February 8: Motion


Wednesday – my 1/2 work and on flex time. I’m writing this at the end of the day so this is likely to be brief:

Highlights of the Morning:

  • I woke up feeling great. I got showered and dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans, and was upstairs with all the kids as they got up. Diaper changes with the Twins is best while in their room since it’s warmer up there. They are so sweet. Twin Husky had his hair all over the place and he is so cuddly and warm. So sweet.
  • I grabbed oatmeal for the girls and got Big Bro’s breakfast ready; also packed up the bags and got clothes ready for everyone.
  • Twin Crazy helped me unload the dishwasher. She is very helpful these days.
  • Big Bro’s foot went through his gaping hole in the other knee of his jeans. I give up. He thought it was hysterical (so did I).
  • Big Bro wanted to ride his bike to school. THIS WAS A FIRST FOR US!!! We met up with the Motley Crew and I was a bit nervous since I knew Big Bro was probably a bit anxious. He did great. Did not fall once, and even went ahead with the kids towards the end of the ride. At the end, his face was beaming and one of his crew wanted to lock his bike with Big Bro’s. So cute. I’m so proud of him.
  • I strolled the Twins to daycare and we talked about the fog, how it looked like the clouds were hanging low, and how we could feel wetness on our faces. Twin Crazy pointed and talked about the dogs along the way.
  • I walked back home, feeling really good. I felt the blood pumping through my body as I walked and it felt good to be going at a fast pace. It felt good to be moving. To be headed somewhere. I was thinking about the work I needed to do. I had things to get done, but nothing too overwhelming. I felt happy to be headed home to work. To have a short but productive day.
  • I got home, grabbed some breakfast, loaded the dishwasher, threw some clothes in the dryer, straightened up a bit, and got my computer/phones set up for the working day.

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Highlights of My Working Day:
I actually got a lot done today

  • I went back and forth via email related to some work I might be doing for a separate project – they need some market interviews done and I want to make sure I understand the client and the product before I set up interviews – I don’t want to waste my limited time talking to the wrong part of the market.
  • I documented the planning meeting minutes for both of our forums in April. This actually helped me organize my thoughts on what I had to do soon to get these meetings planned.
  • I also started to think through the polling that we may want to do with the participants so we can plan an Agenda that is the most valuable for them. I drafted the topic content into survey format and am hoping I can offload the coding to someone else to get this done and out.
  • I reached out to some potential speakers for one of the forums. We received a positive response back so I am pumped!!!!!
  • I then packed everything away – cords, computers, phones, papers. I’m getting the kids!

The Rest of the Day:

  • I picked up Big Bro first and he had a great time riding his bike to the van.
  • We then waited for Red to wake up from her nap. While waiting, we thumb-wrestled.
  • Big Bro, Red, and I then went shopping for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky’s birthday. Red actually mentioned it to her teachers but she didn’t mention that I was going to “steal” her earlier today. So she was excited about going shopping with us today.
  • They were great at Wal-mart. The only things on the list were presents for Twin Crazy and Twin Husky, and also party decorations. Nothing else. They had great self-control. We picked their presents and decided on Sponge Bob for the theme of their party. Big Bro helped to put all of our items on the cashier belt. He was very proud of his efforts.
  • We then went to get Twin Crazy and Twin Husky. It was really early – 3:30 PM. Once at home, I gave them a snack and then decided to take them for a walk.
  • The walk was great. Big Bro was on his bike, Red was on her scooter, Twin Crazy was on a tricycle (that I pushed), and Twin Husky decided to walk his Tigers in a toy stroller (along with a helmet). Again it felt good to be moving. To be strolling with the kids. The weather was great and the sun was out. I was feeling like life was pretty good then and now. The children in great spirits, enjoying the outside, moving their bodies, and each moving in their own way. We are a collective little unit but again we are individuals. Everyone moving their own way – but also helping each other along the way. Twin Husky kept asking about Big Bro, who kept riding ahead of us or circling around to ride behind and away from us. They were so cute. Big Bro was even getting brave and testing his bike and his riding and balancing abilities… riding/coasting with his feet off the pedals…. so brave. We had a great time and even met some strangers along the way who might turn out to be great friends!
  • I made dinner – fish, string beans, rice. Kids were eating well. They had some nervous energy so I put them to work cleaning up their toys.
  • I read a book to Red about friendship and then we went to look at her class picture and we talked about the names of all of her friends at school.
  • After dinner I folded laundry while the kids watched a movie. It was a cute night. They all went to bed easily. Big Bro read a book to us. This is the first night that Red is not crying herself to sleep.

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I had a great day. I feel like I accomplished things at work during the 1/2 day, got a lot of things done around the house, and had a great time with all of the kids. They are amazing. I am very lucky.

I am not thrilled about divorce and am scared of the outcome. I’m scared about strangers potentially deciding on the future of our children. This is going to have such an impact on their lives and affect them in ways I can’t even wrap my head around. This just isn’t right. I don’t think I’m an ordinary mother. I feel so in tune with each of these kids. And I enjoy being a mom. How is it possible that I can be taken away from a part of their lives? How could this be seen as in their best interest??!??!?!??!? Can’t we find a way to both be integral in their lives without the other being torn away???!?!?!?!??!

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K

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Comments

  1. This is what I find so interesting about this phase in my life. The distance that comes with the word Divorce. It is everywhere. We did try. 2011 was a year of tears everyday for me, two marrriage therapists, bill not knowing what to do and being completely uncommunicative, and more therapists. He filed for divorce. And he is suing me for alimony and child support. So it takes two to tango and he is to be judged far worse than I, in my opinion.

  2. Kim, your comment of, “Can’t we find a way to both be integral in their lives without the other being torn away???!?!?!?!??!” has one answer– not with a divorce. That’s why divorce is so hard on kids, it rips apart their entire life and foundation. It’s very very sad, so if there is ANY way possible , the best scenario unless it’s dangerous obviously is to try to make it work. Separate rooms, or simply staying together and living for the children. Hope I didnt cross any lines, I feel for you and for the kids, and for Bill. Again, call anytime, and I’ll just listen if that’s what you need. It is exactly how you feel though, a stranger and judge ruling what’s “fair” since you guys can’t work it out alone. Sad and really rotten for the kids.
    Hugs,
    Kate.

    • Katie, I love your directness and I concur. Divorce is messy and life altering for all involved. I have many friends who are divorced and I see their struggles and those of their kids and life can certainly be a frustration for them. My mom did not want to put our family through this so she stayed in an unhappy marriage until my youngest brother was 18 and an adult. Though not abusive, my father was emotionally cold and difficult to live with. When I was 13, I asked my mom to divorce my dad and she told me that she would not leave until we were all out of the house. She perceived our life to better with my dad’s income, we lived well….good schools…good neighborhoods and all our wants met. My mom was also able to be a stay at home mom. Looking back, I have no idea how my life would have turned out if I had been a bi-product of a divorced family. I don’t even know if I would be who I am now, but I must offer food for thought (because that is what I do). Living in a home of a loveless marriage and various tensions formed an integral part of who I am. I was very co-dependent as a teen. I always needed a steady boyfriend therefore, I dated very little and married with little life experience. My need for a companion, drove many of my decisions, that kept me from traveling, going far away to school, and even seeking employment in all available options. I made safe choices and now I feel like I deprived myself of many experiences. Today, I am happy and try to pursue as many new experiences as I can. I wholeheartedly believe, that there is not one right choice. Regardless, of whether you leave a marriage or endure one, there are always consequences. That saying “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction” is definitely applicable. No choice in this scenario is easy and without incident. It is a mixed bag in any configuration. So Katie, I love your honest perspective and Kim I wish you so much luck with your choices.

      • You are totally correct when you say consequences. Your dad being cold and your mom sacrificing would not be ideal, but i think what your mother might have been trying to prevent was another woman raising her kids, or another person coming in and out of their lives. She would rather sacrifice and be there with you than leave. And I do agree with you wholeheartedly, newtons 2nd law applies everywhere. There is no way to know how you would have turned out, but I would be thankful that I had such a strong mother. The choice can only be made by the individual, I would just rather not have a judge and lawyer dictating how frequently I see my kids, and which holidays, and what kind of new woman will be in and out of their lives. I do not think anyone should stay in an abusive relationship, like drugs, alcohol or violence, in only saying that if there is another way, try it first before divorce. And by no means does the fault and burden solely lie with the woman. Marriage is a partnership, and love is full of awe, admiration and respect for the other.

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