October 25: Too many emotions….

Hmmmm. What did we do today? I’m right now in bed, feeling completely wiped out and trying to think through to this morning, which feels like months ago.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

• I know there was an early morning waking from Twin Husky. The East Coast time difference has been the hardest on him. He eventually went back to sleep after some reassurance, but then Red crawled into our bed 10 minutes later. She rested while playing with her fingers.
• The morning was our usual… except that we were still struggling with lack of food. We managed to do Chocolate Tuesday tortillas and raisin bread, and pasta for lunch. The Twins ate an enormous amount of oatmeal. I think Twin Crazy had 2 1/2 packages just on her own.
• I got the kids dressed in their Halloween t-shirts and tried to get a picture of all of them together, but Red was not cooperating.

• The 3 drop offs with Hubby drop off went fine. I was working from home today.

Highlights of My Working Day:

• Pot of coffee. No shower. Fistfulls of Cheerios shoved in my mouth.
• Conference call for 1.5 hours to review analysis that we will present at the forum next week. I provided my thoughts for improvements and how to pull out the “drivers” of what we were seeing in the numbers.
• I took a break to get to Big Bro’s school since I was volunteering for his lunch hour. He held it together a little bit, but completely lost it. He gets so upset and anxious when his worlds collide. And it breaks my heart. Especially since now the kids are old enough to notice and ask why he is crying. I don’t know what to do in these instances. Come to his rescue, which only exacerbates the problem — or, throw him to the world and force him to deal with the situation? I am at a loss now since I’ve also signed up for other volunteer spots through this week and I just can’t bear to see him in the anguish and it takes such a toll on me too…
• I go to lunch afterwards and force down some Pad Thai. My head is killing me. My body is aching and my head is spinning. I feel like crawling in a fetal position under the table at the restaurant.
• As soon as I get back home, I learn that one of our speakers has dropped out of the Agenda for next week’s meeting. OMFG. Now what am I going to do? How will I even manage to secure a speaker in one week’s time?
• I then start a conference call with a prospective client who attended the forums we recently conducted — he reached out to me personally and our company is going to propose on a business strategy related to our area of expertise – this could potentially be a VERY large project, and we are very well positioned to win it. And it was MY relationship and MY lead!!! I will likely develop the proposal and serve as an advisor to the project but am hesitant to take on too much of the heavy-lifting if we win it.
• I then grabbed Big Bro early from after-care and took him jacket shopping. I like doing these kinds of things one on one with him; especially after the emotional day he had at school.

Dinner and Bedtime:

• Mac-n-cheese and broccoli! Thank goodness Safeway arrived with our delivery! We now have food in the house! Yeah!!!

I can’t write much more tonight; I’ve had a pretty emotional evening and overall day – filled with ups and downs, mostly downs I think. I’m mentally drained and can’t believe I’m at the keyboard now.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K