March 28: Lots of A&D


It is close to 10 PM now so I’m a bit rusty on what happened today. I worked a 1/2 day and from home; I feel like it was a good day, but am getting more and more itchy to get out of this house away from co-parent. It just is not healthy for any of us. Plus everyone is sick in the house with runny noses, snot, and crumpled tissues everywhere.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Twin Crazy woke up this AM and I brought her right into the bathroom to use the potty. HER DIAPER WAS DRY!!!! She was so excited and I was so proud.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were sitting together reading a book.
  • Red was AOK trying on different socks — for some reason I cannot find ANY of the 12 pairs of seamless socks that I recently bought. Somehow they mysteriously disappeared.
  • The Motley Crew were chancing it again today with the weather and were going to ride their bikes. Big Bro was excited as was I. He got ready, and I got Twin Crazy and Twin Husky ready in the stroller. I kissed Red goodbye and strolled along with the Motley Crew to Big Bro’s school. It has been awhile since I did this. It was good to be out again. Good to be strolling the twins in the AM. Good to see Big Bro on that bike with the kids. Then one of the kids came back to us and said that Big Bro fell. It was a small fall, but still, his bike and he was on the ground, a bit shaken up. All was OK. We got to school OK with no broken skin.
  • I then strolled Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to daycare. They seemed happy and started playing with balls right away. I told her how Twin Crazy’s diaper was dry this AM and both of us made a big deal out of it.
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    I walked home and was thinking about a lot of things. Thinking about how my life has changed so much over the past year, for the better. Thinking about how stuck I was last year, with a partner who proved over and over that I was not a priority and he chose not to listen. Unfortunately my children will suffer for this but I will come out stronger, happier. I know this.

    I passed my neighbor on the way back, swinging her daughter on a swing. Her daughter is the youngest of four kids – so very similar to our household. I know how important it is to grab those special times one-on-one and I made a big deal out of her “mommy time” and how lucky she is. And I also wanted to, but didn’t, say to my neighbor how lucky she was to have this time with her kids and to have a husband that supports and is aligned with the needs of the family. But I walk on, thinking about work…

    Highlights of My Working Day:

  • I get home, make another coffee, eat some breakfast, straighten up, load the dishwasher and run it, start some laundry, jump in the shower.
  • As I get out of the shower my phone is ringing. It is a potential prospect for one of our forums – a potential speaker and member. And here I am naked, trying to have a sales discussion with this person. Taking notes. Getting other contact names. Thinking on my (naked) feet on what I need to say to get this guy to want to come to this meeting. I should have told him I was naked.
  • I had a discussion with a Director about my goals for the future and the roles that I want to focus on going forward. I was frank and told him that project delivery with four children as a single mother will be difficult if not impossible. I want to focus on sales and conference planning/execution/data and delivery going forward. He agrees and we promise to think about the structure and metrics over the next several weeks as we get our collective thinking further defined.
  • I meet with my project team and go over quantitative analysis for 2 hours over the phone. It was rough. These kinds of working sessions remote are really tough.
  • I cleared out some email and addressed several things;
  • I reached out to other potential speakers for one of the forums
  • Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • I packed up at 3 PM and called it a day. I put everything away that was not kid-friendly such as computer, breakable cups, etc.
  • I picked up the twins first. I took my time with them. The weather was beautiful and they were riding tricycles.
  • We then picked up Big Bro and his bike. He rode his bike with us trailing with hazards on over to Red’s school.
  • While at Red’s school, Twin Crazy went to the potty on one of the small potties.
  • We then followed Big Bro back home. He loved riding the bike in the sunshine.
  • While at home I folded laundry and Big Bro helped. Twin Husky had fun throwing the folded piles in the air.
  • Red drew some pictures and then wanted to send them to Nana (along with some princess tattoos). So I helped her put them in an envelop, address the envelop, put on stamps, and then we went to the mailbox together to mail the letter. She was super excited.
  • Dinner was great; salmon.
  • Afterwards I did some exercising with Red and hung out with the kids. Both girls went to the potty together… Twin Crazy on the little potty and Red on the toilet. It was weird but very cute nonetheless. I accidentally scraped Red on her face with my fingernail and apologized. Poor thing. Another crying fit for her. I cleaned up from dinner a bit. Twin Husky started fussing so I grabbed the twins and headed upstairs.
  • Twins were both very tired – and sick. Both have really bad noses and I put A&D ointment on their faces. Both were extremely cranky. I read a book to them and we were searching for the color “yellow” on each page. Then Big Bro and also Red joined in the fun. I had all four kids around me, no longer cranky, trying to quickly find the color yellow with each page. It was awesome. Both Twin Husky and Twin Crazy wanted to touch and play with a “Hess” car before going to sleep.
  • Big Bro asked me if I was going to pick him up early again tomorrow. I said of course I could. I put A&D on his scraped arm from his bike accident this AM and then kissed his forehead.
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    I went downstairs and Big Bro asked me why I don’t go in to him and Red after I’m done with the twins? Good question Big Bro. I can’t stand it either.

    I was cleaning up and Red was having a tough time, crying and calling for me. I tried not to listen. But she kept crying. I cleaned up the table. She was crying. I loaded up the dishwasher. She was crying. I tried not to listen but couldn’t take it. Co-parent was just reading a book to Big Bro and ignoring the cries from Red. I went up to her and he came out when he saw I was coming up. I gave him a chance to handle it and finished cleaning up downstairs.

    Red came out screaming again so I went up to her. I held her. I hugged her. I said it was OK. I helped her brush her teeth. I put more A&D on her scraped face. I put her into bed. I asked her to relax. I told her she was doing great since I saw that her fingers were curled and therefore her hand was relaxed. I said for her to keep it up. I told her I was going to sit outside for a few minutes and come back to her. I did. I left again and then sat in her room for a while away from her bed, doing work on my iPhone. I said I would be outside of her room. I went outside and sat there, working on my iPhone for several minutes. I heard her heavy breathing. I went in and she was asleep. I kissed her forehead, turned off her light, and headed downstairs after verifying that the heat was turned on.

    So now I’m here, downstairs, hearing my kids through a child monitor. I have a lot on my mind. Things to do for work and things to do for the divorce. I’m also thinking of what I need to do to jump-start my life post-divorce. I am looking forward to a fresh start.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    November 15: A hard night for some


    Today was a day of extremes – either the kids were belly laughing or they were screaming in rage. I either felt in control at work or I felt under the gun. And our routine was out of whack because of an early morning conference call. So, I’m glad that the day is almost finished.

    Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • The kids were all up at the same time, and at one point everyone was in Big Bro and Red’s room. The Twins were excited. Red was in a great mood. Big Bro was sluggish. But it was Chocolate Tuesday!
  • I showered quickly and ran downstairs. I was going to take a conference call from home after the kids were already dropped off, and then drive to work — so I didn’t need to do anything with myself in the AM.
  • I helped to get the bags ready, clean up the Twins from oatmeal, dress Red, etc. It all happened very quickly and they were all out of there before I knew it.
  • I took a conference call at 8 AM from home. After the call, I quickly got myself ready and drove into the city.
  • I loved my commute to the city this morning. I remember blasting AC/DC — Dirty Deeds, and Highway to Hell. I got pumped up for the day. It felt good to be mobile. It felt good to me listening to this music and at high volume.
  • Highlights of My Working Day:

  • I had several other conference calls related to the same topic as the call from the morning. Essentially, I am connecting one-on-one with each of the meeting participants to understand from their perspective what worked well, what could have been done differently, and what they want to see out of the next meeting to make that meeting the most valuable to the collective group and to their own organization. Our firm has not done these one-on-one discussions before and they are working out well. It’s also a great way to further and deepen our relationship with these individuals which is always a good thing.
  • I also spent time refining the go-to-market materials for another initiative. I’ll need to reach out to my contacts to describe the change in approach we are taking.
  • I also spent time organizing market interviews for the client project I am working on. We are in deliverable development mode now and I’ve been putting it off. It won’t be hard to do, it’s just hard to start. Once I sit down un-interupted, I should be able to get going on it. I just need the jump-start. This part of my job is always difficult for me – just getting started. Looking at the blank page and knowing that it has to be filled with something intelligent.
  • I spent the rest of the day doing admin items like my timesheet and expenses; and also looking at my workload and hoping that I can become more efficient.
  • Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Since I drove in this morning, I had to drive back from the city. This is what my commute was like (below). Needless to say, I was late getting back to pick up the kids and thank goodness Hubby made the ferry to start the pick-ups. I picked up Red but he got the rest.
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  • We had an “all-orange” dinner tonight. Mac-n-cheese, carrots, and goldfish crackers. The kids thought it was fun. I thought it was easy. I was amazed at the amount of carrots that were consumed.
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  • Twin Husky was climbing everywhere after dinner. Moving his little chair around and standing to grab at counters, turn on/off lights. He was also climbing on the dinner table and on the coffee table. We’ve reached that phase where discipline is necessary and stern “No. That’s not OK”.
  • Red wanted to do a puzzle and finish her mac-n-cheese at the kitchen counter. I helped her with the top of the puzzle as I was multi-tasking with other kids. We did the puzzle 3 or 4 times tonight.
  • I changed Twin Crazy and Twin Husky in PJs and we had a blast. Kissing bellies and playing games with the clothes and tickling them silly. We were laughing so hard that Big Bro asked us to quiet down.
  • Getting them to bed was so easy. They love brushing their teeth and they ABSOLUTELY LOVE their books. They pick out what they want to read and I love the time with them. They are both so interactive. Twin Husky repeats everything I say.
  • Big Bro was watching a movie and threw a tantrum when we said it was bedtime. It was so bad that I had to sit him down and tell him to stop, and look into my eyes and tell him to stop it and to listen and to walk up the stairs for bed. It was rough.
  • So now I sit here, with my throat hurting from laughter, but my nerves also on edge. Maybe I’ll grab a Guinness.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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