By Robin Fisher Roffer

So many people I know who once had major success in high profile positions now feel like they can’t get even get a phone call returned. One former television executive just asked me, “Am I pathetic?”

When you question yourself in this way, you don’t show up, uncertainty does. You may think you’re fooling everyone with the right clothes and your game face, but your insecurity is all they see.

Today’s decision makers want to be reassured that they are making the right choice by hiring with you. There’s a lot of doubt in the business world and when you doubt yourself, you just add to it.

Here are five ways to step away from self-doubt and career uncertainty:

1. Connect With A Supportive Community.

Community creates contentment. That’s why it’s important not to isolate. When we separate ourselves from our feelings and from positive influences, we sabotage our happiness. To connect with your highest self, get into a group that meets regularly and say “goodbye” to people who don’t believe in you.

Mama K comment:  Look in your community for working mother groups.   Find colleagues who are working mothers and go out to lunch, coffee, etc.  Make time for each other.   Visit www.mamainmotion site frequently.  🙂

2. Move Like Jagger.

To instill confidence, you have to move in a way that tells people, “Pay attention to me. What I do and have to say matters.” Make a list of all of your accomplishments to remind yourself of how talented and valuable you really are and then read that list right before you make an important call or walk into a meeting.

Mama K comment: Look at what you have accomplished!   You have created another human being, or two, or three, or four….   You can get yourself dressed in the morning and the kiddos out the door…. you have a job and are earning money…. you are able to multi-task….   Think about the things that you offer your workplace that only you can do.   Think about how you have grown as a worker because of your experience having children (e.g., negotiating, listening, hearing, solving problems….).    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH!!! 

3. Be Cooperative, Not Competitive.

Yes, you have to stand out from the pack to get a great job or make an awesome deal. Just don’t be ugly about it — when you throw dirt, you lose ground. You want to be seen as a relationship builder who works well with others and can motivate a team to excellence – someone who can collaborate and co-create with a lot of different personalities.

Mama K comment: We teach this to our children.  Treat those like you would want to be treated.  The best way to teach our children this is through example.  Be that role model that you want to be for your children.  Do it at home, and do it at work too.

4. Stop Asking Everyone What They Think.

Let’s face it, you’re not seeking advice, you’re seeking approval. And the more advice you get, the more confused you become. The answers are inside of you. Listen carefully to your gut and let it guide you to what you really want.

Mama K comment:  I love this one.  Aren’t we all like this when we start out?  We are so unsure of ourselves?  Remember the first hour, day, week, you held your first child?   Now look at you!   You are an expert!   Think of all the other things that you KNOW you can do BETTER than others.   Again, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.   Listen to what your intuition tells you.  You’ve learned this at home with your babies.  With your children.  Somehow you just know fundamentally what they need.   Apply the same thinking to yourself.  Trust your intuition and instinct.  Be that expert at work!   You have the answer!   BE SELF CONFIDENT!   You are a superwoman!

5. Communicate With Yourself Authentically.

More than ever, people are in fear and they want to be around those with inner strength. Now is the time to know yourself, be sure of yourself and stop apologizing for who you are. If you can’t see past your failures, start being conscious in each moment so you can feel the goodness in you.

The purpose of all communication is about love, not judgments or manipulation. Check your motivations. If you’re coming from a place of desperation, scarcity or fear, stop right there and do something to take care of you. Go for a long walk, volunteer, have a good meal, get a massage or play with your children. You’ll find that through self-care your attitude will improve and the right opportunities will come knocking.

Mama K comment:   This one is deep.   Communication is so key.  But this is asking so much more.  It’s asking you to look deep within yourself and know who you are and what you want.  Be honest with yourself.  I think this is REALLY hard for working mothers to do… my thinking is that we spend so much time thinking about others that it is easy to push ourselves aside.   This is a reminder to bring you back.   And when you talk, when you have an opinion, and when you voice your opinion, TEST yourself.    Are you being true to yourself?  Are you being sincere?  Genuine?   If you catch yourself saying no, you need a “time out.”

 Thanks for listening –

– Mama K