February 1: Breakdowns

Today is so unusual for so many reasons! Right now I am working in an Audi dealership, where our car is being serviced for a recall. They have comfy couches, a starbucks coffee machine, and snacks. I love it (for now). I’m working 1/2 day and will have the kids in the afternoon.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • I woke up tired this morning. Last night, at 1 AM, I heard Red crying through the “kid monitor” (a baby monitor that we call “kid monitor” so I can hear them in the night while they are upstairs and I am downstairs in the guest room). I went to her. I couldn’t understand what the problem was. She was pushing me away. I finally just grabbed her and picked her up. She had peed herself. So I got her changed, said it was OK, and stripped her bed. It was too wet for her to sleep off to the side. She wanted to sleep in Daddy’s room so I brought her in there.
  • It was a typical morning, kids eating and getting dressed, while Big Bro slagging behind. I think it would help if we had a fourth stool – but at this point I’m not going to go ahead and buy anything – unless it’s out of “family funds” and we are short on cash flow at the moment.
  • Twin Crazy wanted to put her socks on and off, and also tried to put Red’s pajamas on over her own. She did the same with a pair of Red’s underwear.
  • NO LUNCHES FOR RED! Starting today at her daycare, they are providing snacks and lunches. So no lunchbox for her! YEAH! (Although she did adore her Dora lunchbox, recently purchased).
  • Big Bro was still sulking about his Legos. We had to go to the mailbox together to check that they were not in there. I asked Daddy to please talk to Big Bro about when they will be delivered so that Big Bro can at least set his expectations. These tantrums every single day is draining on me and he should have been told this up front. He does fine when he at least knows what day the items will arrive.
  • Drop offs were fine. Red and I dropped off Big Bro and I lifted her up to the window so she could see how Big Bro takes out his lunchbox, picks out a snack for the basket, and then goes into his classroom. Red and I walked together to the car for her drop off.
  • There was a lizard “dragon” in her class today. He is the pet of one of the teacher’s sons. It was so cute to see all of the kids circling around the lizard. As soon as Red walked into the room her friends started telling her about the dragon. It seems like she has a lot of “friends” there in her class. It was so cool. It ate a mouse last night. I’m thinking a “dragon lizard” will not be my pet of choice for the kids in the future.
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    As I was leaving Red’s pre-school the Associate Director asked me if everything was OK. I guess the look on my face said it all. I’m worried about the kids. I’m seeing some effects on Red already. She is so clingy. She peed her bed last night. And things didn’t even really get started yet for our family. I am still in the same house with them. We are not shuffling back and forth. I just sat with this woman and cried for a bit, feeling for the kids and telling her that they don’t know anything yet so it will just get worse for them, but I would keep them in the loop with everything so that they can help support Red if/when she needs it.

    So now I’m at the Audi dealership, waiting for a recall servicing. There are limited outlets so electricity may be an issue. I hope I am productive today at work. I need this job. I need to get things done today. My goal is the meeting minutes for the planning meetings for the Forums – I need to get a jump on planning those meetings because I have 2 other initiatives to push forward and it looks like we will be starting a project soon….. so, I need to take advantage of this time BEFORE the project starts or else I will be crushed [I can’t let that happen].

    Highlights of My Working Day:

  • Just check out this setup!!!!
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  • I did some sales outreach for a forum we are launching, and also followed up with a client who we prepared a proposal – it is in a holding pattern due to a corporate-wide reorganization. So we’ll have to be patient.
  • We won the project from the power-meeting I went to two weeks ago. We start on the 13th. Oh shit. Now I’m going to get busy….. I don’t know whether to be happy for job security or cry. I just need good staff to work the project – otherwise I get crushed. So fingers crossed…
  • I don’t remember what else I did today. I don’t think I was very productive for work. I will likely work tonight a bit to feel good about my day.
  • Rest of the Day:

  • I picked up Big Bro at 1:30. We ran an errand, and then we went to Ross. He’s been rejecting all of his shirts recently and wanted Star Wars shirts. They had Lightening McQueen so we grabbed two of them and he is happy. While we were there I saw a cute Dora princess outfit for Red so got that for her.
  • We then went to pick up Red; from there we went to pick up their ceramic sculpture paintings from the other day. Red’s “Angry Bird” bank is toooo cute. Big Bro liked his truck.
  • We stopped at Trader Joe’s quickly and Big Bro had a melt-down. Full fledged. I never saw one like that from him in public before. He was just too tired I guess. Too much running around. I got some stuff and left quickly.
  • We picked up Twin Crazy and Twin Husky at 4:00. We went home and played. Big Bro put together a new Star Wars Lego set all by himself (and was in a MUCH better mood). Twin Husky, Twin Crazy, and Red were playing stickers. And doing manicures with kid nail polish. We played trains. We played cooking. They ran around and I tickled them. Red was pretending that I was shopping and she was the employee and I had to sign to buy things from her.
  • We had a great dinner of fish, quinoa, peas, tomatoes and cheese. Everyone ate well. The kids really like fish.
  • Afterwards we played some more – Twin Husky loves the trains and Twin Crazy loves interrupting his play. Twin Crazy worked on puzzles. She went 1/2 poop in the potty. Twin Husky walked around with a huge bag filled with stuff – a bag man.
  • Bedtime was cute. Red’s bed is clean. The older kids read quickly and talked about the day. I held Twin Crazy for a bit in dark and rocked her. Twin Husky was patting some dolls in his bed and asked me to cover all of them.
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    I’m in my room, listening to Big Bro and Red through the monitors. They talk about Legos and family members and about tricking each other and about poop. Then Big Bro eventually talks to me through the monitor: “Mommy, we’re going to sleep now.”. So cute. They know I am there listening to them. I say “I love you” from my room but I bet they can barely hear me since they are upstairs. I had a great afternoon with them.

    Now I hear their slow breathing. They are asleep. I am close behind them.

    Till tomorrow –
    – Mama K


    1. Thank goodness for Legos. They are therapy for boys.

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