February 10: A difficult but fun day too

Happy Friday!
I was not working today but had all of the kids in daycare anyway – for two reasons: 1) I volunteered at Big Bro’s school today; and 2) I had a mediation meeting relating to the divorce.
So, it has been an emotionally draining day. I’m absolutely wiped out. There’s some truth to “one step forward two steps back” – although we are getting closer to clarity, rehashing the past and thinking about what could have been is really, really hard for me. Our financial situation and quality of life could have been better elsewhere – I honestly feel that in the depths of who I am. But I need to move forward. And keep my priorities where they need to be.

Like, for example:

  • Asking Twin Crazy and Twin Husky “who wants to get their diaper changed first?” and then both of them running away from me, Twin Crazy hiding behind Red, and calling out the others’ name. And then I ask, “Who wants to give Mommy a hug??” and then Twin Crazy comes RUNNING and laughing so I change her first.
  • Twin Husky still wanting to wear Red’s new shoes, even on top of his PJs. Notice his fluffy, clean Tigers in the picture.
  • Red doing my nails with her child nail polish. I picked two colors (silver glitter, purple) and she alternated my fingernails between the two colors.
  • The walk/bike ride to Big Bro’s school included Twin Husky and Twin Crazy wearing helmets. They see Big Bro with his helmet and Twin Husky demanded to wear Red’s. Then Twin Crazy wanted to wear a helmet since Twin Husky was wearing one.
  • Volunteering at Big Bro’s school and all of the kids playing with me and knowing me and calling me “Tyler’s mommy”. I had a lot of fun with them today – they were celebrating their 100th day at school and I was at the activity station where the kids were making stamping books. I love working with the kids, encouraging them, laughing with them… I was joking with them that I was going to eat their cereal necklaces since I didn’t eat enough breakfast and they were cracking up.
  • We watched TV after dinner and the twins kept climbing on me. They are both excited about their birthdays this weekend.
  • As I sit here in bed, the kids are singing Valentines songs into the “kid monitor” and asking me after each song if I liked it or not. I say “yes sweetie” but to them, upstairs, what I say sounds garbled so they repeat the garbled sound back into the monitor. I’m cracking up downstairs and knowing that one day I will miss these days, even though they are difficult for me.
  • So that’s about all I want to write for now. I’m really tired…
    Til next week –
    – Mama K







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