March 8: Skinned knees

I wasn’t working today and stayed home with my Munchkins. I decided to give Red the option if she wanted to stay home with us; she said yes, which REALLY pissed Big Bro off as I drove him to school.

Highlights of the Morning:

  • Red woke up at 1 AM screaming. It woke me up without the monitor. I go upstairs and Daddy says from his room that “he’s not doing it”. I shake my head but go downstairs since the plan is for me to be “off” when he is “on”. This is what the kids are going to have to get used to. I turn the monitor on downstairs and hear him say something about having to go to work tomorrow. But Red is still screaming. I wait 15 minutes. Now Big Bro is calling through the monitor for me to come up and help. I find Red in the corner of her bed screaming. I hold her to calm her down. I tell her it’s OK to feel scared. That sometimes people feel scared and its OK. I offer suggestion to clap the scary things away and I do this several times. She is calm. I put her in bed. I say that it’s OK. She wants to hold my hand and I do briefly then pull away. She reaches out to me but I say its OK. She drifts to sleep without my hand, and me farther away in room, almost out of sight. She sleeps through the rest of the night.
  • I wake up to Red at 7 AM in my room, making my bed while I am still in it. She is laughing. She is telling me that it’s time to get up.
  • Twin Husky eats like a teenager – must be a growth spurt.
  • Twin Husky follows around Big Bro and then Big Bro starts acting silly, dancing around, and Twin Husky is following in his footsteps to a T. Twin Husky looks up to him so much. Wants to do everything like him. So cute.
  • We get into the car to drop of Big Bro. He is still mad at me for taking him to school.
  • On the way home we pull into the ferry parking lot to look at the ferry drive away. We talk about the boat and the people and say bye-bye to the ferry as it travels to the city.
  • At home, we play with play-dough. The kids make me “food” since it is a kitchen set too. Red makes me pizza, and then Twin Husky makes me pizza, and Twin Crazy is busy cooking with the play-dough stove.
  • We head outside since it is beautiful out. They all have scooters. Twin Crazy falls and skins a knee. We also start playing with balls.
  • I brown a cut of beef and put it in the slow cooker. I clean up a bit and even wipe down the fridge. The kids are all playing outside and it feels good for me to do this while I have energy.
  • We play outside; we eat lunch; kids take naps. I straighten up and take care of emails.
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    Highlights of the Afternoon and Evening:

  • Twins wake up from their naps; we go outside on scooters again. Twin Crazy falls and skins her other knee. I give her band-aids for both knees.
  • Red wakes up; Twin Crazy shows her the bandaids on her knees. We eat Oreos and head off to get Big Bro from school. We save him a fist-full of Oreos.
  • At home all kids are outside. We are having too much fun with scooters, strollers, and balls. Big Bro and I are kicking balls back and forth. They are bouncing off of the house, slamming into the bushes, and several went over fences. We laughed. Big Bro has great coordination and is a natural athlete. I would say “whoa” to one of his kicks and Twin Husky would parrot it afterwards. It was a lot of fun laughing and playing ball. Kicking for real with my son. I know in a few short years it will be Big Bro and Twin Husky doing this and they won’t want me around kicking balls to them. So I take this in now while I can.
  • Twin Husky falls several times because of those damn boots that he insists on wearing.
  • Red falls and skins a knee. All kids want to look at it.
  • Big Bro is busy with a stool trying to look over the fence to see where the balls are. He can’t see a thing because of all the trees. Twin Crazy and Twin Husky are scaling a trelice and it breaks away from the wooden fence.
  • Twin Crazy starts to fill up water cups from the refrigerator and gets herself soaked.
  • I cook the rest of dinner. Red rests on the couch from her skinned knee.
  • All the food goes. Kids think they deserve dessert. Big Bro goes into the freezer for ice-cream. I swiftly take it away since it is MINE. We decide to do movie-night instead, with popcorn, since they will be leaving tomorrow afternoon and therefore missing our standard Friday movie nights.
  • I had Big Bro and Red for bedtime tonight. They were great. He set out his bike helmet right next to his pile of clothes so that he could be ready very fast tomorrow AM (he gets his bike privilege back tomorrow).
  • Big Bro asked me: “Why did the cow cross the road?” I reply, “Why?”. He responds: “Because it wanted to get hit by a car.” I started cracking up so loudly I just couldn’t believe the humor and how he told the joke and how goofy he is. Red was laughing at both of us. I had to reach out and hug him.
  • Red had a hard time going to sleep. I calmed her down and sat with her for a bit. She drifted off to sleep (NOT holding my hand) and I thought to myself that she might be the most beautiful child in the world….
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    I’m pretty tired and am looking forward to sleep. I ache for the kids and I miss them already. I know they will have fun but I do not trust what will be said to them while they are away. They’ve been put in the middle in the past and that was pre-separation; I can’t even imagine what will be said now that the situation has changed so much for the worse. I honestly hope that they are reasonable enough to keep the kids out of it.

    I had a really good day today. I feel like I had a chance to be a parent and also a kid myself today. I had some great belly-laughs and saw sides of the kids that are new to me. I feel a bit lonely already for the weekend without them but at the same time am excited about my plans. The pain from a skinned knee is sharp at first but then fades as you get used to it and your body heals. That is all I can hope for myself for this weekend and in the future during the times without the kids.

    Til tomorrow –
    – Mama K

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