Random Thoughts: Forget it! There is no way to stop time


A friend of mine sent me the below article link tonight and wanted me to share with you.  Thank you Mama G!  I agree that this is worth sharing – I believe it will strike a chord in you.   It’s something that we all know, something that we may wish away, and something that we may try in our own way to slow.   But you and I both know that you can’t stop time from passing us by.

Photo source:  inasinglestroke.com

I think of myself – how I try to document the kids’ milestones, how I take pictures endlessly, and how I do hope if I am lucky enough to live to an old age, that I can somehow, some way, remember what it is like now to be a mother to my children.

This post says it well:

http://www.blogher.com/letter-my-51-year-old-self?page=full

In my case I think I’m a bit older than this author 🙂   For me it might be a letter to my 65ish old self.   🙂   But still…. a good read and a good reminder to stop and simply enjoy your kids.

It’s hard as a working mother.  The weekends are not long enough.  And the weeknights are entirely too short.   But take in that time with your kids and leave the dishes aside.   Watch them interact and play.    Try to take that picture in your mind.  Or better yet, stop to think about the way these kids make you FEEL.   Because it’s probably not the minutia of the day that you will remember.  It won’t be the milestone of when the child lost that first tooth.  It will be the way you FEEL around your child that you will (hopefully) remember.   The fierceness of love, the never ending desire and dedication to do anything and everything that you can for that child.  The way that child could make you laugh from the deepest parts of your being.  The way you FEEL when you look into your child’s eyes.  The PRIDE you have for your child as you have a conversation with your little (or not so little anymore) one.

Take notice of those things.  Take mental notes — no “heart notes” of these FEELINGS.   Some will be good, crazed, anxious… but you will likely treasure those just as you do the pride, joy, admiration, connection, and undying love for each of your kids.

That’s all I will say for now –

I will have an emotional day tomorrow and I will likely need to write about it; so, until then;

– Mama K

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Staying Sane: Take it in and celebrate the Now


How many times have you heard, “Enjoy it, it goes by so fast.”.   And at the time, it is usually when one of the kids is acting up, or maybe if you’re lucky, the kids are acting like angels and you have a quick chance to catch your breath.    With four kids over 6+ years, I’ve heard this more than I would like to admit.   And yes, I get it.   Of course the years go by fast.   I can see it in my skin, my body, my hands.   The way I get tired so easily.    The way I’m starting to forget simple, insignificant things like the names of bands or actresses/actors.  Yes, the years are going by quickly.   We can see it in ourselves and the way we, ourselves, are changing as people.

And it is even more extreme with children.  Yes, we know time is going by fast.  These little people are pushing that fact in our faces every single day.

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How is this supposed to make you feel better you ask?  How is this supposed to make you feel more at ease?  Doesn’t this kind of create an anxiety?

Not if you choose to look at it from another angle.   Time does not have to go by so quickly.   Instead of grasping at the past and the now, you can choose to let it unfold and celebrate the people your children are becoming.   Time will come and go, but enjoying the Now and celebrating the Now with them, at least for me, has become an amazing way to feel connected to them and proud and excited for what may lie ahead.

*****

My little girl was born over four years ago and she was a bald baby but had enough hair for me to know that she would be a red-head.   She was my first girl.  Her squeaks as a baby were different than those of her older brother.  She was softer.  She smelled sweeter.  She would point to her crib when I would sing to her at night to let me know that she was ready to go to sleep.   She started laughing early… and most of the time it was while looking up at her big brother, who was trying desperately to interact and play with this little baby.

She grew into her red hair quickly.   ..scaling fire escapes before she could even walk…  throwing her body over the bathtub wall fully clothed so she could jump in with her brother.   Growing into her laugh.  Growing into her excitement and her personality and her body.   Feeling thrilled by standing by herself.    And taking those first steps.

And now my little girl is over four years old.   And she still looks up to her big brother.  He teaches her to push herself, and her red hair, feisty personality fuels this desire.   She is so fragile yet so strong, at the same time.  She is caring, intuitive, empathetic, silly, and so so energetic.   She is an artist.   She feels deeply.   And she laughs loudly.   And she takes risks.   And now she rides a bike by herself…. years before her brother did.  This does not surprise me.   The glow in her eyes and the smile across her face is too good to be true.   She is my Red.

*****

So yes, time does go by quickly.   We hear it from everyone and of course this is something we already know.   We do not need to be told this simple truth.  We see it daily through our children.

I choose to spend the Now with the kids and celebrate with them.  Laugh with them.   And of course cry with them.  With the new skills our children learn come the scraped knees, the fear of the dark, the frustration of learning something different.   But it is FEELING this with them that is so, so good.   Such passion.  And how they grow, and how they learn, and how wonderful it is to be a part of it and to see it unfolding right before your eyes.

I choose to not fear that time will go by fast.  I choose not to let the craziness of four kids and work get the best of me, and what I believe are the best years of my life.   I choose to stop and feel the Now with the kids and appreciate the time that I have with them and make as much time as I can with them.   Knowing that I’m doing this makes me happier and excited for what is left to come.

Have a great week everyone –

– Mama K

 

 

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