August 22: Re-energized and hopeful post-camping!!!

Happy Monday.

I first have to write a quick update from our weekend. It was the first time that we went camping as a family of six and let me tell you we had an amazing time. The kids had so much fun – it wasn’t the “outward bound” kind of camping (Hubby used to do solo camping hikes through Alaska with only himself and a compass) – this was a KOA camping outfit with a petting zoo, jumpy trampoline, pool, face paining, playground….. and we went with a group of parents of multiples so there were kids EVERYWHERE. We were the only family with four kids and I think we were the family with the least amount of stuff. The twins had a great time climbing and falling down hills, exploring, jumping in mud puddles, and looking at REAL animals. Big Bro and Red are experienced campers so they liked the headlamps and the tent. Big Bro organized the tent for the 2nd night sleeping and he set out his spot and stole Hubby’s sleeping back. Smart kid. It was a great time!!!

Four kids camping

OK – back to reality.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I got out of the shower to hear Red screaming about something and also to hear a huge commotion from the Twins downstairs. I had no idea what was happening down there with breakfast, but I ran to Red. She was upset that her band-aid came off her owie. I inspected the owie and it looked pretty healed to me. But we made an agreement for me to put some lotion on it and instead of 2 band-aids which she had before, I put on one band-aid. That seemed to work but she was still sulking and clingy.
  • Big Bro came in and I was already dressed so the 3 of us made our way downstairs holding hands. Red picked out her outfit the night before – pink shirt, pink pants, pink underwear, and Halloween (orange) socks.

My pink pumpkin

  • Downstairs, the Twins were completely covered in yogurt. We had baths yesterday and you should have seen the amount of yogurt on top of their heads. Even Red and Big Bro were laughing. I couldn’t believe it. It looked like they put more yogurt on their bodies compared to what went into their mouths.
  • Red was still sulking and a bit difficult but she finally said she wanted oatmeal for breakfast. I was on it.
  • Big Bro was in a great mood; I grabbed him shorts and he was looking forward to bringing the movie “The Jungle Book” into school today and also telling his friends about his camping trip.
  • I gave Twin Crazy a diaper change and kissed her belly, kissed her feet, and even started to “eat” her toe which through her into a laughing fit. We had a great time.
  • I only was able to give Twin Husky morning kisses – he was too busy with a shopping cart and a walker moving things all around the house.
  • vitamins – new rule: to get your vitamin, you have to give mommy a kiss. We have two sets of vitamins for Red and Big Bro so I got 4 extra kisses in this morning which was great.
  • Red proclaims: “Mommy…. I am wearing all pink and a YOU are wearing all black!!!” (I am dressed for a client meeting later today). She is so cute and really is doing a lot of comparisons between her and me lately.
  • OK…. ready to go!  I pack up jackets, diapers, wipes.
  • I find the Twins in the office, Twin Husky on top of the chair leaning on the desk with the computer mouse, and Twin Crazy by his side looking up at the computer. They are partners in crime…
  • I scarf down a bagel (thanks Hubby) and pack up some instant coffee for the drive during drop offs.
  • Drop off #1 was fine – there was a trash truck that all the kids were excited about.
  • Drop off #2 was fine – Big Bro’s hair was sticking up all over the place since he went to bed last night with wet hair. I said that his hair has “personality”. He laughed at this. We stopped in the bathroom at school so I could wet his hair down a bit… but told him that it is really handsome to have some scruffy hair and that he is a very handsome kid. I kissed his nose. He was excited to tell his teacher about camping and also show him the movie. The teacher also commented on his nice hair.

So, back on the ferry for another week. It is extremely gray and almost looks like rain. Today at work I’ll need to do some outreach sales efforts on two initiatives but also get ready for a “kickoff” with a client whose project I believe we are starting today. I feel like I’m at a point where selling the work is more fun than doing the work – but I do like the aspect of client interaction, and this project is quite contained, so I think it will work out well.

I’ve struggled lately with the changes that I need to make with my job – I created a new job description for myself back in February but that has not taken hold since we are really short-staffed. I’m trying to think through reduction in work hours and what that could look like but am terrified to do this…. some days are really good at work but some days are not – and overall I don’t feel like I have the balance I need but the cost of living where we are is so outrageous. I wish we could just take a step back and find a different part of the country that would work better for our family. This has been the hardest struggle for me – and one that I’ve grappled with ever since Big Bro was born. I feel like I’m just going through the motions on most days and my life is just going by – but too fast and not the way I choose to live. More on this later. But I think there are big changes on the horizon. Big Bro starts Kindergarten next week which will mean THREE drop offs and THREE pickups and I really can’t imagine doing that…..we shouldn’t be doing this as a family.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • Got to the office and went to the ladies room to “get ready” (makeup). Oooops! Shit!!! I don’t have my make up bag with me. Damnit.  I look like shit but all dressed up.
  • Check my emails; The big proposal was sent off without a problem on Friday. Folks were congratulating each other on the great “team effort”. I’ve heard and seen this before and it really does not motivate me. I will feel good if we get the project – yet I will also be scared to shit. It will be a big one and I think quite stressful to execute.
  • I didn’t have a meeting until 1 PM so I ran to a drug store and bought some make-up to keep at work as a back-up. NOTE TO WORKING MAMAS: get a small bag together of back-up make up if you don’t have time to get yourself together in the morning and ALSO forget your day-to-day make up bag!!!
  • I checked on our budget for the white paper project and we went way over, as I expected. But it was a win-win since we developed a stronger relationship with another consultancy and that can serve as another channel for work.  Both directors involved agreed and they are encouraging me to continue to cultivate the relationship and position us for more.
  • I gave some verbal feedback to the consultant who worked with me on the Whitepaper project. She did a great job and I let her know that. As a company we are really bad about performance reviews over all, and we give NO feedback on a per-project basis, but I thought it was important for me to spend the time with her since she really did the heavy-lifting even though it was a small project. I think it’s important to recognize these efforts and communicate them to the people and upwards. So I spent time today doing that – I enjoy this aspect of the job since this is something I do differently than others. People just don’t expect the feedback so they are appreciative when they get it from me.
  • We had a meeting with a prospective client at 1 PM; we will likely start his project on Thursday of this week. He seems REALLY good to work for (smart, but easy-going – the CEO of a smaller bank) and the work does not seem complicated so I hope we win this one.
  • I spent the rest of the day on admin-related items

The ferry is really nice now – the sun is out. I feel like there are changes that are imminent in my future but I’m not certain what they are just yet. I am hopeful. If work gets to be too much over the next several months I will be forced into a change but we’ll see what happens.

I’m looking forward to reuniting with the kids; although Monday’s in general are a bit rough and I think we’re all still recovering from our camping trip. I think we’re going to make burritos tonight – even though we had them for lunch yesterday. Lowering the bar about things like this makes it much easier for us to get through each day.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Pick ups were great; 2nd pick up Twin Crazy ran into the street and around our van. She has been testing us with the street lately (NOT good). We also lost Twin Husky. We found him along the side of the house looking at flowers.
  • At home Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were outside running around while I was getting the mail. It was rough corralling them into the garage. Twin Husky then wanted to ride on the toy jeep. I literally had to pry him off of the driving wheel. He has gotten to be unbelievably strong.
  • Kids were grumpy; I got all kids upstairs with me while I got changed, and while Hubby started dinner.
  • Twin Husky got a diaper change and then I took them outside in the back yard. They were looking for apples at the floor of our tree.
  • Red and I went outside and took in the empty garbage cans. She wanted to do the little grey one by herself — and she did it! It was so cute. She led the way with one and I carried the other two behind her. She was so helpful.
  • Dinner was great; except Big Bro ate at the counter while Hubby was cooking and therefore didn’t want to come to the table with the rest of us; our rule is that we all eat together at the table so it was rough getting Big Bro over but he eventually did it
  • Mother’s Helper was busy folding about 5 loads of laundry and cleaning up from dinner.  🙂
  • Big Bro and Red were doing magnetic drawing boards together – tracing each others’ hands which was cute
  • Twin Husky and Twin Crazy helped me clean up the toys – putting blocks in the “block bin” and play food in the play kitchen area. It was great.
  • Changed twins into PJs; kissed feet and pretended to eat toes. I loved it.
  • Time to go up!!! Twins went upstairs; we got milk for all; we read to Twins, sang songs, all kissed. They were down. So easy.
  • Big Bro was going potty and brushing his teeth at the same time (gross). I asked him if he needed help – and then I clarified with his teeth, not his poop. I laughed and said – “I can’t help you with your Poop!” but he replied “Yes you can mommy. You can reach in and grab it and pull it out. Ewh. Gross!” We were both laughing at that.
  • I did not read to Red tonight because she pushed Twin Husky earlier and did not apologize. So she did not get a story. Hubby read a quick book to Big Bro.
  • Each wanted their backs scratched; I count their scratches to 10 and then give them extra if they were good. They both got extra tonight.
  • Red got cold, then got hot so there were some changes to PJs. “You are so lucky that I love you so much… do you want to know why?? Because you drive me CRAZY.” This is a standard quote that I have with the kids that makes me laugh and them giggle.

All are upstairs now in bed; it is quiet and 8:30 PM. We had a great night together. I really enjoyed each of them tonight. The toddlers are doing so great with their words and also listening. And the bigger guys were so good with just one breakdown.

All in all a great day; a hopeful day. Not bad for a Monday!

Till tomorrow –

– Mama K

August 16: Powder fight!

First of all THANK YOU for everyone who reached out to me today; this means a lot.  My story is much more complicated than you know but nonetheless I really appreciate all the good vibes people are sending.  Thank you.   These are my notes from my morning commute and rest of the day….


I feel completely out of it this morning.   Woke up in the middle of the night crying – so as well as feeling down, I’m very sleepy.   My eyes are swollen this morning so with no make up I must look like a sight.   Anyway,

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I missed most of the morning with the kids.   Red came in to greet me all dressed and EXTREMELY proud of herself.  “I got dressed all by myself!!”.    She asked me to help her roll up her sleeves — the sleeves honestly did not need to be rolled up but I did it anyway and made a real big fuss about how great she did and how proud of her I was.  I think the rolling of the sleeves was her way of holding on to me… maybe knowing I was still there for her.   How sweet.
  • Big Bro was already downstairs — it is Chocolate Tuesday after all.
  • Twin Husky was busy saying “Hiiiiiiiiiiyyyyy” when I saw him.
  • Twin Crazy was acting anxious — I was not sure if she wanted some bread with Nutella too so I offered it but she looked at it like it was dirt and walked away.   Later she came up to me with bread crusts and I’m not sure if she wanted me to try again with Nutella or if she was just giving me garbage.   I did not have the energy to figure it out.
  • I made some coffee this AM
  • Got the kids their vitamins.
  • Hubby already loaded everyone in the car; I grabbed the bag and found the random shoes.
  • first drop off went very, very well.   I again made a big deal about Red picking out her clothes and putting them on all by herself.   She seemed happy and smug.   Daycare told us that ALL day yesterday Twin Crazy was singing to herself and moving her hands.    I’m wondering if she was singing Twinkle Twinkle or maybe Itsy Bitsy Spider???!??!?    How cute.   Twin Husky smiles when I bring him out of the car seat and says “Byyyyyyyyyyyye” to Big Bro.    He snuggles in for one last hug before I hand him over to Daycare.   They all seem happy there.
  • Drop off with Big Bro went well.   The teacher noticed that he did not bring in a game today – I wonder if the kids were too rough with his Uno cards yesterday.   He gets particular like that over his things.

Ferry ride is quiet; the water is still.  It is gray and foggy.   I just want to break down and cry some more but am holding it in.    Today at work I’ll likely work on a proposal and continue to do sales outreach for the meeting in October.   After departing the ferry me and hubby walk together and I finally let it loose; I am so unhappy – and he knows it.    We go our separate ways and I fall to pieces.   I grab some breakfast, coffee, and OJ and the stranger behind the counter pleads with me that she knows there is something terribly wrong but sometimes just putting on a smile gets you through the day…. little does she know that I’ve run out of smiles a long time ago and can’t find my smile unless I’m with my children.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • I spent most of the day working on the finishing touches of a proposal.   We shipped it off at the end of the day and it is very likely that we will start the work on Monday.   We do not think the client is going to any other consulting firm – I’ve been the day-to-day contact with him so this is my first true “lead” sale.   (he got to us through a random phone call from the website, but I answered the call…. lucky me!)
  • I also assisted with a big proposal that is due to the potential client by end of week.   Coordinated the “references” so we can begin to reach out to our previous clients to see if they would feel comfortable serving as references for our work.
  • I did some sales outreach for the meeting in October.   Sent materials to a client I sold into the membership – so again, I am the point person for a new client relationship here.


I had a pretty bad day.   I was crying a lot at work and it was very visible that I was distressed; “No, there’s nothing you can do, but thank you” was always my response.   I’m hoping things can change – my family is depending on it.


Dinner and Bedtime:

I had an EXCELLENT time with the kids tonight.   I missed them from last night and this morning so really they were such a joy to be around tonight.

  • We pick up Red and Twins and it was so cute, they were going for a walk along the cul-de-sac.   They are so sweet.  No more babies!   They are so big now!
  • At home, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are extremely interested in Red going pee-pee on the little potty.    They both wave goodbye to it as I flush it down the toilet.   I clean out the potty and Twin Crazy sits on it (clothed) as does Twin Husky.   Then Twin Crazy flushes the toilet again.  So cute.
  • I don’t know all the details, but I do know that Twin Husky took a bite out of Red’s thigh somewhere near the bookshelf.  So maybe they were fighting over a book.   This is REALLY a first for us.  I promptly reprimanded him and put him in his first “time out” for about 1 1/2 minutes – he was screaming, then sulking, but he knew that what he did was wrong.    Poor Red has teeth mark bruises on her leg now.  She was brave putting ice on her leg.
  • Twin Crazy’s foot got caught in a tissue box
  • Twin Crazy opened the refrigerator and took out a juice… then all the rest of the kids requested juice, even Twin Husky “juice”.   We usually only give milk or water before bedtime so this was a real treat for them to have juice at dinner.   I guess this is a rule we abide to for now on?   All for one and one for all?    Hmmmm.   I don’t know about this.    I think I’m going to have to back down on this one.
  • After dinner, Twin Husky was still crawling around on the floor picking up left-overs.  We don’t even need a dog in this house because of him.  Red thought that this was EXTREMELY funny.
  • Big Bro said he could count to 100, to 1,000, to 10,000, 100,000.   I mentioned 900,000 and then he mentioned 1 million.  I asked him if he had ever seen anyone write out 900,000 and he said no, so I grabbed my notebook to show him.   He’s really interested in numbers and science and reading – I am so psyched about it.  He goes to Kindergarten in less than two weeks and I know that it will be a lot for ME.   I think I need to take him shopping for a new lunchbox or something.
  • I changed Twin Husky and put some powder on him.   We all proceeded to feel the powder, me put powder on their bellies, powder in their hands, and suddenly all five of us were covered in powder.   My shirt still is grey and stinks of it (at least it’s a good stink).
  • Off to bed!    Books and kisses.   I love all of them so much!
I had such a great time tonight – what a roller coaster of a day.   My eyes are still swollen and burning – hopefully tomorrow will be more consistent.
Till tomorrow,
– Mama K



August 11: Flying high and evening reunion

Today will be a very unusual day in our household.   I am taking a day-trip flight to present our findings and recommendations to a client audience of 15 people including the Senior EVP.   This means that I had little to no time with my kids this AM – only Red was awake (sortof) when I left the house…and hubby had to do the morning routine and get 4 kids out all on his own…

Highlights of the Morning and “Commute”

  • I woke up much earlier than normal.   Showered, and ran downstairs to make some instant coffee.  I got dressed in a dress and black blazer, and actually blow dried my hair to make it more presentable.
  • Red woke up during this time.   She is always the early riser of the bunch.   She was a bit cranky.
  • Big Bro last night asked me to leave him a note with the names of the games on my iPad – I downloaded some and then wrote the note as I promised.   So I left the note for him by his bed.  I also left a note for Red – “I ♥ you   – Mommy
  • Since she was cranky we went back into her room to find her note.   I sat with her and read it to her and told her Big Bro received a note so I HAD to leave a note for her too.   She looked at me and started to smile – still holding it in but then jumped on my lap and gave me the biggest hug.    That made my morning and the feeling will help me through the morning since I didn’t have time with my other children.
  • The ride to the airport was easy – we live very close.  I parked in the hourly parking lot.
  • Got the ticket at the kiosk – business select – breezed through security
  • Grabbed fruit, yogurt, coffee, and juice – the best breakfast ever.   I ACTUALLY ATE!!!    AND I DIDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYONE EXCEPT FOR MYSELF!!!
  • Make up in bathroom (this I guess was part of my usual routine — but there was lots more counter-space and lots more light)
  • Now on flight.   And its quiet!   I don’t have any kids jumping around or trying to run down the isles or looking behind or kicking the seat in front or needing an activity or complaining that they are hungry/thirsty/tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • However, I do need to prepare for a major presentation I will give 3 hours from now.
  • Text from Hubby:   “Everyone was in a bad mood.   [Red] crying and not eating.  Twins fighting over yogurt…. spilling all over.   Dad exhausted and heading into long day.  [Big Bro] was sleeping in and ok.”
  • And another coffee on flight… my third…. yes I’m flying high at this point
Highlights of my Working Day:
  • Met up with Director and grabbed a taxi to the client.
  • Looked through presentation and made some last notes to myself for talking points.
  • Met with client 1/2 hour before the meeting so she could give last minute guidance; also sold the concept of another project to her and she is excited and completely on board.  She needs to coordinate with some others in the organization but it looks like we can add them to our list of interested participants in the study we are jointly conducting with our partner.   YEAH!!!
  • Had a 1 hour presentation where we presented some very sensitive material.   I tactfully handled areas of sensitivity that I knew of, however there was a person on the phone who was not part of the process at all and was extremely defensive.   We were challenged by him since 1) we tried to include him in our previous interviews/discussions but he sent a proxy instead — so he was working with us on the first time with a lot of these issues; and 2) he was on the phone and not face-to-face.   Face to face with these kinds of meetings is so much better so you can establish actual connections to the people.   In the end though the leadership gave us high accolades, again, so we felt good about the work.
  • At this point it’s 1:30 — grab taxi to airport.   We’re at different terminals, so I’m on my own.  Go thru security, I’m starved…
  • Grab lunch — pizza, and a BIG heffeweisen beer.   I’m psyched.    During lunch/beer I start writing the proposal that is due this week.   I actually made a lot of progress and then realized my flight was boarding so quickly closed down and ran to the gate

Work and beer go together wonderfully

  • Continued the proposal on the plane; talked business with the guy next to me — he had some ideas for this Blog so I am grateful for meeting him.
  • Grabbed another beer — the day is getting better and better.
  • Grab car – head home.   I go to ferry station to drop off the Audi and pick up the mini-van.
  • Head home and continue to work on the proposal for another hour.   Get it to a point where I can email to a Director on East Coast so he will look at it and then give me his feedback (he is 3 hours ahead of me which works well).
  • Talk to Hubby.   The plan is for me to pick up the kids and get to the ferry station in time for them to see the boat arrive.   I’m on my way!!!
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • Pick up kids — WHAT A REUNION.    I did not see them a lot the previous night, and definitely didn’t see them in the morning.  So this was fun.  Big Bro was talking about the note I left for him.  He likes it and said he’s always going to keep it.   I have to write him more notes [feeling guilty…]
  • Red was wearing her pajamas from the night before – I guess Hubby had a hard time dressing her this AM.    Then I notice that Big Bro is wearing the same shirt as yesterday (that he also slept in).   I’m wondering if he at least changed his underwear and socks?   Oh well.
  • Ferry came in and all kids were fixated on the boat, and seeing Daddy.
  • At home with everyone!    I played with kids; tickled, hugged, laughed, ran, I love the reunions.
  • Red needed to pee and wanted privacy; Twin Crazy was running around; Big Bro was playing with a beach-ball “globe”; Twin Husky was cranky — wanting Daddy and his doggie blanket.
  • Dinner went great; Big Bro ate like a champ.   Hubby brought out mangos which were a hit
  • Afterwards we played – animals, balls, cars — and the kids all helped putting toys away
  • All kids went to sleep quickly
So, it was an unusual travel day with significant work presentations… hubby had to pick up the slack in the AM for me to be able to even do any of this.    The kids looked good and healthy – they were a bit smelly from old clothes but that is the least of my concerns.   We were happy to be back together and getting back into our normal routine together.
All in all a very good day –
Till tomorrow,
– Mama K

August 8: Busy at Work, Busy at Home, and NO Mother’s Helper (again!)

Oh, Mondays. These used to be really rough for me but my weekend was not that spectacular so I welcome getting back into a normal routine. We did not do much of anything on Sat or Sun. The highlight was taking the kids to a nearby park and having all four of them tear down the little, medium, and big slides. Twin Husky was flying down the medium slide head first, laughing his butt off. Both Twin husky and Twin Crazy would go down the little slide and then topple over onto the bark ground which they thought was hysterical, and me and Big Bro thought even more hysterical. The weekend was very cold and gray. Twin Husky got some more biting practice in. Poor Twin Crazy, and also Red. They are beginning to fear him.

 Highlights of the morning:

  • Red woke up first and climbed into our bed, playful. She seems like in a great mood
  • Red and Twin Husky make it down with Hubby for breakfast
  • I hear Twin Crazy screaming… because she woke up alone in her room.  She was really pissed off that she woke up and her brother was not there.  She feels like she’s missing out on something.   I fetch her and she has a good time combing her hair and my hair.
Twin Crazy is pissed that everyone is downstairs except for her
  • I wake up Big Bro and start to gather clothes for the day. He has definite opinions. He needs to have a picture on his t-shirt or else it is rejected. We have so many plain t-shirts that just never get used.
  • downstairs the Twins are busy eating applesauce, bananas and Cheerios. They are talking up a storm and having fun with Red.
  • Big Bro is in a great mood.
  • Getting them dressed was no problem. Red and I played a game where I was helping her with her socks but she kept giving me the foot that was already “socked”.. “I don’t need THAT guy [referring to her foot], I need THIS guy [referring to her other foot].” “I’m giving you THIS guy”. “No, I need THAT guy.” It was really cute. She is in a great mood. She even had time to put on a tattoo that she was excited about.
  • I gathered clothes for daycare for Twin Husky [this is something that I should do the night before to make the time more efficient in the morning….]
  • Shoes on! Let’s go!!!
  • Red says she wants to see Daddy go on the ferry and then all of us go to Big Bro’s school. I say we can only do that on days that I work from home. That does not seem to satisfy her much.
  • Drop off #1 went without a problem. She whisked them away because it’s really cold outside
  • Drop off #2 went well. Big Bro brought in a book “101 Dalmatians” and his teacher said “Cool! Great book. Do you want me to read it?” I love that place. We will likely have Red start in the same school in September.

Today for work I will need to double-task and hustle. I am double-booked in the AM where I need to get a deck ready for distribution for an internal team, yet I also have an internal call to strategize for a new proposal we will be developing. It will be hard for me to multi-task on this so I need to hit-the ground running when I get into the office to get the first done before the second begins. But I’m hungry. I guess it will be more coffee and trail mix. Later in the day I will need to reach out for more business development for the meeting in October. WE have a status call tomorrow that I will need to be ready for.


Highlights of my Working Day:

  • Ran into the office, did not have time to eat (trail mix) or put on make up…. I updated the go-to-market materials and quickly sent off to our internal team – I had just 20 minutes to do this since I had a call at 9:30
  • 9:30 conference call to discuss the potential proposal that we will likely bid on; it will be a very big project across regions and we have 2 weeks to pull it together. Three directors and I got together to talk about the business need and think about what work we’ve done that we can leverage approach / thinking of the business issue. It will be very interesting if we get it.
  • Quickly put on some make up and grabbed trail mix. Headed to next conference call
  • Internal call on the go-to-market materials I sent that AM. I received some great feedback and spent the next several hours incorporating. Grabbed some lunch take-out and ate at my desk while working. Sent all materials to our team and our partner.


Today went reasonably well. I think I do better (mentally) when working in the office vs. at home. I was busy, had the heater on in my office so I was nice and toasty, and I was extremely comfortable in my garb (nice soft long sweater, leggings, high heels — sexy but comfy).

Me and hubby are headed home now; ferry is great, sun is finally out. Dinner? Just talked about this with hubby and we are leaning on spaghetti and meat balls (Costco). I’m looking forward to pick up with the kids and hearing their squeals (Twins) when we arrive.

 Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Pick up for Big Bro went great; Pick up for Twins and Red went fine. Today they drew outlines of their hands. Our daycare provider does the minimal in terms of creativity so I was surprised at this and made a huge deal over it.
  • We started dinner – pasta and meatballs. Kids were really hungry/cranky so we gave them some raisins and crackers to hold them over.
  • While it was cooking I started to dance and play follow the leader with all the kids to our electric keyboard. It was a lot of fun.
  • 6:30 came and went. It looks like we were stood-up again by our new Mother’s Helper. I have two loads of laundry in our back bedroom that need to get folded, more laundry to start, and an entire sink of hand-washables. *I&^$*&^(*#^$)(&^
  • Everyone ate well. Even Red. So much so that Hubby made the kids ice-cream cones. Ryan was very frustrated that he wanted more. Threw himself down on the ground with a tantrum.
  • Hubby went out front with the kids so Big Bro could ride his electrical jeep and the rest of the kids could run off the sugar. It was freezing. It’s so cold out here where we live.
  • I in the meantime cleaned up from dinner, started doing more laundry, and got the PJs and milk out for the Twins
  • Bedtime for Twins was fine. Singing twinkle twinkle and itsy bitsy spider. Twin Crazy likes to take part with her hands. Twin Husky was too cranky to participate. Both “brushed their teeth” which was cute.
  • We usually do a round of kisses with the Twins but Twin Crazy did not want to get near Twin Husky. I guess they were fighting a lot today and I think she may be scared of his biting. When he gets pushed to far he lashes out with his teeth and does a throaty grunt.
  • Big Bro was great tonight at bedtime. I read him a book and he caused no problems. He laid down with his head in my lap and I was loving it. Red was a different story. There were issues with her and the potty, and issues with her getting into PJs. Then she came in and out and put the hallway lights on. Then she came out and needed a towel to dry her hands. As I type this she is now out saying that she is scared. “Just pull that blanket up to your chin honey…. you have to go to sleep now.”  I think I hear her now sighing and dreaming, upstairs, at the top of the staircase landing.    Don’t tell me that she’s asleep in the hallway!


Today ended just fine. The house is a mess but we had fun with the kids. Laundry is going, this post is done, and I will now put another ad in Craig’s List for yet another Mother’s Helper. This time I’m going to stress dependability and will probably ask for references.


Till tomorrow –


– Mama K

August 5: Extra time with my pumpkins but still so depressed

Today I was lucky to have some extra time with Red, Twin Husky, and Twin Crazy – their daycare provider had a doctor appointment so I had to bring them in later.   Because of this I took the liberty to work from home.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I got up a big slowly (drank too many beers the night before) but made it to the shower and downstairs in time to organize a few things before the kids were up
  • I took it slow.   There really was no rush since I did not have to take the ferry.   I enjoyed the kids.
  • I had four piles of clothes today, versus the normal two.   This is because daycare usually changes Twin Husky and Twin Crazy into day clothes for us – it makes our morning routine easier that way.  But today, we had four piles which was fun.
  • The kids cooperated with breakfast.   I made a full pot of coffee for my day at home.
  • When it was time to go, I had all kids get ready with shoes etc.  Twin Husky and Twin Crazy both came to me, one by one, to get their shoes on.
  • We dropped of Big Bro at school – he knew we were all coming in but he specifically requested that not everyone come into his classroom.   I agreed to this.  So the plan was to get the siblings set up in the “common room” at pre-school with toys and then privately drop of Tyler.  He was happy with this plan.
  • When I got them out of the van they were all well-behaved and stayed on the sidewalk holding hands.   The group knows to do this, especially if we are in a parking lot or crossing a street.
  • We got inside and the siblings were excited about the toys which were new to them.   Big Bro was happy that he had me to himself for drop off, and that his friends didn’t have to look at a huge group of kids (his kids) as they welcomed him into the room.
  • Red, Twin Husky, and Twin Crazy had a blast at pre-school.  We stayed there for an hour, playing with dolls, legos, plastic animals — playing make-believe in a kitchen area — climbing/sitting/getting down from chairs and doing it again, and again, and again.   They really had fun.
Kids playing with "new" toys at Big Bro's pre-school
  • When it was time to leave they were great.   Again, they stayed on the sidewalk until I shuffled them in the van.
  • We cruised by the library but it wasn’t open yet, so we went home.   Had a blueberry snack, watched our landlord mow our lawn, colored with markers, played with a keyboard, and did a puzzle.    There was only one problem (a BIG one)…. Twin Husky bit Twin Crazy’s finger.   I couldn’t believe it.   We’ve never had a biter.   I reprimanded him with a very harsh tone and he looked down but did not cry.   He took it like a man.   Then about a minute later Red came screaming over to me saying that Twin Husky tried to bite her.   Oh shit.   I can’t deal with this.  Daycare then called at 11:30 so I happily dropped them off.
  • After their drop off I headed to the food store – bought a chicken for dinner and a lot of other stuff.  Picked up a burritos for me for lunch.
I love experiences like this.  It gives me a glimpse of what it is like to be a stay at home mom.   I really had fun.  The kids had fun.  They were so well-behaved, with the exception of the bite incident.   But I was ready to give them to daycare.   I was ready to head home and get some work done.   So I know that I do want to continue to work, but I guess just a bit more time with my kids is all I need to feel more balanced, more happy.
Highlights of my Working Day:
  • I essentially sat on my couch with my feet up and worked on the go-to-market materials for the start-up initiative; we need those materials complete for a progress call next week AND for a client meeting next week.
  • I threw in a load of laundry.  I ran the dishwasher.
  • I booked a flight for a client presentation for next week – we were asked to go and present our findings and recommendations to a much larger audience… essentially all the people who were involved in the internal interview process and they are the ones whose jobs will be impacted as a result of the work.   This meeting by far will be the most stressful of any we’ve had to-date.   I will need to refresh the presentation deck to make sure the tone is proper so as not to offend anyone in the room on that day.
  • I threw the chicken in the oven at 4 PM.   I started to cook some beets.     I set the table.  I got the pajamas ready for the kids.   I confirmed that our Mother’s Helper was planning to show up tonight.   YEAH (there’s a whole pile of clothes to do, and a whole sink of hand-washables for her to attack).
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • I was on my own tonight since Hubby was at a baseball game.    This was fine since dinner was done and I was ready for them.
  • All ate well.   Twins liked the beets.   Big Bro and Red at least tried them.   The chicken was a hit.
  • Afterwards Big Bro and Red watched a movie and ate popcorn (we like to do this on Friday nights).  Twin Husky was having fun rocking back and forth and talking on our rocker.   Twin Crazy had a great time on the slide structure.
  • Pajamas were fun; the Twins were ready.   I got them milk and they took the milk and their blankets over to the stairs.  They were so ready.  Up they went – books, sing a song, kisses, and in their cribs — butts in the air, blankets in hand, thumbs in mouth.   Out.
  • Red and Big Bro were fine with teeth brushing, etc.   They both sat in my lap for two books.  Big Bro looked exhausted and was out within 5 min of getting into bed.
  • Red came out saying that her finger hurt – so I looked at it, found nothing, but offered her a band-aid.  She proceeded to put it on the wrong finger (wrong hand even) and I caught her in the act and mentioned it to her.   She looked at me, put her chin down and eyes up, and tried to hold back a smile.   She knew I was onto her.
I had a great day, but for some reason I was still extremely depressed in the afternoon and even now.   Spending too much time in an empty, soul-less house is really disturbing for me.   We are renting our place and it was meant to be a temporary spot for us (for a year or so) until we figured out where we REALLY want to settle.   But Kindergarten is getting underway soon, our place is so empty (no pictures up, bookshelves empty) and it feels like my life is in a holding pattern with no time horizon for any decision to be made.  It is so disturbing to me.   I find it so hard to believe that despite my working from home and having time with my kids (and kind of feeling like a stay at home mom today), I am still so unhappy.   I feel so misplaced.   And I think my meeting my old high-school friend last night had a lot to do with it.   I miss my home.   I want a home for my children.  I want less stress and less pressure.   I want simplicity.    I want to enjoy my time and live my life with my family – and get on with establishing a home and rooting for the sake of them and myself.   I will need to write more on this at another time – but I’m just feeling so down right now.    So empty despite having so much.
I think I’ll call it a night, check in on my sleeping kids, take my meds and go to sleep –
Till next week –
– Mama K

August 4: Old routine, old friend, and too many beers…

Today is a bit unusual since Red woke up in the middle of the night and Hubby went downstairs to sleep. So, I woke up early and handled most of the morning routine with the kids – like I used to do before I “hit the wall”:

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I woke up first and ran to the shower; I got showered and dressed within 10 min
  • Ran downstairs and then did the following while all kids were still upstairs sleeping / in their beds:  packed Big Bro’s lunch, got breakfast ready for Twins (blueberries, cherries, pears, raisins), got Big Bro’s bagel ready in the toaster, got Red’s oatmeal ready in the bowl, gathered everyone’s’ jackets and shoes in the daycare bag and put everything by the garage door.   All of this time I was running, running, running through the kitchen… best to get everything set up before ANY of the kids come down, otherwise you have to stop in your tracks for any little distraction
  • put a cup of water in the microwave so I could make instant coffee, I am feeling very slow from Glam night – drank too much; I drink water, take Advil and hope the coffee kicks in soon.
  • went up stairs and got both twins up. Decided to diaper them in their room since it is easier and faster with a captive audience. They did great. Laying down on different blankets each having their own turn
  • Gathered clothes for Big Bro and Red and then we all came downstairs
  • everyone ate well, with few issues/fights.   Note; there were lots of leftover pears that were not a huge hit a “glam night” – so this AM everyone went nuts over the leftover pear slices
  • there was a small fight with Red and Big Bro over seats, but that quickly got solved when I brought out vitamins for later.
  • When I was gathering shoes, Twin Husky ran into the garage and then got extremely pissed when I tried to bring him back – I thick he was looking for the climbing structure. He threw himself down in a fit. “I know you want to go in the garage and play. I know, You want to go in the there NOW. But the slide is in here honey…. look… there’s the slide“. And then he ran off happily.
  • Gathered everyone in the car — no issues. We were running very late since we got a late start but all kids were cooperating which was a blessing for us this AM.
  • Drop off with Twins and Red went fine.
  • Big Bro drop off went fine. I asked him if it was OK for us to spend some time together tonight since I didn’t have a lot of time with him last night. He said Yes. I got a hug from him and then he decided to come back for another one. I love him so much it hurts.

It is gray, and cold. I am a bit slow today from Glam night. I met some great people and am glad that I went. I will need to get my ass in gear though for work today. Today I will need to:

  • work on proposal from yesterday
  • participate in client business Development call for a proposal that we will be writing soon
  • develop the go to market materials for the firm initiative; it has to be done TODAY or else I’m dropping the ball.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • Had the business develop call with the potential client; the project is much bigger than I originally anticipated. We will start eth proposal next week
  • found out that the client for our last project that just ended is requesting me/partner to present the recommendations to a much larger audience – they are going to pay extra for this since they want us there in person. This was very flattering for me and I’m actually looking forward to the trip — will require a day trip via plane but that will work just fine.

I met a very close friend from High School after work and had an amazing time.  I literally have not seen this person in close to 20 years and it was great to see him again.  Reconnecting with people after so much time passes really blows my mind. It is like living a different life – but then going full circle and going back in time. He is the same – a bit older, but still the same smile, same gleam in his eye, and it was wonderful to get together with him.

I am definitely impaired while I write this (I’m on ferry to home now) and hope that Hubby takes the lead during the pick ups for the kids!!!! He brought me sunflowers tonight and I was so surprised.  So beautiful.  And so sweet of him.  I feel like a very lucky woman right now.


Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Pick ups were great
  • got home and hubby started to make pizza; I played with twins; they had fun on the slide
  • Big Bro and Red helped to make dinner — they rolled out dough and made their own little pizzas
  • dinner was fabulous. I was spinning – I drank too much at “happy hour”
  • Big Bro played Red Birds after dinner (looks like we didn’t do the puzzle)
  • I went to get mail with Red and Twins.    Twins made a break for it and ran down the sidewalk a few houses away.  They were both laughing their butts off while I was trying to be firm with them (but then smiling when they weren’t looking and laughing inside)
  • I tickled the Twins for a long time
  • then bedtime! Whew!!! I’m tired

BY THE WAY — NO MOTHER’S HELPER AGAIN TONIGHT. WE ARE DISGUSTED WITH THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. AND TIRED. I hope she shows up tomorrow night or else we may have to go somewhere over the weekend to escape the crud. 🙂

Today was an excellent day. I’m going to drink some water now.

Until tomorrow –

– Mama K

August 3: Glam night

We had a good night’s sleep, finally. Red did not wake up feverish, or scared, or at least if she did she did not interrupt us.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I was running around gathering our things – shoes, extra clothes, my shoes, and was in the garage doing this. Twin Husky made a run for it and ran straight for our “toddler slide structure” — he loves that thing. It’s a bit big for them and they have room to climb/scramble up the slide, there’s room up top for a “landing” and a steering wheel, and then a small slide. He loves it. It was a hand-me-down from REd who was absolutely wild about slides when she was his age. He did NOT like the fact that I had to take him off the slide. So much so that he threw himself on the ground crying like he was in pain. “I know sweetie, you wanted to play on that slide. Now! You wanted to PLAY! You’re MAD because you wanted to PLAY on the SLIDE!! I know, I understand.” Then he got up and hugged me and then started playing with my earrings. He moves on quickly.
  • Big Bro got some extra chocolate today. I couldn’t believe it. It was not announced to the rest of the group, but Hubby put chocolate on a plate and had Big Bro eat it along with some banana. He kept it REAL quiet.
  • Twin Husky was self feeding applesauce and had it everywhere. I asked him to show me how it works…. how does the spoon work, where does it go…. “In your EAR? No….. Up your nose??? NO……. In your Mouth?” Then he put the spoon in his mouth and was so cute. Smiling up at me all coy and feeling proud of himself.
  • Red was a bit cranky. She ate well but only got 1/2 changed. I packed the rest in the bag for daycare.
  • Drop of with Red and Twins was slow. Red did not want to go. I feel bad for her. She was crying when we left which broke my heart.
  • Drop off with Big Bro was great. He is happy there. We can’t wait to get Red there too, although it will be twice as much money for her to go there. We think at this point it is worth it so she can be in more of a learning environment.

The sky is gray. People in the ferry are quieter than normal. Today at work I will need to:

  • follow-up with our client on the white paper and see her reaction to the work
  • develop go to market materials for firm initiative
  • begin to write a proposal for the opporunity fielded last week

Tonight I’ve been invited to a “glam” party with some moms in the area. I only know one of them. So today at work I’m wearing a dress and sparkly necklace and silver shoes. I’m feeling good about myself. I think dressing up gives me extra confidence and a prowess boost of energy.

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • I ate an enormous breakfast — quesadilla with egg, potato, cheese, and ham.
  • I started to write the proposal for a potential client based upon the phone conversation yesterday
  • I coordinated a business development meeting with a client for a proposal we will likely write next week
  • I arranged team meetings for a firm initiative
  • I reached out to an industry leader for some questions related to a project underway
  • I prepared an invoice for a project that recently concluded
  •  We received word today that the client project we recently completed will not proceed to Phase 2 — not because of the work (they were very complimentary) but because they needed to save cost and jumped right to Phase 3 (which we were never meant to deliver). 😦
  • I ate some fig newtons for lunch. Pathetic.
  • I am still procrastinating on the go-to-market materials that I promised to deliver. I absolutely NEED to get that COMPLETE tomorrow otherwise I am dropping the ball.

The sun is out but it is very, very cold. I have tentative plans to meet some women in the neighborhood for “glam night” — I only know one person there. I dressed “glam like” for work today…silver shoes and sparkly necklace and earrings… about as glam as I could possibly go for the office. I am not terribly excited about going but suppose I need to push myself out there to meet new people. I’ve felt very isolated and down lately and I’m not sure if this will help or hurt (e.g., if they are all stay at home moms). Hmmmmmm. What to do?

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Pick up for big bro went without a problem.   However pick up with other kids had some issues.   Red was extremely upset over something, and I still don’t know exactly why.   I think she was upset over a 2 day old bagel that she put in the back of the mini-van, but am not sure.
  • I brought in the slide play structure and all kids were having a good time with it…. until Twin Crazy and Twin Husky started fighting over standing space on the top of the structure, until Big Bro started sitting with an attitude at the bottom of the slide preventing the other kids from going down, and until Twin Husky grabbed Red with both hands around her pudgy waist to pull her out-of-the-way.   So essentially all kids wound up in foul moods because of the slide structure.
  • Hubby handled dinner while I played / controlled kids
  • Hubby handled bed time with the kids while I went out to “glam night”.   I met a bunch of great ladies.  I’m definitely glad that I went!!!   I actually met another mom with four kids (whew – makes me feel a bit normal) and lots of women that actually made me laugh.   I met a lot of stay-at-home moms and really connected with them – and some women who stay at home as entrepreneurs.   I wish I had their drive/sense of security…. I just feel like I don’t have an option or if I do have an option just walking away from the stable source of money/income REALLY frightens me….   this is my own issue that I really need to sort out….hopefully I come to some REAL decisions before the year is out.   I also drank a lot of wine wish was a nice way to spend a Wednesday night.
Anyway, this was a great day; I hope Red stays asleep tonight because I am already a bit tipsy and know I need the sleep.  Tomorrow will be a slow day regardless….
Till tomorrow,
– Mama K

August 2: Chocolate mustaches

OK so I think I had my first technical glitch with my iPad.   I lost my entry from this morning.   So I’m typing this now from memory….

We had a terrible night last night.    Red kept waking up.   I slept through the first one – she was scared about something.   The second one was at 4 AM — she was in the hallway with the lights on, just sitting there upset.   She had a fever.   After some medicine I scooped her up in our bed (I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it).   So we woke up very groggy and were running late from the start.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were going bonkers with yogurt.   It was in their hair, up their noses, all over the place.
Twin Crazy is crazy over yogurt

Twin Crazy is crazy over yogurt

  • Big Bro and Red ate quickly because of Chocolate Tuesday.   We give them Nutella spread on bread/bagel on one day of the week and they picked Tuesday.   Their faces are covered in chocolate and I want to kiss it all off.   Red looks like she has a handlebar mustache of chocolate and she looks very happy.
The mustaches of "Chocolate Tuesday"

The mustaches of "Chocolate Tuesday"

  • Twin Husky is really talking now, clearly.  “Down”.   Uhhhhhhh  ohhhhhhhhhhwwwww”   How cute.   I love this stage.
  • Red does not want to get changed so I pack up her clothes in the daycare bag, along with Twins’ shoes, jackets.
  • We are running extremely late so we whisk everyone off.
  • I at least had time for some coffee but will need to deal with breakfast later.

They sky is looking ok but I’m trying to get energized for the day.    I think I’m in a better state of mind to be more productive today.   Today I will need to:

  • discuss sales status of big meeting in October
  • Review and complete our whitepaper deliverable for our client
  • finally get to the go-to-market materials for our other firm initiative
  • have a business development call with a potential client to qualify the opportunity and also get a sense of his budget.
Highlights of My Working Day:
Things moved a bit better today. I got ready for the day with a positive attitude. Today I:
  • Reviewed the white paper draft in the early AM, and then reviewed again in late afternoon and provided my last feedback. The analyst will send the paper to the client directly tonight. I think it turned out well and hope that we have established a good working relationship with the client. I hope we over-delivered so that we position ourselves for more work.
  • Accompanied two Directors to look at office space. We will likely be moving locations and this was our 5th space to view. I liked the space and think it will work for our team. Plus, it will be much cheaper. Our group needs a change and I think this will be a better site and give us an infusion of energy. I love new beginnings.
  • Discussed sales efforts of business development initiative for October meeting. We’re making great progress.
  • Had a conference call with a potential client (that I fielded on Friday). We qualified his need and I will begin the proposal tomorrow.

Some things I planned to do I never got to – but will carve out time for those things tomorrow. I love the flexibility that this job offers when it works in my favor!

The sky is light. The weather looks nice. I am on my own tonight with kids. Red is sick; I just received a phone call from daycare. 103 degree fever. She will give her Tylenol but I will be dealing with a clingy child tonight, on my own. Hopefully this illness will not spread to the rest…..

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • Picked everyone up and received stacked hugs from the kids.   It was like dominos.  So cute.
  • Got everyone inside and jumped on dinner.   Thin cut pork chops with peas and leftover pasta.   Big Bro helped me cook.  He seasoned the pork, poured frozen peas into a bowl, added butter when they were done, and also added butter to the pasta.   I think because of these efforts he wound up eating like a champ.   I couldn’t believe it.   He was so well-behaved and easy to deal with.  Very pleasant with me and all the kids.    I’m going to think of more ways he can help in the kitchen and see if this could be a driver of better behavior…
  • Elena served herself peas with a big tablespoon.   I couldn’t believe it.   She then proceeded to drop the spoon on Red’s head so then I had two girls screaming and crying at the same time.
  • I take Twin Crazy, Twin Husky, and Big Bro to get the mail with me.   Twin Husky makes a run for it and hides behind the neighbor’s bushes.   We all said “bye bye” to him but he still wouldn’t budge.   I came out 30 seconds later to see where he was, and he was still standing there, but this time LAUGHING.   Man that completely backfired on me.
  • I think an entire package of Costco grapes were consumed tonight by all kids after dinner.   I don’t want to be the one changing the diapers tomorrow AM.
  • There was lots of playing, kissing, wrestling, flipping the kids around tonight.   All were very fun – Red was subdued so that was sad.
  • Bedtime routine with Twins went great.   I just tell them it’s time to go up and they both run for the stairs.  They enjoy book time, singing, and kissing each other good-night.
  • Bedtime with the older kids went good too.  We’re getter faster at this.
Today was a pretty good day.   Work was not that crazed, and I feel like I had plenty of quality time with the kids.  The only downfall is the iPad glitch so I need to get on that so I don’t lose my work consistently.
Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

July 28: The whole gang visits pre-school and the frightening goldfish

Daily Journal: July 28

It was great to see the kids this morning since I didn’t get much time with them last night. This morning was a bit out of the ordinary since I was working from home today – so it felt more relaxed and I had extra time with the kids.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Red was busy this morning styling her hair with curly control spray. She can only manage one part of her head though, and refused to let me help her with the rest. So, one part of her head looked cute with ringlets and the other part (the majority) looked like Einstein hair.
  • Red was a bit cranky/needy today. She had various melt-downs over breakfast, a toy broom (I think one of her first fights with Twin Husky), getting changed, …… ….. ….. I felt like I was being patient with her but lost it when she started screaming about her jacket and how she DIDN’T WANT THAT ONE… and she DIDN’T WANT THOSE SHOES…. and then SHE wanted to zip the jacket. I honestly couldn’t help it at that point and raised my voice with her. “You need to snap out of it!”
  • Twin Crazy was busy picking up pieces of rug to give to me as trash. She was also busy taking out thermoses to help us pack lunch (we didn’t really need them though). “Thank you sweetie!”
  • Twin Husky was busy walking up and down the stairs. This became problematic though when he started to do this with the toy broom (refer to fight with Red, mentioned above)
  • Big Bro asked for another bagel for the ride to pre-school. [Note: I forgot it and found it in the microwave to defrost hours later]
  • Hubby let’s me know that he diapered both Twins upstairs since they followed him up there.
  • I took them off to daycare/pre-school since I was working from home today. On the way to daycare, Red asked if we could all drop Big Bro off first. It took me awhile to figure this out though. Her communication is still a bit difficult to understand. “Do I need to take the lions out of my ears?” I ask. “yes“. Then I pretend I’m pulling a lion out of my ear and roaring. She asks me to do it with the other ear. I do. She repeats what she is trying to say. I then understand. So we deviate from our normal routine and we all go to drop off Big Bro. The drop off for Big Bro with all the kids was AWESOME.
    • We were all together trampling around in the pre-school, and Red had a chance to look at the “classroom” where she may go in September. I really think it will be a better environment for her compared to where she is now [topic for another post I suppose].
    • We looked around at the room and it was so cute with the creative materials, planting projects, and a fish tank. We talked about the fish a lot to the Twins and I made the motions with my hand of a fish swimming like I do at book-time; Twin Husky LOVED the fish, Twin Crazy was scared shitless of the little fish.
    • I received A LOT of stares at the pre-school walking around with this group – Twins still in pajamas, Twin Husky with thumb in mouth…. not that many families in this city have so many kids so our family is a bit of sight.
    • We successfully dropped of Big Bro but then I had some problems getting the kids in the mini-van fast enough. Twin Husky made a run for it and ran into the middle of the parking lot but I was 1/2 a second behind him. Man he’s fast.

All four at pre-school

  • The drop off for Red, Twin Crazy, and Twin Husky went just fine. Twin Husky ran in there like he was on a mission. It smelled good in there and I was starved. How can I get this woman to feed me once in awhile?
I got back to the house and began to eat everyone’s leftover breakfast. Literally right off of the highchair trays and tables. Sliced peaches, yogurt, strawberries. I made a pot of coffee for the working day at home. Today I will focus on:
  • working with analyst on whitepaper; going to the client’s office to work with them on the draft
  • business development on two separate large-scale initiatives for our firm
Highlights of My Working Day:
  • I had my colleague meet me at my house so we could review / edit the draft deliverable for our client meeting later that AM.
  • We then had our client meeting face-to-face; there’s a bit of restructuring of the content but the major pieces are all there. We re-grouped afterwards and I think she is set to run with it
  • On the drive back to my house, I decide to stop at the food store to pick up stuff for dinner – a whole chicken, broccoli, baguette, and orzo. I also pick up some other stuff while I’m there. I get home and run the dishwasher since we have no utensils to eat the dinner I am planning.
  • Work on graphics for whitepaper, answer emails, set up business development discussion for a potential project we will be proposing on. Organized my day for tomorrow. I completely did not accomplish anything for the other initiatives, so I’ll just have to push that to tomorrow. I’ll likely go into the office tomorrow since my powercord for my new iPad is there and I’m expecting a package.
I’m here now with the smell of roasted chicken… you would think that I would be relaxed from this day, but I’m in fact a bit tense. I’m anxious about the deliverable and also the work that I didn’t get to today…. It’s so easy for me to get wound up over those things. That’s when I think I’m in the wrong profession since there is always pressure to be working/delivering on something. There really is no downtime.
I’m also hoping the new mother’s helper will show up tonight. There’s a load of wash in the washing machine that’s been there a few days and now it stinks. Maybe I’ll have a drink tonight with dinner. I think I need it.
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • Pick up Big Bro. The first thing he asks is “What’s for dinner?” I proudly reply “Chicken”. He immediately starts to whine and say how he doesn’t like chicken and how he wants pizza instead. F! He pretends to be mad at me so I slightly swerve the van back and forth to make him laugh. We keep doing this until we reach Red and the Twins.
  • Picking up Red and Twins is always awesome. They run to me laughing and squealing. I have three kids running to me and I love it.
  • On the ride home we blast disco – Twins have hair flowing in the air and the kids are all laughing at me dancing. “Good times… these are the good times….”
  • Now running around cutting broccoli and boiling water and rushing Red to the toilet.
  • Hubby and Red start a “cupcake” project with muffin mix from Trader Joe’s
  • Meanwhile, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were upstairs, by themselves, quiet……. apparently they were emptying toothpaste tubes (and eating some), playing in the toilet, and rolling out toilet paper….. laughing the whole time.
  • Everyone ate like champs. Hubby and I drank red wine like champs. 🙂 Because of everyone’s food performance we all had muffins. We ate up the pan.
  • Big Bro and Red were great big siblings tonight — feeding the twins with muffins and taking care of them; helping them
  • We talked about the pre-school room for Red; and the goldfish that Twin Crazy was scared of. Twin Crazy then became extremely anxious and we pulled out the book with the goldfish in it; we talked about the goldfish and how it was OK to be scared.
  • Big Bro played on the computer and came upstairs when his game was done
  • Red put on pajamas all by herself. Big Bro and Red brushed teeth and got ready for bed all by themselves
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky enjoyed singing Twinkle Twinkle and Itsy Bitsy Spider — they are doing all the motions which is awesome
  • Bedtime with Big Bro and Red was spectacular; books were great; kids were great; no crying.
I am so unbelievably happy right now. Maybe I should drink red wine more often? I loved the fact that I had extra time with the kids and everything just seemed to flow; with the exception of one or two breakdowns – it all went well.
Hold on a minute… .Red is screaming now with an issue…. Gotta go!
Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

July 26: On the road again…

Today’s routine was a bit out of the ordinary since I had to drive to two different face-to-face meetings today for work. I had to leave the house by 7:45 AM and not only that, but I actually had to get myself ready and look presentable (e.g., hair and makeup). So, I literally had almost NO time with the kids –

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Red woke up in the middle of the night because she “lost” her two plastic measuring spoons in bed. Why do we let them bring toys into bed? Hmmm. Sounds like a topic I should poll our group on.
  • they ate well because of Chocolate Tuesday
  • Twin Husky wanted out of the high chair. He wants to move and explore in the AM
  • Twin Crazy was in her high chair, COVERED with blueberry yogurt (self-feeding). Literally all over her hands, face, YUCK but so cute. I think she realized that I was very hesitant to be too close to her and she was in a very anxious mood towards me the rest of the AM.

Twin Crazy goes crazy over blueberry yogurt

  • I was rushing – trying to help Hubby get things organized for his drop offs; I made a huge cup of coffee in the Tervis Tumbler
  • Said goodbye to everyone — they each came over for a hug and a kiss, even Big Bro (melted my heart…. he is still innocent and will go out of his way to get a hug from mommy). Twin Crazy was still very anxious. I feel like i did not hug her enough this AM so I’ll need to focus on that tonight.
  • I drove out to my meeting, got a big lost (thanks map quest) but realized it when I started driving by cows and the road dead-ended. I made the meeting in plenty of time.

Highlights of My Working Day:

  • Business development meeting went extremely well. We are partnering to potentially bring a product to market and we had a very productive meeting. I was an active participant and feel good about my contributions. The Head of Marketing there is a woman and through small talk I found out that she is also a mother of twins. Instant connection. YES\!! And then the pictures came out (which I had in my bag for a separate meeting with another mother of four). I honestly have no problem “pimping out” my kids for business development/sales/client relationship building. I’m always talking about stories and using my situation as an icebreaker when appropriate.
  • Grabbed lunch at In and Out Burger. Double cheeseburger, with fries, soda, AND a chocolate milkshake. It was outrageous.
  • Drove to city to pick up a co-worker; drove to a different sub-rub for a different business development meeting. The client is also a mother of four. Her kids are older than mine and are spread farther apart, but still I need to pick her brain on how she manages and will obviously share the group. We organized the project, set up a plan, deliverable and timeline. We’ll be meeting with her again on Thursday. I need to craft an email to her that specifies the budget we have to work with and the deliverable promised to her. The budget is tight, but there are other projects like this in the pipeline so we want to invest in this one and position ourselves well for follow on work with her.
  • After the meeting we drove back to my place. We quickly read through all materials and crafted the storyline for the white paper that we will be drafting. It feels like a good outline. The consultant will start fleshing out the content tomorrow for my review so we are prepared for Thursdays’s meeting. I used my new iPad to craft the outline and easily emailed it to both of our work emails. I sent out some emails confirming our work for the whitepaper and the fee.
  • Tomorrow will be a big day because of the Executive Presentation for my last project. I need to go through that tonight and in the AM so that I’m well prepared. I will be doing the majority of the presenting.

What to do for dinner? I’m sitting at home now so I should start to organize that. I’m thinking steak or pork. Let me check the freezer. I can’t wait to see my kids tonight. I owe them a lot of hugs and kisses.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I picked up Big Bro and then met Hubby at the ferry terminal. Big Bro decided to go with Hubby to house to start dinner. I went solo to pick up Red, Twin Crazy, and Twin Husky.
  • Kids run to me during pickup and I absolutely love it. “Mama mama mama mama”. And then they get side-tracked with a rock or leaf or something. How cute.
  • We played lots of tickling games tonight. Big Bro would sit on my ankles and tickle my feet. Same thing with Red.
  • All ate well
  • Twin Husky tumbled down four stairs — it was OK. He is pretty rough and the stairs have rugs. He was more scared than anything. He stopped crying after 20 sec.
  • Twin Husky and Twin Crazy started fighting over an indoor tricycle which caused a lot of problems tonight
  • Twin Husky was the first to start to meltdown so we started bedtime routine with the twins. Twin Crazy kept dumping her sippy cup milk on the rug — on purpose. She looked at me with an evil eye when I said “NO!!!! No milk for [Twin Crazy]!!!” She definitely got mad at me. She refused to listen to books and was stomping around. She has a temper.
  • Big Bro was giving us a hard time with going pee-pee. I didn’t feel like playing his games so I left him on the bathroom floor “to sleep”. Hopefully he is in his bed by now, AFTER going pee. Otherwise we will certainly be woken up in the middle of the night because of his accident.
I feel like today was a bit out of balance for me; but I still don’t feel like I got much work done. Too much driving everywhere. I’ve found that commuting really sucks out a good chunk of the day (which is why I like using that time now to write). I’m going to have to catch up on a lot of things in the office tomorrow, after our presentation.
I also feel like I didn’t get great quality time with my kids. They were either too cranky or I just didn’t have the time with them. I’ll hopefully get more hugs from them tomorrow.
Till tomorrow –
– Mama K
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