negotiation – Mama In Motion™

I was REALLY having a rough time this morning waking up. I went to bed late last night and the past couple of nights have given me spotty sleep. It’s catching up to me now. I had a really sweet morning though with the kids – some really magical moments that still have me thinking that I have the most wonderful kids in the world.

Highlights of My Morning and Commute:

I showered quickly and threw on jeans. It will be a jeans day in the office today (self-proclaimed). Red, Twin Husky, Twin Crazy were already at the counter eating cereal. I gave each my morning kiss on their head, and we talked about the shape of the cereal. Are these triangles? NO. Are these squares? NO. Are these circles? Yes these are circles. Good. Circles. The kids are very funny when they really exaggerate the “NO’s” to this routine – shaking their heads back and forth. Then for some reason Twin Crazy started talking about monkeys – “Oooo oooo aaahhhh ahhhh”. I asked her where the monkeys were? Outside? She pointed to Twin Husky. Is Twin Husky a monkey? NOOOOOOOOOOOO says Twin Husky shaking his head back and forth. So cute.

I go up to wake up Big Bro and gather the clothes for the day. Big Bro jumps up from his bed, and then proceeds to jump on the bed, straight up and down. He only did it for 10 seconds or so – I asked him if this is his normal wake up routine and he said Yeah, laughing. I laughed too. It was kindof like he was shaking the sleep out of his little body. And then he was ready for the day. Smiling. Awesome.

Big Bro remembered that it was Chocolate Tuesday – so Hubby had a second series of breakfast to get ready. Next I looked all kids were devouring chocolate bagels, chocolate tortillas.

Twin Crazy coming into my room to show me her tortilla with her chocolate on it. She scrapes off the chocolate and asks for “more chocolate please”

I didn’t have my coffee yet but I was trying to help the kids – it looked like they needed some water with all of the bread they were eating so I offered it to them. One of the plastic cups “jumped” out of my hands and there was flying water all over the place. I asked the kids if they saw that and what was that cup doing flying out of my hands? The kids were laughing. I said it was an accident and I didn’t do it on purpose – that it was no problem because I’ll just clean up the mess. I asked if anyone took a “shower” from my spill as a joke and all of the kids said No, seriously. (cute)

Kids still laughing about “Fish Ranch Road” and how we didn’t see any fish on the road from the weekend

Red asking if I can take her to school today since I took Big Bro and Twins yesterday. Then Big Bro gets upset since he had to share his ride with the Twins. These kids are aching for more one-on-one Mommy time. And they are doing great about talking about their feelings (I am really focusing on that now with them)

Red had a breakdown over her clothes; she wanted to wear her butterfly shirt again (it is now her favorite). I was REALLY trying with her but she was being her red-haired fiesty self. One of my tricks was asking if I could take a picture of the butterfly shirt (knowing that I was going to write about this). But then Big Bro came up with something genious. He surprised me. He suggested that maybe she would take off her butterfly shirt if SHE took the picture (IT WORKED). Fist pumps to Big Bro!! I am still smiling at how empathetic he is, and how well we can act as a team – I continuously talk to them about how we have to help each other out – that is what family means; we all need help from time to time and it is our job as family members to help out when we can. These kids get it.

As soon as the rest left and it was just me and Red, her mood lifted considerably. We were talking about my coffee, my keys, jacket…. as I was getting things together she was my cute little side-kick. All smiles. Laughing. It’s amazing how quickly those moods can change. From tears to laughs.

On the ride to her pre-school, Red asked about the “clocks” on the front of the car. I talked to her about them – that they are not clocks, but each of the dials do measure certain things. A clock measures the time. These dials measure how fast the car goes, how hard the engine is working, how much gas we have in the tank, and how hot or cold the engine is. I love these simple conversations with the kids. But even better, I love the questions that they ask. They are VERY inquisitive and I encourage that. I say that is a great way to learn – to ask questions. That is how they learn about the world around them.

Wow. I wrote a lot. I think its because I didn’t get much time with the kids last night. So I always seem to take more in on these mornings… I think I am more apt to pick up on smaller things that I would otherwise overlook.

I am on the ferry now – I will have a busy day. I need to get the proposal off to the client today. I really need to get the conference meeting notes done (from 3 months ago, damn it). I have to follow up with some billing issues. I have loose ends hanging over my shoulder that I need to just bang-out.

And I have a mountain of preparation to do on a personal front. Forensic kind of stuff. Documentation of assets leading up to the birth and ultimate death of a marriage. I’m not looking forward to this at all. Hopefully we treat each other fairly so we can still be good partners for our children in the future.

I remember walking off the ferry and walking to work. The sun was shining and it felt wonderful on my face. I held my head high, closed my eyes, and looked up towards the sun while walking. I was taking it in. The air, the sun, the walk, the motion. The breeze through my hair. I am ready for the day, and feel much stronger than yesterday. Could it really be the result of the dose of the children?

Highlights of My Working Day:

I’m going to keep this part very brief.

I worked on the client proposal and it finally went out!! Yeah!! It would be great to win this for my sales efforts, but the delivery of work scares me. I feel like I have a lot going on and a big client project may complicate things a bit. But I need to win it. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

I had a conversation with a peer about the meeting minutes… He’s not doing them either!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!! Everyone has agreed that they are too detailed, no-one asks for them, and no-one ever has questions with them after they receive them. So why bother??? Yeeeehoooooo!!!!

And alas, I hate to say it, but I was sidetracked a lot today on personal stuff. I got the ball rolling with requests of information I need to obtain; but it needs to be well thought out and complete. I only get one chance at this. I need to make sure I capture the right information and its complete. I have a meeting with my lawyers this week and I want to be extremely efficient at this next meeting. I want to have everything organized for them so that they don’t waste time and therefore keep their charges reasonable.

I almost missed the ferry. I looked down at the clock and it was going to leave in 10 minutes. I have never tried to make the ferry this late before. I freaked. I shut everything down and hauled ass out of the office. On the elevator I took my shoes off, positioned my bag, shoes, and jacket, and then proceeded to RUN full steam ahead to the ferry. I made it just in time! Whew!

Dinner and Bedtime:

I’m on the ferry, and the sun is still shining. My heart is pounding from the run. I sit and catch up with a neighbor. I’m thinking of the kids and also dinner. Chicken?

Pick up from Red was terrific – she ran into my arms and actually jumped up onto my body – all smiles, huge hugs. I LOVE THIS.

We quickly got Big Bro. He looked terrible. He is sniffling all over the place, and his face was all blotchy and red. His poor nose. And his eye was all red and sore from rubbing it. OMG please tell me no it’s not pink-eye. The daycare provider said that he was not himself all day long. 😦

Pick ups for Twin Husky and Twin Crazy were fine. Me and Twin Husky were talking about the beautiful sky. [He repeats, “beautiful sky”]

I run in and get the kids unpacked, shoes and jackets off, and set Big Bro on the couch to watch some TV. We don’t do this often but he needed it the poor guy. Twin Crazy and Red were interested in watching some with him. Twin Husky was interested in exploring, turning off the lights, and helping me cook. Then Twin Crazy and Red started to help me cook. So cute. They were smelling spices and stirring and Red was fully responsible for the vegetables, putting them in the bowl and closing up the bag. We made Tandoori Chicken tonight, which again was a HUGE hit. Big Bro had three platefuls. I was amazed. Big Bro and Red were fighting over who could sit on my lap. They are both lobbying hard for more one-on-one time with me; and getting more aggressive about it.

Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were using children’s knives for the first time. They were soooooooooooooo excited!!!

After dinner we rough-housed and I swung them in circles and we were all falling on the floor laughing. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were busy playing with the kitchen and “eating” ice-cream.

Chocolate milk!!!

Pink eye medicine! Ugggh. Poor guy.

We opened up a package today and it was the kids’ new lunchboxes. Red was thrilled but Big Bro got upset that he didn’t get his backpack yet. Why can’t he ever be satisfied with what we do with/for him? Ugggh. I know he’s sick but this is ridiculous.

Kids went to bed quickly because they were tired and not feeling well. Big Bro found a piece of his work that was thrown out by Hubby in the trash can and he started to flip out. I asked him to talk about it with Hubby when he returned from putting the Twins down. Big Bro asked me to help him. So I did. And Big Bro did great at telling the pieces and I commended him for talking about it with hubby, telling hubby how it made him feel, and then coming up with a solution for the future [Hubby ask Big Bro going forward if its OK to throw away certain items.]

I had a great day. I am feeling much more on my feet. I am tired, but I somehow feel like things will be OK for us. The hardest thing that I will have to go through is helping my children navigate through this now and in the future. It will not end. I will need to make sure these kids are getting what they need and that they are getting the healthiest environment possible given the situation. I will fight for them. And right now I feel ready.

Signing off for now to get some sleep –
Until tomorrow –
– Mama K

I was struggling a bit for a topic for this Sunday’s Staying Sane piece. Not that there isn’t something to write about… just the contrary. The end of 2011… a year of new beginnings with 2012, goals, commitments we are all making to make ourselves and our families happier…. yes, there is a lot going through my mind and I have a lot to write about. But in due course.

What I decided to do is focus on some fun and folly. And also me dropping the ball on cards this year. For friends who receive cards from us faithfully year after year, you will notice, or maybe you have not noticed, that our card this year did not make it out. We tried. Honestly we did. We were lucky to have a calendar put together this year. In fact, I still have some gifts I need to get together. So, don’t take it personally. It’s not you, or your family, we love all of you and we did receive your card, and my how the kids are growing and everyone looks so happy.

OK. Now that that is done, let’s get back to our card that was never sent out. Well, we like to put a photo of the kids in it. And that involves a photo-shoot and stiff garments. So we need to bribe the kids. It started with bribery of some animal house crackers before the photo shoot and the promise for more after the shoot. Now, just imagine trying to wrestle FOUR kids under 5.5 yrs old into itchy clothes, some of which make them look like guido mobsters. And THEN ask them to look happy, look forward, get together, Big Bro you’re doing great, no don’t walk off Twin Husky, come on guys, Red please smile — why are you pouting, try to get together guys, look happy, OK everyone look over here, over HERE, OVER HERE GUYS, I promise we’ll get cookies, why don’t I just go behind the photo drop and you can sit on my lap, etc. And this is what you get:

After about 10 minutes of this, we called off the photo shoot and just hoped that we got something reasonable – didn’t have to be great, just reasonable. I took them all downstairs for their animal crackers. That’s when I came across the M&Ms…. and it hit me. I started to hand them out. The kids started to look energized. Their dark, sullen, tired eyes started to brighten up and they started to look like sweet little picture-book kids with leaps and bounds of energy — even the guidos…..

We turned around and I instructed all kids to get upstairs for Photo Shoot #2, pronto!!! Now just see if you can envision the sight…. four kids in a parade back up the stairs with me following them with our jug of left-over Halloween candy, searching for more of those little M&M packets as I’m running up the stairs behind them.

And then we saw happy kids. Really. All four of them. And they were interacting. And smiling. And giggling. And acting goofy. And feeding off of each other’s energy. And glowing. And this is what we got:

And during this craziness, we got so many great pictures, with ALL of them looking forward, with ALL of them reasonably close to each other, with ALL of them smiling from ear to ear. And in the stream of pictures we took, we captured IT:

So, I am going to keep this M&M thing in my back-pocket in the future. For big occasions. For times when I need cooperation with all four of them. And I think I’m going to keep a jar of them for me, out of sight for little hands to grab as their own.

Happy new year everyone – I hope you take 2012 by storm!

– Mama K

January 10: A new day.

Staying Sane: The holiday card that was never sent, and some M&Ms

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