October 19: A good friday

Today was unusual. Big Bro did not have school. So we all had a “home” day at my home and LOVED it.

Highlights:

• Woke up to Twin Husky (as usual) and cuddled in bed. Red came in with Cocoa (guinea pig).
• Breakfast included the fireplace, oatmeal, home-made pancakes, and bread and butter (their new favorite).
• Bikes outside; kids were in a great mood. Halloween costumes were on again. I showered while they had fun.
• We went to Target to return some lightbulbs and get the right size. They loved the escalator ride. I loved that they know about the “list” and that they didn’t even waver towards any toys or ANYTHING else since it was not on our “list”. We were in and out in 5 minutes. On the escalator down, Twin Crazy had a spill and hurt her knee which fouled things up. Red was left up top, scared, but I asked her to hold tight and I’ll come back for her. Big Bro stayed with Twin Husky at the bottom and I carried Twin Crazy up the escalator again and we rescued Red. The girls were now laughing.
• We went to the library afterwards. The kids picked out books almost immediately and 2 DVDs too; Big Bro checked out the books by himself with the bar-code reader. Red decided she wanted to be “old school” and go to the librarian to check out her books.
• We went to the playground afterwards and the kids had fun climbing on trains, swinging, going down slides, and scaling structures.
• We had a great lunch;
• Twins were great taking their naps. Big Bro watched a Tinkerbell DVD while Red and I colored.
• We had a delivery from Amazon – a guinea-pig play pen. I think she likes it. The kids do at least.
• There was another delivery – the Buzz Lightyear t-shirt for Twin Husky to go with his blow-up wings. He was psyched.
• Big Bro went over to a neighbor’s house to play Legos.
• The rest of us were at home riding bikes, sweeping leaves, and decorating the house for Halloween.
• Before you knew it, it was time for me to take them to co-parent’s. It turned dark and foggy on the way. As did my mood. So typical.

I spent other times during the day on email and on the phone with my office. A big meeting is next week that I will be leading; the heavy lifting all has been done. Now it’s just getting there, being smart, connecting with my clients, trying to “sell” membership to two different guest organizations, and facilitating 1 1/2 days of meetings and speakers. I am not concerned at all for this – I’m actually looking forward to it.

After dropping off the kids I needed to sit in the ferry parking lot with the car (and heat) on and cry. There are so many things about all of this that are so unfair. After I let it out I got back on the road. I felt much better as soon as I got on the highway and got closer to my house. I pulled up to the house and saw the decorations hanging from our trees and I couldn’t help but smile. I love it here. I felt so much better as soon as I pulled up the driveway. I came inside with a fresh perspective. I made a great dinner of sauteed brussell sprouts, baby kale, leftover rice, and some Guinness poured in. It was amazing. And drank the rest of the Guinness. Yes, feeling much better now. So much better in my own space, with my own things, and with memories of each of my kids with so much joy here.

I can not wait until this divorce is finalized. Being entwined with him is damaging. I know that there will be better days for me ahead. This is a bump in the road but hopefully this bump will not last for long.

Have a great weekend everyone –

– Mama K