September 8: Mommy!!!! I ate all my lunch today!!!!

This was a pretty good morning. Good mix of fun and tears.

Highlights of the Morning and Commute:

  • Red winds up in our bed at 6:30 AM as usual. She is completely dressed for pre-school.
  • Hubby takes shower while I grab the Twins. Each are up, laughing, while Big Bro is in their room hiding under his blanket. He loves entertaining them. I diaper the twins and they are busy talking to me while I do this. So cute.
  • Big Bro hangs out with me while I shower; the rest are downstairs eating breakfast with Hubby.
  • When I get downstairs, Big Bro has already headed to the train set and set up some tracks. BIG NO NO. NO TOYS BEFORE BREAKFAST AND GETTING DRESSED!!!! He should know better than this. I am not happy. We need these kids “on” for food and clothes in the AM or else we really run the risk of being late.
  • Twins want up out of their seats. Twin Crazy is clingy. Wants to be held so she can see what’s going on. I have Red help me make my instant coffee and we talk about each step with Twin Crazy. She loves that.
  • I get bag ready. Wow. We are early. All kids are getting their shoes on and getting ready for the van but it is only 7:30.
  • We decide to do all 3 drop offs together since we have time on our side. While I’m upstairs getting my jacket, I hear MASSIVE screaming from multiple kids downstairs… even Big Bro is calling up for me to come downstairs QUICK. Apparently Red and Twin Crazy were both in the double stroller (probably standing up) and the thing tipped over. They were both fine but very scared. Poor things. I sat there hugging them for awhile and saying it was OK but it was probably really scary for them. I gathered all kids out of the garage until we were REALLY ready to leave.
  • OK! 7:45!!! Time to go!
  • 1st drop off: REd. Big Bro wants to go too so we tell them it has to be QUICK. Twins are talking on the way over there. “Boat.” I am starting to put on my make up (9 AM meeting that I will be late for.. .so need to be ready in advance). Drop off is fast, but we are there so early that the routine is a little different – all kids are dropped off in the middle of the center until 8 AM when their “real” teachers arrive. REd is hesitant at first but doesn’t skip a beat. She does fine playing with pegs as Big Bro and I leave.
  • 2nd drop off: Twins. No problem. We tell her that Twin Crazy has had a hard morning.
  • 3rd drop off: Big Bro. We all get out of the car and play in the playground until 8:10 when the kids line up with their teachers. In the meantime I push Big Bro on a swing REAL high and he (and I) have a blast.
  • Hubby drops me off at Ferry station – plenty of time. Our entire drop off routine lasted 35 minutes this morning. He has another meeting so will not be taking the ferry today.

Now I’m on the ferry, with make up on and a coffee. The sky looks hazy and it looks colder today. Today at work we have a 3 hour strategy session for our team; I will be presenting on two topics. I’ve been there for 7 years now and am viewed as a valued contributor, which makes me feel good. We tend to hear the same things over and over through the years at these meetings, but our team now looks so different than we had in the past. We are poised for change and may actually have an appetite to do things differently than we have before. I’m excited to hear if that will be the attitude and direction that we take….

Highlights of my Working Day:

  • Had a 4 hour strategy meeting with our team; gave two presentations on areas to grow our revenues
  • did follow up sales efforts for a meeting in October
  • did other miscellaneous admin work, including setting up final meetings with the colleague who is transferring her responsibilities to me

I’m on the ferry home now. I remembered to bring the fruit I bought yesterday. I will likely work from home tomorrow so I also have my work computer. I have a heavy load today.

I’m also carrying a heavy load in my heart. I’ve been trying to advocate change for my family for over a year and it feels like we’re still in status quo. This is so unacceptable and frustrating for me. I feel helpless and trapped and I’m so tired of having the same one-way conversations over and over and over and over again. My throat hurts I’ve been talking so much. My head hurts. Sometimes I just want to go to sleep to keep from thinking. So, I guess I’m not in a good mood. I’m not sure if seeing my kids will swing me out of it either.

Dinner and Bedtime:

  • I am surprised to get picked up by our mini-van while I’m walking home from the ferry.
  • Red: “Mommy I ate all my lunch today!!!” She is so proud.
  • We put together an EASY quick dinner – mac-n-cheese and hot dogs. Hubby makes dinner while I play with kids. Today Big Bro and Red are interested in cars so Red takes out the “car mat” with all of the roads where they can pretend to drive.
  • The Twins are interested in the trains and also the cars, going back and forth, and Twin Crazy is even sitting on the car mat with her choo-choo train tracks and trains.
  • We eat quickly. Fruit for dessert (I almost broke an arm carrying it all back). I wind up with 3 kids on my lap and then at one point all of the kids are laughing and babbling at full throttle, on purpose. It was really funny. I wish I grabbed a movie of it.
  • Red: “Mommy I ate all my lunch today!!!” She is so proud.
  • I talk to Big Bro and REd about doing something nice for the fire-fighters this Sunday (9/11). We think about what would be nice to get them ask presents — card games, cross word puzzles, snacks. Big Bro goes to our cabinet and picks out a pudding box. He wants to wrap it NOW to be part of the basket. He is excited about this project. I mention that I will pick Big Bro and Red up early tomorrow and we can go shopping together for other things for the basket – and on Sunday we can walk over to the fire station and deliver it to them, and say thank-you to them. This is something that I would like to do each year, and Hubby agrees that it would be nice to do. Once Big Bro gets a bit older and he loses his innocence the tone of the tradition will obviously change – I can wait for that.
  • OK! Time to go up! We are moving bedtime up a bit these days since Big Bro is always so tired. I change the Twins into PJs – I love doing this with them. That’s when I get to focus on them.
  • Red: “Mommy I ate all my lunch today!!!” She is so proud.
  • Upstairs singing and reading to the Twins is just so sweet. Twin Husky is focused on colors in a book. Twin Crazy loves singing and using her hands for Twinkle, Twinkle, etc. They are so sweet. Their worlds are opening up in front of my eyes.
  • Big Bro and Red are already brushed, peed, and changed by the time we get to them. They are making it easier and easier for us each night. We pick out their clothes for tomorrow. Books went great.
  • Red: “Mommy I ate all my lunch today!!!” She is so proud.

I wonder what we will pack for lunch tomorrow…. the pressure is on.

Til tomorrow –
– Mama K


  1. Mama K,
    You are making progress. It may not be on the timeline that you envisioned but your posts and efforts to get input from others, have put you on the right course. You actually have all the answers, you merely haven’t found the medium to get where you want to be. It is within reach so don’t despair. In 2 short months since you started this blog, you have gained so much insight. Just like work or school, this too is a process that is not completed quickly. Celebrate the decisions for change that you have made and continue to look for the way to achieve it. You are so close. We will chat about this over Martinis soon.

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