My “Staying Sane” series of posts have changed somewhat over time. At first I was trying to write about things or information that I thought would help the working mother in her very hectic life. Now, I find that I am writing about things that I am doing in my own personal life to help me get through the day – in in particular, the weekends. So yes, this is selfish of me. Yes, I know. But please bear with me. This is one of the only channels I have to express what I am feeling and going through right now. This weekend was divided, as it needs to be, but I felt like a child and crammed in some belly laughs along the way.

This weekend was filled with laughter – I had Twin Crazy and Twin Husky on Saturday morning, Big Bro in the afternoon, Big Bro and Red on Saturday evening, and most of the day with Big Bro and Red on Sunday.

Saturday:

• Took Twin Crazy and Twin Husky on a “steam train” ride; they wanted to wear some goofy hats and had a good time; Twin Crazy was a bit scared but I had them with me and they clinged to me so I knew they were safe. They were busy looking around and I was busy hooting it up to get some excitement going.



• Big Bro came with me to get some eyeglasses and he told me that I look strange in them.



• He also came with me to go food shopping and he had fun picking out the fruits all by himself.



• Big Bro, Red and I had movie night and Red was hysterical when sharing her popcorn with me. She would ask me how many I wanted, I would say three, she would give me two, and then both of us would CRACK UP. I guess you had to be there. During the movie I was busy folding laundry with the kids in the same room but Big Bro wanted me to sit in between them and watch the movie with him. He needs to be doing something with me — I am the same way (refer to Languages of Love post)

Sunday:

• After feeding the kids and getting them dressed I headed off with Big Bro and Red – we went to the zoo. But, we never went INTO the zoo. Instead, we rode on the little amusement park rides just outside of the zoo. I rode on a “roller coaster”. Twice. I screamed and laughed. It was the fastest ride I’ve been on in 10+ years, I think. It was a baby roller-coaster. But I had fun. AND NO ONE CRIED!!!
• We took a train ride and actually saw some animals.
• I watched the kids on a spin-around ride and had to laugh just looking at their faces.











• Afterwards we went to a birthday party at a gymnastics studio and I was one of the only parents jumping on the trampolines, jumping into the foam pit, etc. I LOVED IT.

So it was a weekend of laughter. My throat actually hurts (yes I have a cold, but I’d like to think the laughter had something to do with it).

I feel like this is a calm before the storm. The children, particularly the older ones, are more clingy than I would like to see. I know they can pick up on the tension. There were several times this weekend that Red just needed to be held, and rocked. She woke up sooooooo early this morning crying for me. I sat with her in my room on the floor, on the big fuzzy rug, and rocked with her. She wrapped her arms around me and played with my hair along my back. We sat in silence. And then we rested on the rug and waited for the others to wake up.

It kills me that the joy they have in their eyes will be tarnished somewhat in the near future. I want them to laugh uncontrollably and lose themselves in their laughter. To be kids. Not to suffer the feeling of loss or worse, think that they had ANYTHING to do with it. It kills me that these days of free laughter may be limited…. that somehow, they will forever be changed – being touched by loss and grief and that parts of their joy, innocence, and security will be damaged.

I will try my hardest to shield them from what I can; and prove to them that I am a mother they can all count on.

Til tomorrow,

– Mama K