Happy birthday twin crazy and twin husky!!!!


The sun is shining the birds are singing and my babies are 3 today. I called them this morning and they were all giggling. I will be at co-parent’s tonight and am bringing cakes and balloons. I am thrilled today. They are growing into amazing people and I am so happy to be their mother.

Have a great day everyone!!!

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December 4: Happy Birthday Coparent


Today was a good day at work.   I had a face-to-face meeting with a client so was dressed up to impress.  We had a good meeting.  I had a good, productive, rest of the day.

But it was emotional for a part of the day.  Today is co-parent’s birthday.  I remember when he turned 40, I gave him 40 gifts (seriously) over a span of 1 week.  This time last year however, he was preparing for divorce without my knowledge.  And today, I am living apart from  him in a different home and our four children are caught in the middle of so much.  Tonight was their night with him – so he had the opportunity to celebrate with his kids.

We have been fighting over custody, over schedules, over where these kids are going to school, community property, separate property, accounts, real estate, cars….. And I have been so angry feeling like a crusade that I started when Big Bro was born to live a simpler life in a community with great school districts has fallen on deaf ears and caused the downturn in our marriage.  But, what done is done.  The past is the past.  We have been through pain and I have cried too many tears over the past two years in particular.   We are still in the process of divorce and I just want this to be done with.  I’m done.  I’ve had it.  I want it over.  I want to move forward.  I want each of us to move forward and make sure that our kids are happy and have what they need, what they deserve.

So, happy birthday co-parent.  Let’s try to get this done with.   Please be reasonable and respectful of me and I will be the same to you.  Let’s move forward without too many more scars.  Our kids will be better off if we are able to do that with one another.

And now, a plug for a GREAT service that I used today:  TaskRabbit.com.    Think Craigslist but with a captive audience of pre-screened “rabbits” that will do your task for you.  I used them in the past to build a Home Depot shed for me.  I used them tonight to deliver 8 helium balloons to co-parent’s house (our old house) tonight for his birthday party with our four kids and a close friends/neighbor’s four kids as well.  I called there and the party seemed to be in full swing with the kids fighting over the colors of the balloons.   I should have ordered only one color.  Oh well.

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PLEASE TRY OUT TASKRABBIT AND USE PROMO CODE:  PAL294191 FOR A DISCOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, life goes on with ups and downs, with celebrations and scars, but also with help and support.   I guess the trick is to seize the happy moments knowing that there will be scars to come – but hoping nonetheless that you can get through them and come out on the other side stronger than where you started.

Til tomorrow –

– Mama K

Staying Sane: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA IN MOTION


OMG I can’t believe it.   I JUST realized right now that Mama in Motion is 1 year old today!!!    July 15…..

I can’t believe it.   I knew it was sometime this month but did not realize it was TODAY!!!

I’m going to have to do some celebrating.  Not sure how.   So much as happened this last year and I actually feel so grateful for having this as a channel for me to help express how I’m feeling but hopefully this has also helped other working mothers out there along the way….

This is actually a bit bittersweet since this past year (and months before that) have been so difficult for me.  It’s painful for me to read prior posts of when I was trying to keep my head above water and in the midst of depression.  And seeing the kids so little and not realizing at that time that we would now have split homes and their lives forever changed.

But on a happier note, I am so happy that I’ve kept this project going.  And I do get a thrill each time I receive a comment.  Especially from someone brand-new who is introducing themselves to the group.   We are a diverse and STRONG set of women.

 

I’m looking forward to celebrating this milestone and continuing this journey with all of you.

 

– Mama K

July 2: Happy (?) birthday to me


I turned 42 today.

Half of my life ago and on the evening before my birthday, I attempted to keep up with friends who were buying me too many shots for my 21st birthday. I promptly proceeded to vomit an entire box of raviolis into the bushes outside of the bar where we were celebrating.

Today, I go to work and have a series of planning meetings for the company. I go out to dinner with a friend and co-worker (and her husband, and her two small kids) who will soon be leaving the company and this city. I will miss her. Thank you Ro for making my birthday special.

And then I go home to an empty house, with the exception of a mailbox full of mail and a guinea-pig that we recently named (“Cocoa”). I threw in some laundry. I put on the lawn sprinkler. I watered my newly planted trees and berry bushes.

I did not hear from the kids today, nor was I expecting to. I will see them on Wednesday AM and will have them all day Wed, Thursday, and Friday until 6 PM.

What a difference 21 years makes.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

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June 28 and 29: Pop-pop and Emmy are here


I didn’t post yesterday since it’s been REALLY busy the past two days.  My dad is here with his wife; I’m thankful for their visit, am psyched for them to see this new life, and excited about the kids and their experiences with Pop-pop and Emmy.   The kids have been talking about the visit and were so excited to see them.

Highlights:

Thursday

  • Waking up and caring for still nameless guinnea-pig
  • watching “Geek Squad” from Best Buy come back again to program the remote control (by the way – it is busted again and they will need to come out again)
  • Playing computer games on various iPads
  • Holding chickens
  • Making “fart” noises with the air pump hose
  • Making air-popped pop corn and trying to watch a movie with the tv/remote control (NOT)
  • Having my next door neighbor give us little shoots of corn-stalks to plant in our yard since she ran out of room
  • Running around at night before bedtime, through the yards and in parades and laughing and having to take breaks for breath and running running running and laughing laughing laughing with all of the siblings.  Too much fun.  This is the kind of activity that I remembered as a kid.   I just sat on the rocking chair watching their fun

 

Friday:

  • Cleaned out still nameless guinnea pig cage
  • Red held another chicken and proceeded to chase chickens around the property trying to hold them some more
  • Fed nameless guinnea pig an apple slice
  • Went to Target and had the kids in two different shopping carts; went shopping for house stuff as well as stuff for the kids; Red had a one-on-one shopping experience with Emmy where she was able to pick out HER OWN shirts and pants.  She never really had this experience before and has always had hand-me-downs; I am grateful for Emmy for giving her this experience; she gave us a fashion show when we got home.  Got “crocs” for all kids to help with the outdoor action and mulch migration into the house
  • Relaxed at home the rest of the day; played Legos
  • Took the kids back to co-parent’s.  Red informed me that we did not have enough time today together.  I felt guilty.  I mentioned the coloring that we did, but she reminded me that was Yesterday, and not today….
  • Went out to dinner with my dad and Marsha.   It was great.  I am tipsy.  I enjoyed the meal, converation, and the dessert.  I will be 42 on Monday!!!!!

I am feeling reasonably good; I feel even better about the decisions I made with this house.  It was the right thing to do given the circumstances.  It is the right thing for our family.   I am ready for this upcoming birthday and feeling reasonably OK with where I am in life now despite the friction around me.

Have a great weekend all –

– Mama K

May 8: Sometimes you try so hard and it just doesn’t matter


It is the end of the day and I can’t even begin to explain the complexities of my day today. I was working, running, picking up messes, delivering client presentations, baking cupcakes, wiping butts, … …. …. and sometimes you work so hard and it just doesn’t matter.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Chocolate Tuesday. Kids ate great; the morning was uneventful with the exception of some good bonding time between Red and Batman. Twins were in great moods and probably supercharged from the sugar.
  • Big Bro and Red both got dressed quickly and we were all out the door without a problem. Big Bro woke up to a Spiderman helium balloon that I tied to his bed the night before. I do that for each of the kids on the mornings of their birthdays.
  • However…. the Twins’ daycare provider could not take them today because of a funeral. And I STILL did not have back-up care lined up with the exception of a neighbor and I hated to impose like that… so I dropped Red off and came back with the Twins, hoping I could find the solution
  • I immediately looked for their immunization records which was needed by Red’s daycare to have them come in on a drop-in basis. Great news…. I found them no problem. Bad news… I left a message for them in the AM but they didn’t get back to me until 10 AM and by that point the festivities (tragedies) of the day were already in full swing…
  • We played with Batman for a bit. Twin Crazy had fun holding him.
  • Twin Husky showed me his “work” from the other day – a card that he was drawing on. I overheard the twins talking about it with each other and Twin Husky asking Twin Crazy to sit with him. They were so cute. I got them set up with paper and markers for “their work” so that I could begin my working day too….
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    Highlights of My Working Day:

  • I had one conference call at 9 AM which I was able to muddle through most of the time on mute. But there were still some Twin talk in the background so I’m sure I didn’t get away scot-free.
  • It was the call at 9:30 that was the serious problem. I mean, a HORRENDOUS problem. It was a team meeting for a joint sales presentation we are delivering next week. Essentially I am organizing it and I’m a bit stressed at the lack of participation from our business partner and also their lack of understanding of what we are trying to do. I am very protective now of the business development efforts we do and am hesitant to bring in partners, for concern over their own motivations and using our client relationships…. anyway…. i digress. At one point in the conversation the Twins really started to get crazy. And I was leading this call. There was no way to go on mute. So I simply went outside in the yard to finish the conversation. It was literally only 10 – 15 minutes of outside talk time. Having twins does not simply double the trouble. No way. Because they team up with each other. They work together to elevate the trouble to an entirely different level. Within the 10 – 15 minutes, they (one of them) brought their little chair over to the refrigerator, and began to empty the entire ice dispenser out all over the kitchen floor. Then, they (someone) started with the water spout from the refrigerator. Then, twin Husky started filling up water cups and when I came in he was in the process of dumping the entire cup all over Twin Crazy’s head. So of course that erupted into wails. I quickly walked outside to finish the call, albeit in shock. In two minutes I was back inside, waddling through a sea of ice-water in the kitchen and dealing with two wailing Twins who were freezing cold. It was at this point that Red’s daycare called me back and said they had room. I asked when can I bring them over and they said “as soon as you can so they can transition”. THANK YOU GOD.
  • I gathered their things and told them what was happening. They know Red’s school well – I bring them there all the time to either pick her up or drop her off. So they were excited that THEY were going to school. To play with friends. To play outside. To color. To sing. To read books. To eat. To go night-night. We packed up their blankets, Twin Crazy’s lovey, Twin Husky’s Tiger. Changes of clothes. The class was in the yard when we got there. We got to see Red. The Twins fell right into the outside routine with all of the kids. I was impressed. Twin Crazy just went off and explored and started to play with a tricycle. Twin Husky was investigating a play structure. Twin Crazy was smiling ear to ear. And then squealing with Red, who was looking over the fence with her friends. Twin Husky was clingy when it was time for me to go. I asked Twin Crazy if she was OK and if it was OK if I go while she played at school, and she said “yeah” without a problem. No tears from that one. It got me a bit down seeing them in that environment. I really don’t think the daycare where they are now is good for them at this stage in their development. They need to be with other kids besides themselves.
  • I ran home and had enough time to bake 24 cupcakes for Big Bro during his aftercare class. I was running short on time but I needed to do this for him since it was his birthday and he was expecting the cupcakes. I guess someone else would have been preparing for the client meeting – but I was focused on those cupcakes for my child. You only turn 6 once, and he is at an age where he remembers these things.
  • I got myself ready in record time – big client presentation for my client project
  • I dropped off the cupcakes but the aftercare door was locked. I went into the kitchen of the school and left them with someone with specific instructions about the aftercare building and Big Bro’s name. She said for me not to worry he would get them.
  • I hauled ass to my client meeting. Stopped at Trader Joe’s for a salad.
  • We had the meeting. It went well. I made the mistake of mentioning to my Director on the team that I might have to leave early. He rolled his eyes. After the meeting he mentioned that I seemed distracted. Hmmmm. Maybe a divorce underway? Home purchase? Children in a daycare center that is brand new to them? Me rushing all around this morning not even knowing if I was going to make it to the meeting? My kid’s birthday? Wondering if the cupcakes got to him OK? Thinking about the flood in my kitchen that happened not even 4 hours ago? Distracted? OF COURSE I’M DISTRACTED!!!!!!!!!!!! So it doesn’t matter that I bust ass to try to get this work done, even though I tell them that it is virtually impossible for me to do client projects….. I got there. I presented well. I was confident. I didn’t even look at the deck before presenting. These things just don’t bother me. I was there. I made it. But it didn’t matter. I was “distracted”.
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    Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I got home in enough time to change cars to the mini-van and also buy gas. Then went straight to daycare to pick up the Twins and Red. They were so cute sitting at the table having a snack. The teachers said they had a great time, no tears. They stayed close to each other most of the day. But they had fun. I loved seeing them there. They said goodbye to everyone on their way out.
  • We picked up Red and she was excited to see us.
  • We then picked up Big Bro. I asked him about the cupcakes. He said there weren’t any cupcakes. I asked the workers about the cupcakes. They said there weren’t any cupcakes. WHAT?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! You mean I bust my ass to get these here and there ARE NO CUPCAKES?????? It’s not even the wasted effort or the rushing that pissed me off… it was that I disappointed Big Bro. He was expecting cupcakes at aftercare. And we talked about it. And they didn’t get to him. I felt like a failure. I felt like I disappointed him. I was probably more disappointed than he was, but I still can’t believe it.
  • He rode his bike home. I asked him to think about what he wanted for dinner. He wanted mac-n-cheese (boxed kind) but with two additional pasta shapes added to it. I add real cheddar cheese to this. So he picked out the shapes.
  • As the water was starting to boil, we went in to cuddle with Batman. The kids are holding him and he is getting to know us. We were all there except for Twin Husky. Big Bro decided to go to the kitchen to start on the cheese mix and he ran back into the room saying “Mommy… something REALLY bad happened in the kitchen… you’re not going to like it……”. I was immediately worried about Twin Husky….
  • The floor was flooded AGAIN. Twin Husky was no-where to be found. Big Bro found him upstairs hiding in Big Bro’s bed.
  • Dinner went great; we all ate everything
  • 3 saved cupcakes split between 4 kids along with ice-cream went great. We all sang happy birthday.
  • Presents went great – we received boxes from my mom and dad for Big Bro to open; Big Bro got some clothes and FOUR lego sets having to do with superheros.
  • After dinner Big Bro worked on Legos. Red held Batman. Twins were acting crazy.
  • I started on Twins bedtime routine and did lots of kissing with them and talking about school. They were both tired.
  • Downstairs I worked with Big Bro on the Lego sets and picked out the pieces for him as he followed the directions.
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    They are both drifting to sleep now as I type this outside of their rooms. I had a very busy, hectic, crazy extreme day. Lots of kid-time, but lots of disasters. Flooded kitchens, crazy conference calls, last-minute back up child care, a child’s birthday, missing cupcakes, and a Director that doesn’t understand what it is like to be a mother consultant of four small kids that is going through a divorce AND buying a house and thinking about cupcakes and what to do tonight to make her son’s birthday special. He just doesn’t get it. I was THERE at the meeting and in the end it doesn’t matter. I will hear about how I was distracted.

    At least the kids were all happy today. At least Batman is beginning to trust our family. At least the closing on the house looks promising for tomorrow. And at least we are all breathing, and living, and with each other in this moment. And at least Big Bro had a great birthday, from what I can tell.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Staying Sane: Celebrate!


    It was Red’s birthday over the weekend and Big Bro has one coming up this week; so we had a joint-birthday celebration for the two of them over the weekend.

    I’ve always been excited about birthdays. It really is a momentous time, and not just about a cake and a gift. Its the celebration of someone’s life. It’s about showing that you care about that person – that you see that person – and that they are special to you and they mean something to you. And that hopefully you are a better person because their life is intermingled with your own.

    So I make my kids’ birthdays special. I try to make them FEEL special during their day. Waking up with a helium balloon tied to their bed, walking downstairs with a string of balloons on the railing, the cake, the special dinner, the extra hugs and kisses.

    This year my kids celebrated with their friends, scooters, cake (of course), going out to breakfast, going to a museum, going out to dinner, getting ice-cream, and getting THEIR FIRST PET. Yes, I caved and we went to PetCo and bought a pet. The animal that appeared to be best for our young kids was a guinea pig and we sat there with one and each of the kids held it and pet it. They all wanted him. He is black. We named him Batman.

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    So I’m typing this after a very full weekend, and with Batman in my room. It’s been only half a day and his cage already stinks. Or, maybe I’m just not used to the smell yet. Maybe it will get better. But the kids love him so far, and they are excited about caring for him and cleaning up his poops. Let’s see how long that lasts.

    Staying sane? I know. I’m questioning that too.

    Have a great week all –
    – Mama K

    May 3: Birthday cupcakes


    Today was my day off from work. I had the Twins as usual, but today I also wanted to steal Red from her daycare. Her birthday is coming up over the weekend and I wanted her to have cupcakes to bring into the class. So I wanted her to spend time with me shopping and preparing for baking event.

    Highlights of the Morning:

  • I went up to the twins at 7 AM and both were just waking up. I wanted Red to sleep a bit longer since we didn’t have to rush. I also wanted Big Bro to rest in a bit since he gets ready so fast now once he’s up. Twin Crazy wanted to wear stockings so we put them on, underneath a comfy pair of pants. She is so cute.
  • Twin Crazy was cuddly and very clingy today. I spent most of the morning walking around with her. She wasn’t interested that much in breakfast, but was VERY interested in Red’s butterfly tattoos that she spotted on the counter. I said she could hold them but that they were Red’s.
  • We went upstairs to Red and Big Bro. Red noticed the tattoos right away. I told Red that I already explained to Twin Crazy that they were hers [conflict avoiding]. So they sat there together looking at the butterflies and talking about the different colors that they saw on each one.
  • Eventually Twin Husky came up to see us too. “Mommy….mommy….” I love it. My littlest guy. The youngest of the four by 1 minute. So I had all kids upstairs with me and I needed to get them back down! I helped to lay out the clothes that Big Bro picked out and told him to make sure he changed his underwear and socks. [Yuck]
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    Highlights of the Day:

  • Red and I finished breakfast and talked while Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were busy playing with each other and talking. They both were strolling around with toy strollers and then feeding the Tigers water which turned into a big mess.
  • We got ready to go shopping for the cupcake supplies. We talked on the way over there about other food we needed too. They were great to shop with. They all followed me around, didn’t grab too many things, and we even ran into a neighbor. “OK guys, now what do we need?…… let’s go over here…. come on guys….”. Then a child says “How about this?!?!???” – even the twins are doing it now. They had a great time in the cake aisle. I do get a lot of looks from people when I go shopping like this. I DO hear them as they whisper behind me “How does she do it?”. Little do they know that I have ANOTHER one at school at the moment so yes it is FOUR. I love it.
  • After shopping we had a snack, played peek-a-boo, and did our nails. Red was in charge since it was her polish.
  • We then made home-made play dough and that kept them busy for awhile.
  • Lunch was a disaster. I made beans, cheese, and salami and was busy in the kitchen doing something and when I came back to the dining room, all of the food was thrown all over the place. I couldn’t believe it. These kids are normally so good. And Red should know better!!! So I had all the kids on the floor picking up the food and saying that I felt mad and that this was bad behavior. So they all went up for their naps immediately afterwards with empty stomachs. No one put up a fuss though about going to sleep. I think they were too scared to.
  • I did some work while they were napping. I threw a whole chicken into a crock-pot with lots of spices for dinner.
  • Once they got up, we went to pick up Big Bro. He rode his bike back home and we followed him.
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    Dinner and Bedtime:

  • We started on the cupcake project which was a lot of fun.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky were helping me with carrots for the dinner.
  • They ate well. Afterwards, we decorated 4 cupcakes and they each had one. Twin Crazy’s was the littlest (barely there even) but she didn’t notice. She was enthralled by the colored candy sprinkles and frosting.
  • I did 4 batches of cupcakes and ran out of paper cups. I sent Big Bro to our neighbor’s house to pick up some more. And then I asked for more and she went to the fence to drop them off – but I didn’t see that text – but Red saw her hands coming through the fence…. “Mommy… mommy!!! I see a hand! I see a hand!!” I had no idea what she was talking about. I was looking all over the kitchen for a shadow of a hand or something and then I looked out the window and my poor neighbor was waving these cupcake cups in the air. Too funny. I was hysterical and the kids were too.
  • Kids were jumpy after all the sugar but they did such a great job working together to decorate the cupcakes.
  • I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime routine and got them to calm their bodies down so that they could be reasonable at storytime. They were great. Big Bro actually read the book that Red picked out and I could tell that he was proud, as was I.
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    So now I’m in bed and very drained. I loved the time with the kids but there is so much going on right now in terms of the divorce, me buying a house, and work/final deliverables…. I feel like I’m getting hit in all directions and there is no one on my side. But I refuse to give up. I’m from the East Coast and we’re made of stronger stuff out there. Must be the water.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

    Staying Sane: Celebrate


    The days come and the days go but every now and then there comes a day that is special. With young children, the birthdays are special times. I’ve always been very big with birthdays. It is a time to stop and to focus on an individual and celebrate the person and the fact that the person is in your life. I love the days leading up to a birthday – especially the days leading up to a child’s birthday.

    Today was one of those days, and it was a double-special day, in many ways. Our twins turned two. Two bodies, two lives, a brother and a sister, celebrating their second year of life. I remember when we found out we were having twins, and then the day they were born (Twin Crazy at 6 pounds 5 ounces, and Twin Husky at 6 pounds 12 ounces), and many of the days leading up to today.

    They knew it was their birthday. They would raise their hands when we asked whose birthday it was. Twin Husky has been walking around for several days now practicing his “happy birthday” tune. And the cutest thing is that when I would ask one whose birthday it was, they would say their sibling’s name first. I think that’s amazing. A pair. A set. Two children. Two years.

    So in the midst of day-to-day life, and life’s ups and downs, and endings and new beginnings, it was wonderful for me to stop and take the day to celebrate the lives of two people that have forever changed my life. My goal was to make it special for them – and they both said they had a great day. We had a small party with close friends and young kids – and the cake and ice-cream overflowed and we let everyone indulge.

    So to my twins who are growing up so fast, Happy Birthday to you and thank you for these years and thank you for giving me a reason to be thrilled for this weekend!

    Love you both dearly –
    – Mama

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