About Me

I have always been a person of extremes.

I grew up in a relatively unnoticeable suburban town outside of Northeast Philadelphia.   I had what I think was a normal childhood.   I attended public schools, had a good group of friends, and fought with my little brother.   I worked part-time to buy my first car.   I had a period of time hanging out with a “bad” crowd and acting cool.  I had big hair.   I listened to heavy metal music.  I went to college and made more friends.  I learned how to drink from a beer funnel.  I have always been known for my bellowing, infectious laugh.

I entered the workforce in my early 20s.  It was at this point when I believe I started to take control over my life — and I would characterize myself as extremely aggressive and selfish, looking back.   Shots on Tuesday nights, partying down the shore, taking NYC and even Hoboken NJ by storm.  I traveled.  I dated.  I worked abroad because I wanted to – I switched jobs to seize that opportunity.   I went to Columbia University for my MBA because I wanted the credential more than really knowing what it was that I wanted to do.   After graduating I decided to move from the East Coast to the West Coast because I knew I wanted to live that experience. I had my job offer for a management consultancy switched from NYC to a popular city on the West Coast because I wanted that move to happen.   I’ve always viewed my job as a means to an end — and certainly did not define myself based upon my job or profession.

In my 30’s and on the West Coast, I began my job in management consulting.  For those that do not know, this can be a very, very, intense profession.  You are meant to drop everything to keep clients happy.   You need to keep billable or you are expendable. At more senior levels, you need to sell work.  You need to travel.   But I like(ed) it, sort of.   I like the problem solving and the people.    I am actually good at what I do.   I am an empathetic listener to my clients and can often see the underlying issues in their business before they do.  I am action-oriented, dependable, and expect results.   (by the way, I think these same traits suit me well as a mom).   I have survived the profession for 10+ years which I never imagined. I have learned a lot during this time. The job is demanding but also rewarding. I made friends.   I explored.   I “ran” two marathons.   And I met a gentle, smart man who I would marry and father my children. I can’t even begin to tell you how our lives changed after the kiddos came.  This has been tough.  I love my children and I think I’m a great, no EXCELLENT, mother.  I had been in management consulting the entire time and going back to work full-time after each maternity leave.  This decision has always torn me to pieces but I felt I had no choice due to family economics.  The third pregnancy was not “as planned” as the first two and we wound up with Twins.   We freaked.

We made the move to the sub-urbs when I turned 40.  Returning to work in management consulting (full time, 5 days a week) was extremely difficult.  The culmination of running, running, running for those past five years lead me to a dark, dark place where happiness was hard to reach.  During this time I felt that I had no choice but to keep up this grueling pace because my family needed me to work full time for the income.   The pace got worse and I was desperate to make a change — a serious change — I had no quality of life and hit the wall.   This past February the walls came tumbling down. I suffered from exhaustion and depression — the laughter essentially left my eyes except during the times that I was laughing with my children.

I tried desperately during 2011 to work with Hubby for us to see a path towards change – for a better quality of life for us as a family.   I made some significant changes in my working schedule and my company accommodated a reduced work week so I can spend more time with my children. This has really helped. So, some doors have shut, but others have opened. 2012 will be a big year for me – a tough year- but a year towards growth and hopefully finding some peace and a home that I can build as a foundation for my family. I am still depressed but medication and therapy has helped tremendously.   I no longer work full-time, five days a week and instead have a reduced work-week – I decided to take control over whatever I could to make things better for me and my family.   However, in December 2011 my husband filed for divorce so there will be more transitions in my immediate future and my balance of happiness between work and family has been threatened.

This blog is a part of this life transition for me — I strongly believe that aspects of my life are extremely relevant for many, many working mothers out there.   However the package of my story is unique, just like the story of each and every one of you.    I’m just choosing to share more of myself with all of you — but hopefully in the process will bring myself as well as others a bit closer to a better, happier place.   I’m on the way to getting my laugh back – I hope that you join me on this journey.

Thanks for listening – your feedback and thoughts, suggestions are always welcome –

Love to all –

– Mama K