I am soooo tired right now I could just collapse. And I’m listening to Red cry for me through the kid monitor. It’s not my night for Red/Big Bro and hearing her makes me ache but I’m just so worn out.
Highlights of the Morning:
The Rest of the Day:
I’m really wiped out. So much going on. I’m looking forward to tomorrow for many reasons.
Red is still crying and co-parent isn’t able to deal with it. I eventually went up there to talk to her and tuck her in and tell her that everything was OK and that I can hear her if she needs me and that I am right downstairs…. that I would check on her soon to make sure she was OK. I left the room without a cry. Co-parent was downstairs busy on his computer, saying that she needs to learn how to go to sleep by herself. I agree. But she is, right now. She just needs to be acknowledged and consoled, and CERTAINLY NOT IGNORED. She is our “emotionally needy” child and this is the treatment she gets from him.
Til tomorrow –
– Mama K
Mama In Motion™ 
Hi Mama K
I am so sorry for the difficulty that Red is experiencing. I think your solution of sitting outsider her bedroom was very positive and effective. However, with the inconsistency of alternating nights, I can see how this might be a bit jarring for her. I have 2 separate ideas. In addition to continuing the routine that you have started, consider a team building methodology. Build her up at bedtime by discussing (earlier in the evening) how hard you know bedtime is for her. Acknowledge her fears and insecurities verbally and give her the chance to air them before she goes to bed. Then tell her that you know how hard this time is for her but you know that she is very strong and you are so proud of her for trying her best to manage it. Build her up as much as you can and a recognize any small amount of success she has. If she starts bedtime calm and even goes without crying for 10 minutes. Tell her that you are so proud of her for being so strong and that you know how hard this is for her. Keep track of how long she gets upset for and see if it diminishes over several nights. It can become a game where you tell her that last night she only cried for 15 minutes and that she is definitely conquering her fear. Always letting her know how proud you are. Encourage dad to do the same. This is a common goal for you both because Red will inevitably be in 2 separate environments and she needs to be able to rely on herself to go to bed.
Also, if she is still napping, consider weaning her off. She is likely not very tired at bedtime if she naps and this enables her to have great staying power in her protest. Good Luck