April 6: Seeing the fork ahead in the road

What a day. I mean, what a day. I honestly cannot express in words what has happened in my life today. Life takes its twists and turns, and mine took a sharp turn today. For the better, I hope. I believe. I’m starting to see the end of a long journey for me, but I ache for my kids who still do not know what will soon happen to their worlds.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Big Bro woke me up today. He thought for some reason that it was Saturday, and asked if he could watch a movie. I said no and that I had to get up. He thought that was strange since it wasn’t 8:00 AM yet (they’re trained to know that I don’t get up until after 8 AM, we get them to entertain themselves while we get an extra hour). When I said it was Friday, he said, “Ohhh. I forgot.”
  • Red and I talked about dust yesterday. We could see the little speckles in the rays of sunshine in our kitchen. Today we saw them again, and Red and Big Bro were reaching out and catching them.
  • Twin Crazy and Twin Husky’s hair were still all greasy from the A&D. Despite Twin Husky’s two shampooings, he still looked like a guy who puts too much hair care product on. Twin Crazy just looked like a complete mess.
  • Twin Husky decided to take a snooze with his Tigers by his side.
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    We did all the drop offs together. Then co-parent and I had mediation meetings. The meeting was going really well. We were making progress. Decisions were being made. This guy is great. The best use of my money since this whole divorce started. And towards the end I realized that I had a voicemail. I called them back. It had to do with a property. I feel strange disclosing such a big event in my life but I was told on the phone, on the spot, THAT THE SELLERS ACCEPTED MY OFFER FOR A HOME PURCHASE!!!!! I almost started to cry on the spot. This is a big move in the right direction for me and my family. I found a very affordable (but small) home that is zoned to schools that are the best in California. Rated 10/10. With four children, these kids HAVE to go to public school and I am going to be a single mom soon. I have NEVER purchased my own home before and have been ACHING for this for so long. It is small but I love it. It is completely renovated and beautiful. I believe I can make a beautiful home there for the children and feel confident that I have placed and given them the opportunity to be the best that they can be in terms of their education. So keep fingers crossed that all goes well, if so, I will be a home-owner by the end of the month.

    Highlights of the Rest of the Day:

  • I told co-parent about the news and we actually went over there to look at it together. He of course thinks its small but nice. I know we have different priorities and appreciated that he did not completely shit on decision.
  • We picked up the kids and let them each have chocolate chip cookies as a snack before dinner. We picked up the Twins and all kids were outside together talking about their eggs, eating cookies, and looking at jelly beans.
  • We played with bubbles in the backyard for a bit and they were having fun catching bubbles.
  • Twin Husky shoved a pile of pasta into his face for dinner. I guess the kid was really hungry.
  • Big Bro was playing with one of those cheap parachute toys that you throw up in the air and he decided to make it stronger by reinforcing the middle to keep the parachute open. He asked for straws and tape. This kid is quite an engineer already and I am already excited about the possibility of his attending this amazing High School that I was able to grab!
  • Big Bro went outside with co-parent to wash the car and Twin Husky got too cold. He came in and got bundled up. I carried him upstairs for another bath and he was so cute all bundled up like a big fluffy marshmallow.
  • I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime tonight. They were great. I’m typing now in the hallway outside of their room so Red can go to sleep easier.
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    I had such a crazy day today. There is so much going on right now. Three conferences to continue to plan, 2 client projects to end, one divorce to still go through, and a loan process and purchase process to close all in the next two weeks!!!!!! OMG how will I be able to do all of this? And four kids….

    This is what I thrive on. I find it exhilarating. Making change for the better. Finally finding a place to call Home. Scoping out places for a garden. For lemon and orange trees to plant. For blackberry bushes to thrive. A place for growth. And comfort. And safety. Warmth. Peace.

    Well, along with four kids fighting and throwing toys all over the place. And falling down the hill and crying over skinned knees. But I can’t wait to reach for a band-aide in my own bathroom when it happens.

    Although I’m upset for the kids, knowing that their lives are going to soon be turned upside-down, I am excited for this new beginning for us. I will do as much as I can to make their experiences easier.

    Have a great weekend all
    – Mama K


    1. Yay!!!

    2. Natalie says:

      Congratulations!! So happy for you! BTW, try Dawn dish washing liquid on theiri hair but make sure it doesn’t get in their eyes.

    3. Jeanette says:

      So happy for you. Spring is a time for new life and new beginnings. Now you will get to start your new life in your new house which you will make a home for your children. So much to look forward to! As for it being “small” so much the better. Too many people buy these huge houses that then need to be filled up with “stuff”, not to mention need to be cleaned and maintained and then they spend all their time working to pay for everything to keep the place and never get to enjoy it. So I say hooray for “small”- sounds like you have your priorities in order. Best of luck with everything-a light at the end of a long and dark tunnel! Happy Easter to you and yours!

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