March 30: Pizza, Pasta, and Ice-cream

It’s Friday night past 10 PM and I finished up a fantastic night with the kids, solo. I enjoy these times so much better with co-parent not around. Things are easier. More relaxed. The evening just unfolds.

Highlights of the Day:

  • Red helped Twin Crazy pick out her underwear for the day.
  • Both girls were wearing princess pajama dresses and I made a fuss about them looking like twins. Red wore hers for bed last night, but then Twin Crazy saw the matching purple dress and wanted to wear it over her pajamas. I wound up picking her up today from daycare wearing the same princess dress so I guess she refused to get changed out of it. They looked adorable together.
  • Twin Husky wanted to get his diaper changed on our big reclining chair. He loves that chair. It was ridiculous for me to change him on it but he was loving the attention and the siblings were thinking it was too funny. Big Bro took a lot of pictures of the diaper change with Twin Husky all reclined and relaxed.
  • I took some time to cuddle with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky; I was going to take them to daycare today since I had personal work to do, so was going to miss my time with them. It was nice to sit there and feel them on my lap, and see their heads slowly drift towards each other. They were head to head, sitting on my lap, each sucking their thumbs. My twins.
  • Big Bro helped them get into their strollers this AM. I love how the bigger kids help the little guys. It actually goes all the way around. They all help each other – I love catching these moments.





I spent the day working. I was exhausted afterwards. I picked up the kids a bit early.

  • Twins first, then Big Bro. Big Bro rode to Red’s pre-school and then rode back home to drop off the bike.
  • I took them all out to dinner. To a local pizza and pasta place that is VERY good with kids. We had to briefly wait for a table but the kids were all mesmerized by the man making pizza and the fire oven. They all colored and were very well behaved. Red drew a smiley face. Big Bro drew a helicopter. Both Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were busy drawing their “art”. I also call Twin Husky doing his “work” (he acts intense when he draws). Twin Crazy had a small accident so we all went to the bathroom to clean up. I brought an extra change of clothes just in case. By the time we all made it back the food was there and everyone ate like champs.
  • Afterwards we went for ice-cream. The kids were having a great time sitting next to a plastic dog and cat. They were blowing kisses and also pretending to give them drinks of their water. Twin Husky ate his cone in about 1 1/2 minutes. Red loves mint chocolate chip. Big Bro loves cookies and cream. I get the Twins “baby” cones of vanilla with raspberry swirl. I got a HUGE chocolate fantasy. YUM. I love going out with these four. I can’t begin to tell you the looks I get and people actually coming up to me asking me if they are all mine. YES. And YES there are a set of twins. YES I’m keeping myself busy and YES I AM LOVING IT. LOVING EVERY MINUTE WITH THESE CHILDREN. These people look at me and shake their heads in exhaustion but they don’t know half the story….
  • At home the kids were great; everyone went upstairs, and I got the Twins dressed. We did our kisses and they were asleep in no time.
  • I spent some time with Big Bro and Red downstairs – just the big kids. We wrote down the activities to do over the weekend and they drank lots of milk. I hope there are no accidents tonight since I could use the sleep.








I had a wonderful day today and feel lucky to have had this alone time with them. I know I’m headed in the right direction, but just hope that these kids make it through to the other side OK too.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K


p.s.  THERE WAS NO CRYING TONIGHT FROM RED.  She just asked me to put her in her covers (through the kid monitor) and I did.  She rested her body and SHE WENT TO SLEEP WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS.    This is the way it should be.   Soooooo much better this way.

January 6: All five of us looking out for each other

Friday – the weekend is here and I am ready for it, I think. I had a very trying morning and lonely lunch — did not have much of a great day but I did manage to squeeze a good chunk of time in with all of the kiddos, which immediately made me feel better…. stronger.

  • I made well-visit appointments for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and decided to take Big Bro as well so that all four kids would be in synch with their flu vaccinations (Red got one on Wed when I went with her for her pigeon-toe issue). While I had them, I decided to grab Red as well and take her along – that way we could go out to dinner together. The kids were great at the doctors. The bigger ones helped to care for the little ones and the little ones did great even though there were shots involved.


  • I took them out to dinner afterwards. It looked like a pizza place on the outside, but when I got in, it was a fancy pizza / pasta / wine kindof place with cloth napkins. There were older couples and dates everywhere. Needless to say, we were the only table with four little ones (5, 3, and two 2 yr old twins) and one mama. The kids did great. Again, older ones helping little ones, me overseeing everything and making sure everyone was happy and entertained, and listening to everyone so that no-one felt ignored. It was a REALLY good dinner and the kids ate very well. As I packed everyone up, I had some people come up to me commending me on how I handle the kids and how calm and in control I was – they asked if I needed any help to the car and I said – No! This is my job! We’re off to get ice-cream now! 🙂


  • Ice-cream was a hit, of course. There’s not much more to say about that.



  • When we got home I showed Red her new princess sheets that were in the washer; she was so excited. I put them in the dryer and they were ready in no-time. She was thrilled and I helped her get her bed ready. Now both kids are excited about their new sheets (as am I) which does make a difference settling in at night.



  • I bought a whole slew of books on “feelings” — Little Miss and Mr. Men series by Roger Hargreaves — and they arrived today. We read two of them tonight – “Mr. Happy” and “Little Miss Helpful”. They really are entertaining and funny – I was actually laughing out loud a couple of times. So far I recommend them — they are cute at talking about the feelings that we all have as people – something everyone can relate to –


Glad for today to be over; glad for the weekend; will be spending time with Big Bro and Red on Saturday and then Twin Crazy and Twin Husky on Sunday. And trying to keep my distance.

The thing that makes what I’m going through so difficult right now is that I feel like I have no-one to talk to. Close friends I’ve had out here have moved away once their own kiddos arrived (high cost of living) and the majority of the remaining friends are friendships with hubby. So they are keeping their distance. I feel like I’m out here alone – all family back east, close friends back east, few friends here. Time zones again work against me which makes this so difficult to stay connected except through cyberspace, which just isn’t enough for me right now.

I’m hurting for the life we could have made for our children and I’m hurting for the pain that they will go through now and in the future. That’s all I want to say right now but please if you know me PLEASE reach out; I need you now.

Till next week –
– Mama K

Staying Sane: Ice-cream in the Rain

What I enjoy most these days are those special moments when time almost stands still and your brain starts to actually think like a child’s.

This happened over the weekend.    After lots of activities in the morning (buying new pajamas, hitting baseballs, kicking soccer balls), both Big Bro and Red had VERY long naps – this likely had to do with the cold weather and the pouring rain.  After they both got up we all decided to go out for dinner.   I wanted to start a tradition.   On weekends if it is raining and if the kids are good I want to take them out for ice-cream.

We gathered our rain gear, headed out for dinner (kids still in pajamas), and then braved the weather with inside-out umbrellas on the way to get ice-cream.

Thinking like a child.  Getting excited for the big treat.   The adventure in the rain.  Holding the umbrella.   Not realizing that it will go inside-out from the wind and getting a big surprise when it does.   Walking through the rivers of rain.   Feeling the chill in the air and not caring.   Getting picked up to see the ice-cream flavors.    Looking at all of the colors… wondering which one to pick.   Sitting next to Pop-Pop on a Saturday night with the ice-cream shop filled with people.   Knowing it is silly wearing pajamas outside of the house.  Wearing a cat raincoat and loving it.   Not minding sticky hands or a sticky face.     Being 3.  Being 5.    Reaching up to hold a hand as we cross the street – wind blowing the cold rain.   Home.   Sweetness.   Cuddles on the couch.  Kisses goodbye and sleep.

This was one of the glimpses of childhood that I had the joy of experiencing over the weekend.   A memory I will likely replay to balance future days when I need to.

August 26: Taking the day off with Pop-Pop and my son

I’m doing things a bit differently today. I’m taking a vacation day. For several reasons. Big Bro’s daycare is closed today, and my dad is in town. My dad booked a flight out here when I was having troubles a week or so ago. I obviously appreciate that and also the time we get to spend together with Big Bro. It is a special weekend because Monday is Big Bro’s first day of Kindergarten, and it is Red’s first day of pre-school.

Red's last day at home daycare

Red's last day at home daycare

So I’ll keep my note brief since I am on vacation after all. We spent this morning waiting for Pop-Pop to arrive – he showed up while Big Bro and I were outside waiting. After lots of hugs, kisses, tickling, and giggling, we:

  • went to lunch at a diner and sat at the counter
  • got haircuts (for mommy and Big Bro).
Big Bro reconnecting with PopPop
Big Bro reconnecting with Pop-Pop
Handsome boy

Handsome boy, almost a "kindergartener"

  • got some ice-cream

Big Bro with chocolate goodness

  • went to Big Bro’s new school to look at the classrooms. We found his room with his chair and his folder, crayons, and name tag. It was so exciting. It was great having Pop-Pop there.
Checking out Big Bro's new school

Checking out Big Bro's new school

Now we are resting, getting ready for a ferry ride to see Hubby – all of us are going to go on the ferry – four kids, me, and Pop-Pop.  His relationship with our kids is so natural and playful. He talks to them like they’re people. He actually has conversations with them. Yes, he teases them too. But there are always laughs, and hugs, and tickles when he is around.  Our kids light up when they hear that Pop-Pop is coming. Months can pass by since we live across coasts, but it doesn’t matter. As soon as he’s here the kids light up and it’s like the relationships have not skipped a beat. It’s really cute to watch – not at all forced or contrived.  It’s all very, very natural with him.

So I’m going to sign off now since I’m on vacation. Have a great weekend everyone. Wish me luck on Monday morning with my eldest in Kindergarten and Red in pre-school.  I think they are both ready but I may not be!!!!   🙂  Monday will be a big day of changes for us as a family. I’m looking forward to all the new beginnings.

Til Monday –
– Mama K

%d bloggers like this: