Random Thoughts: Forget it! There is no way to stop time


A friend of mine sent me the below article link tonight and wanted me to share with you.  Thank you Mama G!  I agree that this is worth sharing – I believe it will strike a chord in you.   It’s something that we all know, something that we may wish away, and something that we may try in our own way to slow.   But you and I both know that you can’t stop time from passing us by.

Photo source:  inasinglestroke.com

I think of myself – how I try to document the kids’ milestones, how I take pictures endlessly, and how I do hope if I am lucky enough to live to an old age, that I can somehow, some way, remember what it is like now to be a mother to my children.

This post says it well:

http://www.blogher.com/letter-my-51-year-old-self?page=full

In my case I think I’m a bit older than this author 🙂   For me it might be a letter to my 65ish old self.   🙂   But still…. a good read and a good reminder to stop and simply enjoy your kids.

It’s hard as a working mother.  The weekends are not long enough.  And the weeknights are entirely too short.   But take in that time with your kids and leave the dishes aside.   Watch them interact and play.    Try to take that picture in your mind.  Or better yet, stop to think about the way these kids make you FEEL.   Because it’s probably not the minutia of the day that you will remember.  It won’t be the milestone of when the child lost that first tooth.  It will be the way you FEEL around your child that you will (hopefully) remember.   The fierceness of love, the never ending desire and dedication to do anything and everything that you can for that child.  The way that child could make you laugh from the deepest parts of your being.  The way you FEEL when you look into your child’s eyes.  The PRIDE you have for your child as you have a conversation with your little (or not so little anymore) one.

Take notice of those things.  Take mental notes — no “heart notes” of these FEELINGS.   Some will be good, crazed, anxious… but you will likely treasure those just as you do the pride, joy, admiration, connection, and undying love for each of your kids.

That’s all I will say for now –

I will have an emotional day tomorrow and I will likely need to write about it; so, until then;

– Mama K

Advertisements

March 1: Beginning to let go


It was a memorable day. It was a day of milestones. It’s a day like this when I’m glad I’m keeping this blog. A record of the children and who they are and how they’re changing and who they are becoming. I was home from work today. It’s 10:30 PM right now so this will be brief but heartfelt.

Highlights of the First Half of the Day:

  • The kids were playing with each other during breakfast. Big Bro and Twin Husky were playing ball.
  • Red and Twin Crazy decided to wear matching shirts. Red wore a pink bunny shirt, and Twin Crazy wore an identical shirt, but in gray. I was calling them “the twins”.
  • I dropped all kids off since it was my home day with them. My day to be a mom. It was raining so Big Bro rode with us in the van and did not go with the Motley Crew. I think he gets embarrassed of the entire clan of kids so for the VERY FIRST TIME EVER, I pulled into the circular driveway at school and DROPPED HIM OFF BY HIMSELF. Oh my goodness I asked him what he wanted to do and let him know that he had a choice. And he choose independence. He looked back a couple of times but I was so proud of him. And it hurt inside when I couldn’t see his blue fleece hood any longer when he turned a corner. I slowly drove away.
  • We dropped off Red next. I wanted to take a picture of the girls in their bunny shirts. They were so cute. Twin Husky was acting so silly and acting like a surfer for some reason. My laugh was bellowing through the school. In fact, some teachers came outside to see the commotion since I was laughing so loud. I love how his personality is busting through and how goofy he is becoming. He makes me smile so much.
  • Inside her classroom, Red gave Twin Husky and Twin Crazy hugs goodbye.
  • I decided to take Twin Crazy and Twin Husky out for breakfast for some bagels. They had fun looking out the window and squealing at dogs, and we talked about trucks and umbrellas and commented on other kids’ rainboots. Twin Husky was wearing a pair that were way too big for him but for some reason he loved them while also putting his hands in his pockets.
  • The day kindof went by…. Twin Husky was cleaning. They both got into Red’s kid nail polish. at 12:45 we picked up Big Bro and headed home for lunch and naps for the Twins. Me and Big Bro hung out and did nothing special or in particular.
  • 20120301-224223.jpg

    20120301-224256.jpg

    20120301-224327.jpg

    20120301-224405.jpg

    20120301-224424.jpg

    20120301-224447.jpg

    20120301-224507.jpg

    20120301-224533.jpg

    20120301-224556.jpg

    20120301-224613.jpg

    20120301-224627.jpg

    20120301-224640.jpg

    Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • The biggest event was picking up Red after Twin Husky and Twin Crazy woke up from their nap. We quickly gave them a snack and then Big Bro put on his helmet and got on his bike. I drove along side of him, 3 mph, with my hazards on. Our neighborhood is VERY secluded so there was no real traffic, and he had a sidewalk almost the entire way there, but there was one part of the journey where we were separated by a field. He was so thrilled to be riding on his own with us trailing him. I saw the joy in his face. I could almost feel the excitement in his body. I could almost feel his hands gripping the handlebars. And feel the wind on his face. And feel the sense of independence but also of security when looking over to see us in the van along side of him. He did
    great. We parked his bike and he did the same thing back at home. I said we should do this more often and I have a feeling we will. It was amazing. He is my boy.
  • Dinner was great; I had a steak going in the crockpot. The kids set the table by themselves. I heard them working together to get it done. They ate well. Big Bro ate like a champ. I taught them how it is good to eat meat after working your body and how the protein is good to help your sore muscles. So Big Bro ate a bit more.
  • We ended the night with chocolate milk.
  • It was my night with Big Bro and Red. Both are very clingy. Big Bro needed to sit in my lap. He was convinced that he did not have enough “Mommy time” today even though he had been
    with me since 1 PM and much of that was alone. I feel so bad for these kids. They are suffering already. I sat with them – scratched his back – held her hand, until they were both breathing deeply and lost to sleep.
  • And now as I’m going through my pictures for this post, I see that Big Bro had my iPhone when I wasn’t looking and decided to be a photographer himself and capture pictures of his treasured toys. So cute.
  • 20120301-225738.jpg

    20120301-225757.jpg

    20120301-225809.jpg

    20120301-225822.jpg

    20120301-225835.jpg

    20120301-225848.jpg

    20120301-225859.jpg

    20120301-225909.jpg

    I am tired; it is late. I don’t want these days to end. I don’t want it to get worse for them. There are so many glimpses of pure magic during the day with these kids. The boots. The smiles. The goofiness. The hugs. The wanting to help. The look of accomplishment. The drive to do things by themselves. I never want it to end.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    February 9: A hard day’s work


    I was not working today as a management consultant. Today I was working as a mom. So, the day just evolved and the hours blended into one another. It was a great, but tiring day. Some highlights:

  • I strolled Twin Crazy and Twin Husky while Big Bro rode his bike to school. We were a bit on the late side but he made it there just in time. He was out of breath when we got there.
  • 20120209-210215.jpg

  • I took Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to the park with sand. They climbed on the structure and slid down the slide. They got dirty. They got wet. They ate graham crackers. They looked at dogs. Twin Husky scaled a part of the structure I never thought he would. Twin Crazy held back a smile as she walked across the bridge.
  • 20120209-210233.jpg

    20120209-210250.jpg

    20120209-210301.jpg

  • We went back home and had a bath since they were wet and covered in sand.
  • 20120209-210312.jpg

    20120209-210326.jpg

  • Afterwards I did some laundry (they helped) and we decided to also clean Twin Husky’s Tigers. The problem was that they are battery-operated and I couldn’t rip out the mechanical parts so we decided to scrub-brush them clean. We had a great time doing that and of course the kids got soaking wet again so that just meant another change of clothes. We put the Tigers in the dryer and Big Bro was fine with that. They came out all fluffy and clean and we were talking about them for the rest of the day.
  • 20120209-210341.jpg

    20120209-210356.jpg

    20120209-210406.jpg

  • We had a quick snack, and then decided to pick up Big Bro early – right after his Kindergarten – no aftercare. So we gathered ourselves back into the stroller with our clean Tigers and strolled to his school. We spied on him a bit in the playground and I chatted with some moms. They asked me how I’m loving my work schedule and they mentioned how they are seeing the difference in my kids. Some have also taken steps back to spend more time with their kids and the changes and impact on the children is noticeable almost immediately. We often talk about why we didn’t do this sooner.
  • Recess was over and the kids were lining up so I hid with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky elsewhere – Big Bro gets too anxious when he sees us and we were on the early side. So we ran around in a field while we were waiting for his classroom to let out. We had a great time – I was chasing the kids and they were loving running around in the grass at their brother’s school. I’m glad we got there too early so we could have this special running time in the field together.
  • 20120209-210429.jpg

  • Big Bro was surprised to see us so early. He was excited to ride his bike home. Our back door neighbor was also there so they rode home together. It was really cute watching Big Bro with his friend. Just the two of them. He does much better in smaller settings. It takes him awhile to get comfortable with someone and this child is so sweet and easy going. It was great seeing them ride and talking and laughing with each other.
  • 20120209-210439.jpg

    20120209-210450.jpg

  • At home, we had lunch. Big Bro had lunch with us too so that was his 2nd lunch. Then Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were happily ready for their naps.
  • 20120209-210502.jpg

  • They nap for 2 hours so I grabbed the monitor and Big Bro and I went behind the house to the cul-de-sac where the other kids live. They rode bikes and ran through their houses for at least 2 hours. I kept checking on Twin Crazy and Twin Husky and they eventually were ready to get up.
  • 20120209-210515.jpg

  • I went with Twin Crazy and Twin Husky to pick up Red. The kids were playing in the playground when I got there. The kids love the Twins and the Twins loved their playground. It was so cute seeing how all of the kids were caring for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky…. showing them around, helping them up their structure, holding their hands. Red was a proud big sister.
  • When we got back I started to make dinner and the neighbors sent Big Bro over at 5 PM. I made some flat meat pork with a marinade and dinner was on the table really quickly. That is when the problems started. Big Bro just did not want to stop riding his bike. He rejected the backyard while I was making dinner and kept defying me when I told him not to go out front. He refused to sit at dinner, and also took out the toy bins and started dumping the toys on the ground. I’m not used to this kind of defiance so I just told him to leave the room. That we didn’t want him in the room anymore. We went back and forth and he spent some time in his room but he eventually just sat on the floor while we ate dinner. He ate nothing in defiance. I held my ground.
  • Afterwards he whined that he was hungry for close to 2 hours afterwards and I would not give in. He decided to boycott dinner so I wanted him to feel the consequences. I only offer the kids milk when they decide not to eat dinner (when I know they do like something that has been offered to them). So I offered him milk, he refused, and he went to bed hungry.
  • He was reasonably good at bedtime. He brushed his teeth, read his books, and cuddled up to me when I read some other books. The poor guy was just exhausted. I think he was riding his bike for close to 4 hours so his body must have really been tired.
  • So I’m sitting in bed, very tired, but it’s a happy tired. I feel good that I was able to spend the day with the littlest ones the way I did. And I had a lot of time with Big Bro (some great, some not so great) and was thrilled to surprise Big Bro the way that I did. It was interesting to see him interact in a way with his friends that I have not seen previously. Whizzing by on bikes, circling each other, sharing food, saying “that’s cool”. How did he grow up so quickly? I know he’s not even six and there’s so much more to come but my god it just hits you so fast and all of the sudden he’s talking and using reason and laughing at complex situations and just being such a person. I almost can’t wait for a house full of “real” people and the kind of interactions we will have… but yet I am ready and happy to wait… the time will come fast enough and I want this time while they are little and still want me close.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    %d bloggers like this: