November 28: Lovely rain


Today was a good day of rain with me working from home and then reuniting with the kids.

  • Woke up to the rain; looked outside at the yard and the trees and fell in love with this house again
  • Got ready for work which meant comfy clothes and slippers.   Working by the fireplace with Cocoa who kept me company while she ate and played all day.
  • Work was good.  Conference calls.  Client follow ups.   A good day.

  • Went to pick up Red, Twin Crazy, and Twin Husky early because of a doctor appointment later that day.   Bad move.  All had interrupted naps which caused problems later.  BUT – the reunions were priceless.  I hugged Red for I think 5 minutes non-stop just outside of her classroom; Twin Husky woke up to see me and grabbed my nose and hugged me.  Twin Crazy couldn’t stop yelling “Mommy”, “Mommy”, “Mommy” even though I begged her to whisper since her other classmates were sleeping.
  • I took a conference call on the way, during, and after Big Bro’s pick up.   I love “mute”.
  • We went to the pediatrician for Big Bro’s wellness visit.  The kids played great in the waiting room.  Big Bro was awesome during the visit.  The doctor mentioned that he is doing really good at being dirty.   How embarrassing.
  • The kids got to pick from a trunk full of crap toys – these crap toys really caused me issues when we got home; kids were tired and cranky, and these crap toys I’m sure were made in China and self-destructed within 2 minutes of play.

  • When we got home Twin Husky helped me with the garbage bins (our thing together).   Red played with Cocoa.  Big Bro did 2 pages of math homework and then went out looking for friends.  No-one was home so he took a shower and then watched some TV as I made dinner.   Twin Crazy and Twin Husky by this point were acting crazy.  No naps kills us.
  • Dinner was fine; dessert was fruit
  • Afterwards I colored with Red, Big Bro played with Cocoa.  And the Twins were going nuts.
  • Booktime was fine; we read a book about divorce and in the story the kid looks up to the moon when he misses the other parent.  I said that’s what I do too…. in fact that’s what I did the night before.  The kids were intrigued by this.  I showed them the photograph that I took… a big, full moon with little clouds scattered everywhere that picked up the moonlight and actually looked like lace… I took a photo and showed it to them tonight.   I asked them that whenever they miss me at night they should look up to the moon because I am doing that too.  And whenever they miss me by day, they should look up to the sky because I am doing that too.

I wish it were that easy.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

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October 25: Rain, hot, cold


It is the end of a Thursday, one that I shared with my kids. I love working part-time. Twin Crazy had a fever last night so we did not sleep well. I was excited since I used my heating system in the house for the very first time. It is very cool. Programmable for different sections of the day. I am new to all of this. I love owning this home and being able to set the heat at whatever temperature I feel is appropriate for the kids and me.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Nutella “Chocolate Thursday”. The kids were pumped. Of course Twin Husky and Twin Crazy needed to spread the chocolate by themselves.
  • It was raining outside. It feels like fall. Foggy, raining. My grass is turning brown to green.
  • On the ride we saw a huge amount of pigeons on the electrical lines. I don’t think we’ve ever seen so many. Big Bro said that they need to put up more lines so that the birds could have more room for their “meeting”. Twin Husky called it a “party”. We made it in time for Big Bro’s drop off. Drop off for Red went much better this week. I think it is easier for her when Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are with us during the drop off. Afterwards, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were playing with chairs and kitchen sets and climbing structures at school. It was hard to get them out of there. Twin Crazy was talking about how her “vagina hurts” in front of everyone which made me laugh and also indicated to me that she needed to take a bath.
  • On the ride back Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”. I love that they are in a proper daycare environment where they are learning these things. Twin Husky was fully potty trained his first week of being there.
  • I took them to the library in my neighborhood so we could return some borrowed DVDs. We got there too early so we talked about flowers, looked at worms, and they balanced on low walls around the bushes and flowers and had a great time. Once the library opened, we went in and they each returned one of the DVDs with the automatic return center, where they put the book/DVD in and it scans the bar-code. They loved it.
  • We went back to my place and took baths. I pulled out “new” (hand me downs from a neighbor) bath toys that the kids loved. A watering can, Dora and Boots, pots with spouts. Twin Husky needs to shampoo his own hair by himself. Afterwards he wanted to get dressed in a bathing suit top and a bathing suit bottom since they are very soft and silky.
  • Lunch and naps!
  • While the kids took naps, I had a conference call and sent out some emails to prospective clients.

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Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • I swept the kids up and drove in to pick up Big Bro and Red.  It was hot outside.  We were early so Twin Crazy and Twin Husky had fun playing in the playground while we waited. They both liked the swings. Twin Husky liked the play structure and the structure where you throw a ball in… but we didn’t have a ball with us so he was throwing his Tiger. It was very, very cute.
  • Twin Crazy was not feeling well by this point and felt feverish to me – and it was hot outside in general so I’m sure she felt like crap. She was very cranky. We grabbed Big Bro and fled to Red. Pick up was fast since Twin Crazy was feverish. I told Red that I was going to buy her shoes today, but asked her if it was OK if we did that tomorrow since Twin Crazy was sick and needed medicine. She was agreeable.
  • When we got home Big Bro was sleeping in the back seat. I gave Twin Crazy medicine. It was cold outside.  I turned the fireplace on. Red and Twin Husky were playing with LeapPads. I was holding Twin Crazy to comfort her and check her fever. She felt good in my arms.
  • Big Bro woke up; the medicine kicked in and Twin Crazy was happy. The kids opened up a care package from my mom with Halloween cards, “fans” with candy in the arms, and two baking sets with haunted house brownies and skull cupcakes with brains. We will do these on Sunday.
  • Red and Twin Crazy were busy with scissors and cutting out pictures out of magazines.
  • Dinner was fast and good.
  • After dinner, we colored together while I also did laundry.

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I read to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky and put them to bed. Then Red, solo. And then Big Bro. I’m not sure if they like reading all of them together (then they get to hear 4 books) or if they like the one-on-one time. I think it depends on their mood. I just need to remain flexible with them.

I loved today. It was a great way to spend my time after the intensity from work at the beginning of the week.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

October 19: A good friday


Today was unusual. Big Bro did not have school. So we all had a “home” day at my home and LOVED it.

Highlights:

  • Woke up to Twin Husky (as usual) and cuddled in bed. Red came in with Cocoa (guinea pig).
  • Breakfast included the fireplace, oatmeal, home-made pancakes, and bread and butter (their new favorite).
  • Bikes outside; kids were in a great mood. Halloween costumes were on again. I showered while they had fun.
  • We went to Target to return some lightbulbs and get the right size. They loved the escalator ride. I loved that they know about the “list” and that they didn’t even waver towards any toys or ANYTHING else since it was not on our “list”. We were in and out in 5 minutes. On the escalator down, Twin Crazy had a spill and hurt her knee which fouled things up. Red was left up top, scared, but I asked her to hold tight and I’ll come back for her. Big Bro stayed with Twin Husky at the bottom and I carried Twin Crazy up the escalator again and we rescued Red. The girls were now laughing.
  • We went to the library afterwards. The kids picked out books almost immediately and 2 DVDs too; Big Bro checked out the books by himself with the bar-code reader. Red decided she wanted to be “old school” and go to the librarian to check out her books.
  • We went to the playground afterwards and the kids had fun climbing on trains, swinging, going down slides, and scaling structures.
  • We had a great lunch;
  • Twins were great taking their naps. Big Bro watched a Tinkerbell DVD while Red and I colored.
  • We had a delivery from Amazon – a guinea-pig play pen. I think she likes it. The kids do at least.
  • There was another delivery – the Buzz Lightyear t-shirt for Twin Husky to go with his blow-up wings. He was psyched.
  • Big Bro went over to a neighbor’s house to play Legos.
  • The rest of us were at home riding bikes, sweeping leaves, and decorating the house for Halloween.
  • Before you knew it, it was time for me to take them to co-parent’s. It turned dark and foggy on the way. As did my mood. So typical.

I spent other times during the day on email and on the phone with my office. A big meeting is next week that I will be leading; the heavy lifting all has been done. Now it’s just getting there, being smart, connecting with my clients, trying to “sell” membership to two different guest organizations, and facilitating 1 1/2 days of meetings and speakers. I am not concerned at all for this – I’m actually looking forward to it.

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After dropping off the kids I needed to sit in the ferry parking lot with the car (and heat) on and cry. There are so many things about all of this that are so unfair. After I let it out I got back on the road. I felt much better as soon as I got on the highway and got closer to my house. I pulled up to the house and saw the decorations hanging from our trees and I couldn’t help but smile. I love it here. I felt so much better as soon as I pulled up the driveway. I came inside with a fresh perspective. I made a great dinner of sauteed brussell sprouts, baby kale, leftover rice, and some Guinness poured in. It was amazing. And drank the rest of the Guinness. Yes, feeling much better now. So much better in my own space, with my own things, and with memories of each of my kids with so much joy here.

I can not wait until this divorce is finalized. Being entwined with him is damaging. I know that there will be better days for me ahead. This is a bump in the road but hopefully this bump will not last for long.

Have a great weekend everyone –

– Mama K

October 18: Are you kidding me??!?!?


It was a reasonably good Thursday because of the kids; but the day sucked due to the divorce. I need to be done with this already – I am soooo over it.

Highlights of the Day:

  • I of course woke up to Twin Husky climbing into my bed. He is like a living alarm-clock. His routine is so predictable.
  • Chocolate Thursday! Kids were helping themselves and spreading their own Nutella on their tortillas. We were running a bit late.
  • Out of the driveway I ran over my side lawn and got stuck. One neighbor and one stranger walking down the street helped to push me out. It was pretty funny when my bumper almost got pulled off of my car. It’s just a piece of metal.
  • Drop off for Big Bro was fine; Drop off for Red was TERRIBLE. Lots of hugs, clinging to legs, tears. This happens every Thursday now. I hate it.
  • I took Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to a science museum in a closeby neighborhood. They had a great time playing with balls/air, floating things/air, tumbling, riding bikes with square wheels, doing puppet shows, etc. etc. etc. They really had a great time as did I.

It was an early pick up day for Big Bro from school. So at 12:30 we picked him up, and then Red. We headed back to my place and had a great time.

  • We painted fingernails.
  • Got the mail, watered the plants front and back
  • Dressed in Halloween costumes
  • Had a smoothie snack outside on the steps
  • Twins took a bath, I gave Twin Husky a haircut (he looks very handsome)
  • Had some neighborhood kids over to play
  • Played with Cocoa
  • Ate a fast dinner outside with our new patio furniture
  • Cleaned up, read books, scratched backs, tickled and hugged and said lots of “I love you”s.

In between all of this were emails and phone calls/ conference calls for work. Both related to the big meeting next week, and a new client project that we will likely bid on. It was great from a work perspective even though it was my day off.

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In between all of this also were emails and phone calls from co-parent related to the divorce. He wants to be reimbursed for his out of pocket healthcare expenses – is still on my health plan. Are you kidding me?????? I need to be rid of this. I want to move forward but he keeps holding me back. I can not wait to be free of this. I have never met such a cheap man before in my life. He would fight you for a roasting pan, believe me, he is fighting me for ours and the majority of our wedding gifts.

Ok, now that’s off my chest, I breathe deep and let it pass. I am in my own home now. And my children are sleeping happily in their rooms. They ate well tonight. They had two different houses of neighborhood friends come over. They are clean. They were playing with each other and the girls were laughing and playing tonight like best friends.  I received a TON of hugs from them and lots of good conversation with each of them tonight.  I look at them in their eyes when they talk to me and they are able to finish their sentences and thoughts with me and get a reaction from me.   I drank good, cheap wine tonight.  I have a guinea-pig who is running around her cage right now and who kisses Red non-stop and obviously loves Red the best.  The crickets are chirping. And work is going well. So I really can’t complain. I’m moving forward and am ready for what is ahead and I am hopeful that it will be wonderful and worth the journey.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

October 10: The colors of Halloween


I love Wednesdays. For many reasons – first, I get to work from home in the AM and then in the early afternoon I get to see my kids. Today was an even bigger day. I have not seen them since Friday night – so it had been quite a long time since we’ve been together. It was a GREAT day.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I woke up late, drank coffee, ate breakfast. I put the fireplace on since it was chilly. I set up my computer and work in my living room. I was so comfortable and so at ease that I was smiling from ear to ear. I got a lot of work done…
  • I’m trying to start up another forum and put an Agenda together for that.
  • I am thinking through the launch of yet another forum, and am getting consultants help me with background research on the companies to target.
  • I followed up with feedback from my last forum and we received more responses. Terrific feedback on the event and on me personally, which I am stoked about. I lead a session and at this point it is the highest rated out of all – plus lots of good commentary about the event, speakers, and how it was orchestrated. This is a direct reflection on my work and I am so pumped.
  • I continued to get ready for the next forum in two weeks time – following up on surveys, etc.
  • I packed up snacks for the kids, ate a cheese stick, and hit the road.

 

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Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • I loved playing AC/DC “Dirty Deeds” on my way to the kids. I rolled down the window and turned the volume WAY up.
  • I got there a bit early – actually 1 hour early. My mistake. Got the timing wrong. So, I used the time to go Halloween shopping at a second-hand store and bought TONS of stuff; decorations for the house, costumes for me, costumes for the kids. I love Halloween.
  • I stopped at a car mechanic and made an appointment for tomorrow.
  • I had a conference call that got botched since the other parties were completely unorganized and missed the call. We will have to try again tomorrow, which I’m not thrilled about.
  • I picked up Big Bro and we got his bike. He remarked that Red will be upset if he has his bike but she does not have hers. So he said that “we should not ride bikes when we get home that way [Red] doesn’t get upset.” OMG I thought it was so cute how he was considering her feelings.
  • Big Bro and I went food shopping for guinea pig food, cream for home-made ice cream, chicken, fruit, and bread. I love the one on one time with him.
  • Pick up for Red was sweet. The teachers commend her writing skills. I’m proud of her. Pick up for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky went fine. They ran into my arms. The best feeling in the world…
  • On our way home we talked about how I made some changes at the house (renovated a closet into toy shelves) and also bought some new things for the guinea pig. We talked about Halloween and the different costumes. They were really excited to see the stuff that I got as well as the stuff that I have stored.
  • We got home and pulled out Halloween gear. Twin Husky is thrilled with the Buzz Lightyear blow-up wings. Big Bro is excited about a Star Wars costume I found for him. Red is excited about a Tinker Bell dress. Twin Crazy was just acting crazy and I’m not sure what she will be… but there are lots of choices for her.
  • Big Bro went over to his new friend’s house to play Legos. Twin Husky was busy showing off his Buzz Lightyear wings to the neighbors. He was getting embarrassed and sucking in his lips. So cute.
  • Red, Twin Husky and Twin Crazy helped me to pull the garbage bins up the driveway. Red did one on her own and she wants that to be “her job” for now on.
  • I cooked dinner as the kids set the table outside. They wanted to sit at the “kid table” (even me) which was fine. They set the entire table by themselves which was very helpful.
  • We ate – Twin Husky still had his Buzz Lightyear wings on.
  • We heard kids from the house in back of ours, so we went up our hill to meet them. Two girls ages 6 and 4. Apparently there is a courtyard where they live with lots of kids there. I’m thinking that the fence I get should have a gate on it so the kids can have access to that side of the neighborhood too. There are kids in all directions over here, all at young ages. I AM PUMPED. The family seemed really nice.
  • All kids helped with dinner clean up and dessert (pudding) preparation. At dusk the colors in the backyard were STUNNING so I quickly got the kids together for some photos. The cooperated because they knew their dessert was at risk.
  • Big Bro helped Red with a “calendar” project she wants to do.   Creating the numbers and squares and then setting up the calendar with the days of the week for the month.   He asked if he could help and she gladly accepted his help.  We read Halloween books tonight.   The girls were acting silly at bedtime.  Sisters.
  • I told each of the kids at bedtime the things they did during the day that made me so happy … listening, helping, thinking about each others’ feelings, the big hugs and kisses, etc. I want each of them to feel loved.

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I had an amazing day. The kids are getting to be so much fun. There was little crying or fighting tonight. Things fell into place with us. I’m looking forward to Halloween and the days leading up to it. It is a really special time of year for me.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

October 5: Home with three


It’s Friday and the end of the week.  Today is my day to be home with the kids.  Co-parent is taking the kids for a full weekend, so I will not see them again until Wednesday afternoon. What to do between now and then? Relax and get some “me” time in, I suppose.

Highlights of the Day:

  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are sick. So I wound up to both of them in my bed this morning. They all got ready so quickly and helped with their own breakfasts. I love this. The mornings are getting very easy with them. They love the independence and doing things for themselves. The fact that the Twins are potty trained with few accidents helps as well. They like doing the same routine as the “big kids” and I love directing all four them of them now as equals.
  • Twin Crazy picked out her clothes and she wanted to wear a long sleeve black shirt with light jeans. She looked soooooooooooooo New York City to me. Upper East side. I was calling her my “city girl” all day today.
  • Big Bro decided to put some finishing touches on his “house” made from an Amazon box. He wanted to draw more things to make it more like a house. He drew a garden with corn, broccoli, strawberries, and apple trees. I love the fact that he connects the garden with the concept of home. That’s meaningful for me, too.
  • The ride was fine; we talked about fog, made a game where we had to catch up to certain cars on the highway, I sang to AC/DC for a bit, we saw Twin Crazy’s “castles” in the city and they had their lights on for the fog.
  • I decided to “steal” Red from daycare today since it would be awhile since I saw her. She is the most emotionally needy of the four, I think. She had a great time with us. During the day she asked me if this is what we always do together while she is at daycare – if we go anywhere. I told her honestly that no, we really just hang around the house and play while I also do things around the house. She had a great time today with her siblings and me.
  • The kids were very creative today. There was lots of cutting with scissors, coloring, and doing “paperwork”. I read to the Twins several books. Snack time was the “yogurt bar” with three different kinds of yogurt and fruit that is quickly going bad. Red got lots of time in with Cocoa.
  • I wanted to start my “renovation” of the office to organize the kids bins of toys and redo the entire closet. While I attempted to do this they played kitchen and Red also did “work” at her desk. I played music from my Apple and danced with Twin Husky and then Twin Crazy. They love this. Or maybe I love it more.
  • I caught Twin Crazy “reading” a stack of books outloud by herself in the backyard. She said that now since she read her books she was ready for a nap. The kids played with tricycles and scooters as I got lunch ready. They were playing follow the leader and singing songs together. Twin Husky was on a two wheeled scooter and was really good at balancing.
  • While the Twins took naps Red was very anxious to do something “just with” me. We made a calendar together. She drew the boxes and the numbers in the boxes, cut the boxes out, and then I taped them back together in calendar format. It was a project that took awhile which was nice. It looked and felt like rain outside so we did this together in the living room with the fireplace on. I loved it.
  • Red got more quality time with Cocoa so I think she’s feeling sufficiently loved. Hopefully enough from me and Cocoa to last her for the next several days.
  • Co-parent picked up Big Bro from school and swung by my house to pick up the rest on their way to their weekend getaway. I was grateful for two drives back and forth that I did not have to do. I am in relaxation mode now.

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After they left I slept for 2 hours. I did not sleep well the past few nights because of sick kids. This weekend will be a lot of time alone for me. I’m struggling with what to do. Maybe I’ll go to the movies along with house stuff – I need to venture out of this house and throw myself out there. I’m ready for that.

Have a great weekend everyone –

– Mama K

Random Thoughts: Parent Volunteering


During my day at work today I received a lot of emails.  Many were boring.  Many made me react like “Ugggh.”.   Some were mildly amusing, several made me laugh out loud (note:  I am getting my laugh back…. YEAH!!).   But I received one message today that really, honestly got me so excited and happy yet anxious and fearful all at the same time….. a request by Big Bro’s teacher to come to his classroom and volunteer my time during “Science Time”.

Of course I responded positively almost as soon as I received this email.   This is what I’ve been dreaming about.  Having the flexibility with work that would allow me to not only care for my youngest kids, but also get a glimpse into the lives of my older children while at their schools.   I find it strange transitioning from a mother who knows EVERYTHING about her kid (e.g., when last fed, burped, pooped) to a mother with an older child in school, where they are embarking on their own lives.  So much is unknown to us, to me.   And this is a good thing.   My son is his own person.   Why should I know everything that he has going on in a day?

Photo source:   artsedge.kennedy-center.org

Anyway, I have the opportunity tomorrow (Wednesday) to get a glimpse – 1 hour – of classroom time with him in 1st grade.   I’m so lucky!   And scared, I think.   The Type A personality in me would like to know what the subject matter is so I can prepare in advance.   (kidding.)

This has got me wondering about all of you… what kinds of reactions you have with volunteering and if you have the opportunity (or desire) to volunteer at your kids’ schools —

Have some fun and take the polls please!

What other thoughts can you share ladies?   What advice can you give me on “Science” in the 1st grade??!?!?!??!!??!   🙂

Thanks for listening –

– Mama K

September 27: Decompressing


Thursday is my day off and I needed it after this week – one big meeting down, one and possibly two more to go.

Highlights of the Day:

  • Chocolate Thursday.  Big Bro helped me make the breakfast for the kids while I packed his lunch.
  • We got out in time, Big Bro and Red drop offs were fine.
  • At home, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky helped me with the garden, played with water and rocks, played with a toy umbrella, and rode bikes.   We also put away the garbage bins that were left on the street.   We had a snack and then I took them food shopping.  I scooped up a lot of things on sale.  They helped me remember things on the list.
  • We had a fast lunch and then 1 hour nap.   I scooped them up from their beds into their car seats to pick up Big Bro and Red.  This is really the only way to do it… gypsy living with them on the road with their naps just does not work for us.   And putting them down too early is not good.  I don’t want to be late anymore with Big Bro pick ups; so for now on I’ll just start their naps and then finish them off on the drive down for the bigger kids.
  • At home, we got the mail, rode bikes in the back yard.  I put a chicken in the oven.   We delivered chocolate chip cookies to the new neighbors across the street.  Big Bro is happy that the 5 year old boy likes Ninjago legos.
  • The kids then decided to decorate their room with more wall stickers.   Everyone worked together.  Big Bro worked on the top bunk to put the stickers on the wall up high, and also pulled off the big stickers and dropped them down like raindrops to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky below.  Red was busy with her own roll of paper of stickers.  It was amazing to see them working together.  I did not even initiate any of it.
  • I pulled some weeds and fed the chickens with the kids.   There was more bike riding.
  • We ate dinner outside and it was great.
  • Poor Twin Husky tripped and fell, and bit his lip.  There was a lot of blood but he is fine.  His lip is huge.  Which is actually funny since he has huge lips to begin with.
  • We watched a movie and I colored with Red – Hello Kitty.

I had a great day with the kids.   It was beautiful weather outside and I enjoyed the sun.   I sent a few work emails but did not really have a care in the world today.   It was wonderful.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

Staying Sane: Take it in and celebrate the Now


How many times have you heard, “Enjoy it, it goes by so fast.”.   And at the time, it is usually when one of the kids is acting up, or maybe if you’re lucky, the kids are acting like angels and you have a quick chance to catch your breath.    With four kids over 6+ years, I’ve heard this more than I would like to admit.   And yes, I get it.   Of course the years go by fast.   I can see it in my skin, my body, my hands.   The way I get tired so easily.    The way I’m starting to forget simple, insignificant things like the names of bands or actresses/actors.  Yes, the years are going by quickly.   We can see it in ourselves and the way we, ourselves, are changing as people.

And it is even more extreme with children.  Yes, we know time is going by fast.  These little people are pushing that fact in our faces every single day.

*****

How is this supposed to make you feel better you ask?  How is this supposed to make you feel more at ease?  Doesn’t this kind of create an anxiety?

Not if you choose to look at it from another angle.   Time does not have to go by so quickly.   Instead of grasping at the past and the now, you can choose to let it unfold and celebrate the people your children are becoming.   Time will come and go, but enjoying the Now and celebrating the Now with them, at least for me, has become an amazing way to feel connected to them and proud and excited for what may lie ahead.

*****

My little girl was born over four years ago and she was a bald baby but had enough hair for me to know that she would be a red-head.   She was my first girl.  Her squeaks as a baby were different than those of her older brother.  She was softer.  She smelled sweeter.  She would point to her crib when I would sing to her at night to let me know that she was ready to go to sleep.   She started laughing early… and most of the time it was while looking up at her big brother, who was trying desperately to interact and play with this little baby.

She grew into her red hair quickly.   ..scaling fire escapes before she could even walk…  throwing her body over the bathtub wall fully clothed so she could jump in with her brother.   Growing into her laugh.  Growing into her excitement and her personality and her body.   Feeling thrilled by standing by herself.    And taking those first steps.

And now my little girl is over four years old.   And she still looks up to her big brother.  He teaches her to push herself, and her red hair, feisty personality fuels this desire.   She is so fragile yet so strong, at the same time.  She is caring, intuitive, empathetic, silly, and so so energetic.   She is an artist.   She feels deeply.   And she laughs loudly.   And she takes risks.   And now she rides a bike by herself…. years before her brother did.  This does not surprise me.   The glow in her eyes and the smile across her face is too good to be true.   She is my Red.

*****

So yes, time does go by quickly.   We hear it from everyone and of course this is something we already know.   We do not need to be told this simple truth.  We see it daily through our children.

I choose to spend the Now with the kids and celebrate with them.  Laugh with them.   And of course cry with them.  With the new skills our children learn come the scraped knees, the fear of the dark, the frustration of learning something different.   But it is FEELING this with them that is so, so good.   Such passion.  And how they grow, and how they learn, and how wonderful it is to be a part of it and to see it unfolding right before your eyes.

I choose to not fear that time will go by fast.  I choose not to let the craziness of four kids and work get the best of me, and what I believe are the best years of my life.   I choose to stop and feel the Now with the kids and appreciate the time that I have with them and make as much time as I can with them.   Knowing that I’m doing this makes me happier and excited for what is left to come.

Have a great week everyone –

– Mama K

 

 

June 21: On the road, again


Thursday not working! Unfortunately I spent most of the day driving.

Highlights of the morning:

  • The girls woke up first and we sat together in the living room reading books, and then sitting with the guinea pig, still nameless. Red was holding her as Twin Crazy tried to feed her.
  • The girls wanted an activity and wanted to color. I let them know the file cabinet drawer where all of their paper and crayons are. Red found a bag of small colored squares that looked interesting and pulled them out…. she started sorting them by color and Twin Crazy started to help her.
  • They then went on with their coloring activity.
  • Out came Twin Husky with his hair sticking up. He immediately went over to the guinea pig’s cage to say good morning.
  • The three ate cereal like champs. Out came Big Bro half dressed. He wanted to spend time with the guinea pig too.
  • We headed out the door – I’ve been instructed to take Big Bro and Red to daycare even on my days off (don’t get me started….). So off we go…. slowly…. in traffic. By the time we got there it was 10:10 AM and I didn’t know that Big Bro had a field trip (Karate) starting at 10:00 AM. I wish I knew that so that I would have been there earlier. Red’s drop off was fine.
  • Me and Twin Crazy and Twin Husky headed back to my place. We got stuck in traffic again on the way back. Twin Crazy was crying and wanted out of her car seat. We started to sing Old McDonald’s Farm which seemed to work for a bit.
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    Highlights of the Afternoon:

  • The kids found beads and sunglasses and we had fun dressing up. We read books. We cuddled on the couch. I couldn’t believe it was time for lunch. I made burrito ingredients and had fun watching the kids build their own burritos. They ate really well.
  • We all napped.
  • As soon as we got up I shoved some cookies in their faces and we headed to the car. I saw that a flower was blooming off of one of my shrubs that I thought was dead.
  • Our first half of the trip was smoothe sailing but I shuddered looking at the other side, backed up with traffic ALL THE WAY towards the city. On our second highway we got stuck in traffic. This did NOT make Twin Crazy happy. We talked about the diggers, the graffiti, the trucks…. and sang some more.
  • It was great to see Red and Big Bro. Apparently Big Bro hit a homerun this afternoon. I love hearing that about my big little man.
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    Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I decided to pull over and get some food for the way back, knowing that we would be stuck in traffic. I grabbed grapes and mango juice, and some more tortillas. The snack of grapes and juice disappeared in less than 10 minutes. These kids can EAT. The ride back was much better since all four of them were there and there was much more conversation. We talked about the trains, how I take that train to work, the motorcycles, the clouds, … … …
  • We played with the guinea pig as soon as we got back.
  • I then started to make dinner. As I was cooking I overheard Big Bro teaching Red addition and subtraction. He asked her to do it with her fingers. She was answering his questions correctly. I applauded them for learning together and working together. I love hearing the kids teach each other things. We all have things to learn from each other.
  • We ate dinner and afterwards I went outside to weed. I asked the kids to come outside to play. Big Bro did his “job” of watering the strawberry plants and the trees. Twin Husky wanted to “help” me weed so he had his weeding tool and pushed around the weeds that I gathered. We then collected the green weeds and brought them over to the chickens. That was a BIG hit. The kids loved bringing over the weeds and feeding the chickens. I had kids going back and forth and giving them green icky weeds and they loved it. Big Bro then got into weeding himself, and said that he wanted to do more of this on Sunday. He is way too funny.
  • Twin Crazy pooped her pants so that was a good segue for coming inside.
  • I got the kids ready and read to the girls first on the couch. They were VERY serious about not letting the boys in their room. So of course the boys joined forces and acted silly with each other running in and out of their room. It is really sweet to see them interact with each other now – They are 4 years apart but really starting to interact.
  • I read to the boys next; and then the girls again in their own room. Twin Crazy repeats EVERYTHING that Red says. If Red is too hot, Twin Crazy is too hot. If Red wants water, Twin Crazy wants water. If Red has an itch, Twin Crazy has an itch. Again, so sweet. My little parrot.
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    All kids are asleep now and I hear guinea pig rustling around every now and then. I’m not sure what to do about tomorrow. I have to drop them off at co-parent’s at 6 PM but will have little time with them. I’d like to spend time with them in the AM, drop off Red and Big Bro, and then maybe stay in that area and go to a library or beach or something. Someplace where we can grab a snooze. Then pick up Big Bro and Red and do something. Maybe a museum or the zoo. I just don’t want to spend the whole day driving on the highway and also missing out on my kids. Anything to avoid having to take these toddlers on four trips on two separate highways, in traffic each way. I’ll figure something out tomorrow and will likely pack up the car with extra clothes, food, etc. It will be an adventure.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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