Staying Sane: Ride like the wind

This weekend was a big weekend for Big Bro and Red. They are turning 6 and 4 soon, and co-parent decided to go out this weekend and get them suited up for their birthday presents…. new bicycles! So we grabbed the last bike that was big enough for Big Bro – a stretch actually – with gears and front/back handle breaks and all. We also suited up little Red in a fancy pink REAL bike with training wheels – and tassels to boot.



Because of these purchases, we were hanging out quite a bit in the cul-de-sac courtyard behind our house this weekend. It is safer there and there are two houses of young kids. At first I was just camping out with the rest watching the kites, balls, bicycles, scooters, and running of the kids. And then Big Bro asked about his gears. And I started to teach him about them. But he had some problems turning the gears. So I got on his bike to learn how to do it myself. I spun around the courtyard and felt the wind in my face and then realized I needed to focus on learning the gears or else Big Bro would be disappointed. So I got that down, but then continued to ride. Around the cul-de-sac again and going faster and riding riskier and pedaling faster. My heart beating and hearing the wind now.


This has been the most exercise I’ve gotten in too long of a time.

So I had to give the bike up. But then thought to myself – I’m going to grab MY bike — funny though. It is a mountain bike. And I have not rode on it in literally 7 or 8 years. So when I went to check it out, both tires were flat beyond repair and the cobwebs likely choked up the chains. So I grabbed co-parent’s bike.

I came blasting around the bend into the courtyard at warp speed (or at least I felt that way). My leg muscles felt good to be awake. My heart was pounding, my hair was shoved into my helmet but still flying around, the sun was on my skin and I was having FUN. I grabbed Big Bro and we took two loops around our neighborhood. I was talking to him as we went about the gears and the uphills and the downhills; he took to it so quickly and I had so much fun riding around with him.


So now I have another thing to add to my “to-do” list: Get my own bike tuned up and fixed.

The exercise felt good. Being outside in the fresh air felt good. The sun felt good. Being with my son and the kids felt good. But the speed and the freedom and yes the tiny bit of recklessness was AMAZING. I’m looking forward to more of it and maybe shedding some pounds.

What do you Mamas do for exercise? What activities do you find liberating?

Have a great week to all –
– Mama K

November 23: One-on-one time with Big Bro

Today was a work-at-home day. And it was a 1/2 day. And it is the day before Thanksgiving. And we decided not bring Big Bro in for “day camp” today and save the extra money.

That meant that I had some extra time with Big Bro, just me and him.

  • We dropped of the Twins and Red. She wanted to wear her little turkey head band again today. She is too cute. Her teacher chuckled when she saw Red back at school with the hat on. Too cute.


  • I did some work and reached out to a number of prospects for a new forum we are trying to launch. As I did this, Big Bro watched a movie.
  • I straightened up the house and unpacked some Yankee Candles that I ordered. Pumpkin Pie and French Vanilla scents. I love candles. The house just felt warmer with them on.
  • We went out to lunch. We talked. He felt tired and rested his head on my lap for a bit. We held hands. I loved this time with him. I feel like I love him so much that my heart hurts. I asked him if I told him how much I loved him yet today, he said yes, but I kissed his nose anyway.


  • We went shopping at Trader Joe’s for our entire Thanksgiving dinner. I love that place. We were in and out in less than 20 minutes. They had everything and the place wasn’t too crowded. There were little turkey footprint stickers leading the way to the turkeys. We left with four strips of stickers.



Dinner and Bedtime were a bit routine; with the exception of the older kids wanting to read to the younger kids. And also Red asking me to spend some alone time with her, doing exactly what I was doing with Big Bro today. Her face looked so sweet and patient when she asked me this. It’s not like she is jealous of Big Bro – in fact, I hear them right now talking up a storm upstairs – they get along really well. I just always sense her neediness. And I feel bad for her that she went to school while he stayed at home, it’s just that I had work to do and I can accomplish things with him and not nearly as much when she is around – she is much more interactive so I can’t focus on work while she’s here.

This does frighten me. How on earth am I going to be able to give each of these children what they need? How much more can I possibly give? Am I shortchanging them individually because I have so many children collectively?

There’s a sense of sweetness that I’m feeling now, the night before Thanksgiving – with my children who touch me in ways I’ve never dreamed imaginable. How Big Bro took my hand at lunch and how we sat there in silence briefly just being there with each other. How Red looks at me and expresses her need to be with me – while she’s hugging me and laying in my lap. How I danced softly holding Twin Husky earlier in the evening because he seemed more tired than normal and how he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. How Twin Crazy looked at me tonight and said “I did it” and then I looked down at her foot and she had a sandal on, apparently put on by her, all by herself.

But at the same time there is such a feeling of solitude. Loneliness. Despite the new work arrangement and the happiness that it has brought me. There is more. I need more. But I will spend time tomorrow feeling thankful for this family and what we have.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone –
– Mama K

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