April 5: Berries, milk, and bread

I am soooo tired right now I could just collapse. And I’m listening to Red cry for me through the kid monitor. It’s not my night for Red/Big Bro and hearing her makes me ache but I’m just so worn out.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I woke up to Red slowly walking into my room at 6:45 AM. I pulled back the covers for her to jump in. We talked. She was very talkative this morning. Talking about how each of us is different in terms of sleeping in/waking up early, also about eye dirt and her throwing hers on my bed (Yuchh), and how I had a dust bunny on my ceiling. So I grabbed my phone and bought a dust bunny cleaner from Amazon.
  • It was a normal day, normal routine. I had all kids in daycare since I had appointments all afternoon.
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    The Rest of the Day:

  • I picked up Big Bro and Red; Big Bro went on a field trip today to a bakery. So they all had grab bags filled with loaves of different breads. It was AWESOME. So we picked up Twin Crazy / Twin Husky and started to talk about what we were going to have for dinner with all of that yummy bread. Big Bro had the idea of replicating the dinner from “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” – in the end they eat berries, bread, and milk. And that’s what we decided to do too.
  • So we all went to the grocery store to buy berries and milk. The kids were tired and hungry and there were several breakdowns. In fact, due to empathy of the kids, at one point I had all four kids crying just outside of the store. And 3 of the 4 kids wanted to be held. So I put a stop to that. I said no-one was to be held, and put all the kids on a bench and asked them to calm down. I asked them what kinds of berries were we going to buy. They gave each other jobs (Big Bro holds the strawberries, etc.). Then we went in. I said the trip would be FAST. When we paid and left I was thankful to reach the car without any other breakdowns.
  • DINNER WAS AWESOME!!!! But there was a lot of clean up , strangely enough. Lots of bowls.
  • Afterwards I colored with Big Bro
  • I had Twins tonight. They made it upstairs before me and when I got up there all I heard was mischievous giggling. They both had gotten into the big A&D container and proceeded to put globs of A&D all over their faces and in their hair. Ugggh. I tried to wash it out of Twin Husky’s head but it didn’t really come out. I didn’t even bother with Twin Crazy. I’ll do some research to see how to get it out of hair. Any suggestions?
  • The Twins were running around tonight like there was no tomorrow. They were out of control. I tried to read to them 3 times but they were running all over the place and interupting Red/Big Bro. So I called it a night and put them in their cribs without their book. They were not happy about that. Eventurally they got over it , after I went in to see them several times to calm them down and talk to them. I had Twin Crazy smiling at me at the end so I feel good; I also just sat with Twin Husky for awhile which felt good for him and for me.
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    I’m really wiped out. So much going on. I’m looking forward to tomorrow for many reasons.

    Red is still crying and co-parent isn’t able to deal with it. I eventually went up there to talk to her and tuck her in and tell her that everything was OK and that I can hear her if she needs me and that I am right downstairs…. that I would check on her soon to make sure she was OK. I left the room without a cry. Co-parent was downstairs busy on his computer, saying that she needs to learn how to go to sleep by herself. I agree. But she is, right now. She just needs to be acknowledged and consoled, and CERTAINLY NOT IGNORED. She is our “emotionally needy” child and this is the treatment she gets from him.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K


    1. Hi Mama K

      I am so sorry for the difficulty that Red is experiencing. I think your solution of sitting outsider her bedroom was very positive and effective. However, with the inconsistency of alternating nights, I can see how this might be a bit jarring for her. I have 2 separate ideas. In addition to continuing the routine that you have started, consider a team building methodology. Build her up at bedtime by discussing (earlier in the evening) how hard you know bedtime is for her. Acknowledge her fears and insecurities verbally and give her the chance to air them before she goes to bed. Then tell her that you know how hard this time is for her but you know that she is very strong and you are so proud of her for trying her best to manage it. Build her up as much as you can and a recognize any small amount of success she has. If she starts bedtime calm and even goes without crying for 10 minutes. Tell her that you are so proud of her for being so strong and that you know how hard this is for her. Keep track of how long she gets upset for and see if it diminishes over several nights. It can become a game where you tell her that last night she only cried for 15 minutes and that she is definitely conquering her fear. Always letting her know how proud you are. Encourage dad to do the same. This is a common goal for you both because Red will inevitably be in 2 separate environments and she needs to be able to rely on herself to go to bed.

      Also, if she is still napping, consider weaning her off. She is likely not very tired at bedtime if she naps and this enables her to have great staying power in her protest. Good Luck

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