October 25: Rain, hot, cold


It is the end of a Thursday, one that I shared with my kids. I love working part-time. Twin Crazy had a fever last night so we did not sleep well. I was excited since I used my heating system in the house for the very first time. It is very cool. Programmable for different sections of the day. I am new to all of this. I love owning this home and being able to set the heat at whatever temperature I feel is appropriate for the kids and me.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Nutella “Chocolate Thursday”. The kids were pumped. Of course Twin Husky and Twin Crazy needed to spread the chocolate by themselves.
  • It was raining outside. It feels like fall. Foggy, raining. My grass is turning brown to green.
  • On the ride we saw a huge amount of pigeons on the electrical lines. I don’t think we’ve ever seen so many. Big Bro said that they need to put up more lines so that the birds could have more room for their “meeting”. Twin Husky called it a “party”. We made it in time for Big Bro’s drop off. Drop off for Red went much better this week. I think it is easier for her when Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are with us during the drop off. Afterwards, Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were playing with chairs and kitchen sets and climbing structures at school. It was hard to get them out of there. Twin Crazy was talking about how her “vagina hurts” in front of everyone which made me laugh and also indicated to me that she needed to take a bath.
  • On the ride back Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”. I love that they are in a proper daycare environment where they are learning these things. Twin Husky was fully potty trained his first week of being there.
  • I took them to the library in my neighborhood so we could return some borrowed DVDs. We got there too early so we talked about flowers, looked at worms, and they balanced on low walls around the bushes and flowers and had a great time. Once the library opened, we went in and they each returned one of the DVDs with the automatic return center, where they put the book/DVD in and it scans the bar-code. They loved it.
  • We went back to my place and took baths. I pulled out “new” (hand me downs from a neighbor) bath toys that the kids loved. A watering can, Dora and Boots, pots with spouts. Twin Husky needs to shampoo his own hair by himself. Afterwards he wanted to get dressed in a bathing suit top and a bathing suit bottom since they are very soft and silky.
  • Lunch and naps!
  • While the kids took naps, I had a conference call and sent out some emails to prospective clients.

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Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • I swept the kids up and drove in to pick up Big Bro and Red.  It was hot outside.  We were early so Twin Crazy and Twin Husky had fun playing in the playground while we waited. They both liked the swings. Twin Husky liked the play structure and the structure where you throw a ball in… but we didn’t have a ball with us so he was throwing his Tiger. It was very, very cute.
  • Twin Crazy was not feeling well by this point and felt feverish to me – and it was hot outside in general so I’m sure she felt like crap. She was very cranky. We grabbed Big Bro and fled to Red. Pick up was fast since Twin Crazy was feverish. I told Red that I was going to buy her shoes today, but asked her if it was OK if we did that tomorrow since Twin Crazy was sick and needed medicine. She was agreeable.
  • When we got home Big Bro was sleeping in the back seat. I gave Twin Crazy medicine. It was cold outside.  I turned the fireplace on. Red and Twin Husky were playing with LeapPads. I was holding Twin Crazy to comfort her and check her fever. She felt good in my arms.
  • Big Bro woke up; the medicine kicked in and Twin Crazy was happy. The kids opened up a care package from my mom with Halloween cards, “fans” with candy in the arms, and two baking sets with haunted house brownies and skull cupcakes with brains. We will do these on Sunday.
  • Red and Twin Crazy were busy with scissors and cutting out pictures out of magazines.
  • Dinner was fast and good.
  • After dinner, we colored together while I also did laundry.

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I read to Twin Crazy and Twin Husky and put them to bed. Then Red, solo. And then Big Bro. I’m not sure if they like reading all of them together (then they get to hear 4 books) or if they like the one-on-one time. I think it depends on their mood. I just need to remain flexible with them.

I loved today. It was a great way to spend my time after the intensity from work at the beginning of the week.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

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August 5: Extra time with my pumpkins but still so depressed


Today I was lucky to have some extra time with Red, Twin Husky, and Twin Crazy – their daycare provider had a doctor appointment so I had to bring them in later.   Because of this I took the liberty to work from home.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I got up a big slowly (drank too many beers the night before) but made it to the shower and downstairs in time to organize a few things before the kids were up
  • I took it slow.   There really was no rush since I did not have to take the ferry.   I enjoyed the kids.
  • I had four piles of clothes today, versus the normal two.   This is because daycare usually changes Twin Husky and Twin Crazy into day clothes for us – it makes our morning routine easier that way.  But today, we had four piles which was fun.
  • The kids cooperated with breakfast.   I made a full pot of coffee for my day at home.
  • When it was time to go, I had all kids get ready with shoes etc.  Twin Husky and Twin Crazy both came to me, one by one, to get their shoes on.
  • We dropped of Big Bro at school – he knew we were all coming in but he specifically requested that not everyone come into his classroom.   I agreed to this.  So the plan was to get the siblings set up in the “common room” at pre-school with toys and then privately drop of Tyler.  He was happy with this plan.
  • When I got them out of the van they were all well-behaved and stayed on the sidewalk holding hands.   The group knows to do this, especially if we are in a parking lot or crossing a street.
  • We got inside and the siblings were excited about the toys which were new to them.   Big Bro was happy that he had me to himself for drop off, and that his friends didn’t have to look at a huge group of kids (his kids) as they welcomed him into the room.
  • Red, Twin Husky, and Twin Crazy had a blast at pre-school.  We stayed there for an hour, playing with dolls, legos, plastic animals — playing make-believe in a kitchen area — climbing/sitting/getting down from chairs and doing it again, and again, and again.   They really had fun.
Kids playing with "new" toys at Big Bro's pre-school
  • When it was time to leave they were great.   Again, they stayed on the sidewalk until I shuffled them in the van.
  • We cruised by the library but it wasn’t open yet, so we went home.   Had a blueberry snack, watched our landlord mow our lawn, colored with markers, played with a keyboard, and did a puzzle.    There was only one problem (a BIG one)…. Twin Husky bit Twin Crazy’s finger.   I couldn’t believe it.   We’ve never had a biter.   I reprimanded him with a very harsh tone and he looked down but did not cry.   He took it like a man.   Then about a minute later Red came screaming over to me saying that Twin Husky tried to bite her.   Oh shit.   I can’t deal with this.  Daycare then called at 11:30 so I happily dropped them off.
  • After their drop off I headed to the food store – bought a chicken for dinner and a lot of other stuff.  Picked up a burritos for me for lunch.
I love experiences like this.  It gives me a glimpse of what it is like to be a stay at home mom.   I really had fun.  The kids had fun.  They were so well-behaved, with the exception of the bite incident.   But I was ready to give them to daycare.   I was ready to head home and get some work done.   So I know that I do want to continue to work, but I guess just a bit more time with my kids is all I need to feel more balanced, more happy.
Highlights of my Working Day:
  • I essentially sat on my couch with my feet up and worked on the go-to-market materials for the start-up initiative; we need those materials complete for a progress call next week AND for a client meeting next week.
  • I threw in a load of laundry.  I ran the dishwasher.
  • I booked a flight for a client presentation for next week – we were asked to go and present our findings and recommendations to a much larger audience… essentially all the people who were involved in the internal interview process and they are the ones whose jobs will be impacted as a result of the work.   This meeting by far will be the most stressful of any we’ve had to-date.   I will need to refresh the presentation deck to make sure the tone is proper so as not to offend anyone in the room on that day.
  • I threw the chicken in the oven at 4 PM.   I started to cook some beets.     I set the table.  I got the pajamas ready for the kids.   I confirmed that our Mother’s Helper was planning to show up tonight.   YEAH (there’s a whole pile of clothes to do, and a whole sink of hand-washables for her to attack).
Dinner and Bedtime:
  • I was on my own tonight since Hubby was at a baseball game.    This was fine since dinner was done and I was ready for them.
  • All ate well.   Twins liked the beets.   Big Bro and Red at least tried them.   The chicken was a hit.
  • Afterwards Big Bro and Red watched a movie and ate popcorn (we like to do this on Friday nights).  Twin Husky was having fun rocking back and forth and talking on our rocker.   Twin Crazy had a great time on the slide structure.
  • Pajamas were fun; the Twins were ready.   I got them milk and they took the milk and their blankets over to the stairs.  They were so ready.  Up they went – books, sing a song, kisses, and in their cribs — butts in the air, blankets in hand, thumbs in mouth.   Out.
  • Red and Big Bro were fine with teeth brushing, etc.   They both sat in my lap for two books.  Big Bro looked exhausted and was out within 5 min of getting into bed.
  • Red came out saying that her finger hurt – so I looked at it, found nothing, but offered her a band-aid.  She proceeded to put it on the wrong finger (wrong hand even) and I caught her in the act and mentioned it to her.   She looked at me, put her chin down and eyes up, and tried to hold back a smile.   She knew I was onto her.
I had a great day, but for some reason I was still extremely depressed in the afternoon and even now.   Spending too much time in an empty, soul-less house is really disturbing for me.   We are renting our place and it was meant to be a temporary spot for us (for a year or so) until we figured out where we REALLY want to settle.   But Kindergarten is getting underway soon, our place is so empty (no pictures up, bookshelves empty) and it feels like my life is in a holding pattern with no time horizon for any decision to be made.  It is so disturbing to me.   I find it so hard to believe that despite my working from home and having time with my kids (and kind of feeling like a stay at home mom today), I am still so unhappy.   I feel so misplaced.   And I think my meeting my old high-school friend last night had a lot to do with it.   I miss my home.   I want a home for my children.  I want less stress and less pressure.   I want simplicity.    I want to enjoy my time and live my life with my family – and get on with establishing a home and rooting for the sake of them and myself.   I will need to write more on this at another time – but I’m just feeling so down right now.    So empty despite having so much.
I think I’ll call it a night, check in on my sleeping kids, take my meds and go to sleep –
Till next week –
– Mama K
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