March 14: Puddles, worms, and Nana


It’s Wednesday night at 9:45 PM so I am writing this from memory… it will be brief…

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • It was POURING outside; kids were watching the rain and also commenting on the worms. We stood there for awhile looking at the rain and worms together. I talked about how the worms like the water and how when it rains you can usually find some worms on the sidewalk. Twin Husky couldn’t find the worm we were talking about so Big Bro helped him to find it by pointing and talking about where it was.
  • We talked about how Nana was coming in an airplane to visit and how she would be with me when I picked them all up from school. I asked if that was OK and they said YES!
  • When I dropped Big Bro off, he was brave and walked from the car by himself up the driveway to school. The rest of us stayed in the van and watched him go. He said he was going to count the worms he saw on his way into school. The other kids were fast-walking because of the rain but he was slowly walking, taking his time, probably counting the worms he saw.
  • Twin drop off and Red drop off were fine; I carried Red’s blanket and baby doll inside of my own raincoat to keep them dry. Red appreciated that.

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Highlights of My Working Day:

  • I went home and got myself set up. I cleaned up from breakfast, loaded the dishwasher, put some laundry into the dryer. I ate some breakfast, refilled my coffee, and got my computer set up and phones nearby. I was ready.
  • I addressed some emails related to the forums we are planning for April. Also did some miscellaneous sleuthing for a contact name on behalf of one of our directors. I also had to load my old email files into my new computer in order to find these contact names… so it was an inefficient morning.
  • I spent time formalizing the Agendas and timing for 2 of our big meetings in April. It helps to see things concretely and to see where there gaps, if any, in the timing.
  • I did some speaker outreach for both of the forums… confirming spots and also following up with requested information. We are really down to the wire now, the speakers should really be set at this point so I feel a bit under the gun.
  • We had a client conference call to review some analysis. Our team stayed on after the call so we could get ready for our client meeting on Monday. We need to build another analytical model to evaluate the opportunities for the client based upon different dimensions and different scenarios. I tried to get the team on track to 1) refine what we have done so far; and 2) build a working tool for our meeting on Monday; 3) plan for the scenarios and understand which “levers” to pull in the model for which scenario and why; and 4) talk about the discussion document to have to guide this working session with the client on Monday. I’m a bit worried since I won’t be working much from now until then – especially since my mom is here.

I gathered up my things, picked up the kids, and we were all talking about Nana on our way to the airport. Big Bro also told us a story that he said was “bad”. How there was lots of water and how there was a group of worms that were smashed by someone’s feet. And both Big Bro and Red were telling stories about how much it was raining today and how there were piles and puddles of water everywhere. I handed out graham crackers, we picked up my mom, and ordered a pizza before heading home in the rain in great spirits.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • It was a fun reunion with Nana. The kids were really running around and full of energy.
  • We cleaned up the toys a bit to make the place seem less of a disaster; Red used the dust-buster, Big Bro started wiping up spots off of the rug, I tried to get the twins to work on the puzzles but they just wanted to play with water and dump water everywhere.
  • Pizza came; the kids were going nuts. “Hello Pizza man!!!”
  • Twin Husky really wanted to play with Red’s baby doll and blanket. He kept putting the baby on a pillow and covering it with the blanket. He even fed it with a bottle a couple of times. So cute.
  • The kids were very physical after dinner. Lots of tumbling, tickling, horsie rides, and airplane rides.
  • I did bedtime routine with the boys – this was different. Twin Husky went down without a problem. He loves to sleep. Big Bro was easier during the routine since it was just me and him. He was very cooperative and we read together and then he was quietly doing his Legos before jumping into bed.

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I’m now finishing this write-up and its 10 PM. Red was having problems going to sleep so I had to go upstairs to soothe her. I don’t like holding her hand or rubbing her back to get her to go to sleep… instead I like to hold her, calm her down, talk to her, ask her if there is anything specific that she wants to talk about, ask her about her feelings (is she scared? sad? isn’t sure?). I feel so bad for her, especially when I’m sitting next to her in her bed and prying my arm away from her grip. Especially when I’m looking into her eyes and they seem so sad to me.

I’m glad my mom’s here.

Till tomorrow –
– Mama K

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Comments

  1. Hey There Mama K. Today seems like a good day to share unsolicited advice. Heck, what day isn’t good for unsolicited advice. Your sweet girl, Red, is likely very empathetic in that she is likely internalizing the stress of the divorce and that disrupted her bedtime routine and sleep pattern. Aside from all the obvious circumstances, she is also at the age where sleep disruption occurs in some children. It is important at these times, that you try heartily to maintain routine (which obviously is impossible in your circumstances with split nights), but I would encourage you to try hard to stick to a bedtime regime that you previously adhered to in easier times. It seems that Red is becoming more and more dependent on you to get her to sleep and ease her back to sleep in the night. She is naturally going to seek out your comfort (even if subconsciously). By holding her hand at bedtime and by soothing her in the middle of the night, you incorporate yourself into her sleep routine. You are an amazing mom with powerful nurturing skills and I understand that your current situation fuels all those nurturing and comforting strengths into overdrive. I caution you with this only because my running partner struggled with this with her 4 yr old. He would wake sometimes twice a night and would require one parent to lay down with him to go to sleep. The same was at bedtime. She found it difficult to wake up for our 5:30 AM runs because she had already been awake twice. This situation endured for 7 months. So here was there remedy. They placed a chair in the room and one parent sat in it at bedtime. No touching or contact was given to aid with sleep….just presence. Gradually, over time, they moved the chair closer and closer to the door until the chair was no longer in the room. The idea is to extricate yourself from the sleep pattern. This technique can be applied at any point so if you and Red both need the nurturing right now, then you could put it off, but keep in mind that the longer the sleep disruptions occur, the more time will be needed to readjust.

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