Ok, so this post is largely a test… this will be my first posting discussing the highlights of the morning with the kids, my working day, and the “witching hour(s)” with the cranky tired kids. I’m anxious to see how much time the effort takes – but excited too since there was a lot of good content going on in our house today.
Highlights of the morning and commute:
- I wake up at 7 AM to get ready. “Getting ready” is quite abbreviated these days…. I take a quick shower and quickly throw on the clothes that I set out the night before. I simply comb my wet, straight hair — it is long and I will either sweep back with a ponytail or a clip. I save make up for later – at work.
- While getting ready, Twin Husky decides to walk up the stairs by himself and greet me. “Hi Sweetie!!!” Hugs and kisses. He is so lovable. He watches me brush my hair so I then sit with him on the floor brushing his hair and telling him how handsome he is. He wanders about while I finish getting ready.
- I hear some crying downstairs… a breakdown. I think it is Red.
- Big Bro comes up for a visit, with his sound machine (he has always had trouble going to sleep and this was one of our tools that we tried several years back… it appears that he found it again). “Mommy can you plug this in?” “Yes, of course sweetie.” “Mommy, I wish I were grown up so I could use plugs and be tall like Daddy.” “Yes, and Daddy sure is tall…”
- I gather the kid clothes for the day – Big Bro, Red, and also a weeks worth of clothes for Twin Husky, requested by daycare. Big Bro wants his OLD shorts, not his new shorts which he rejected after we purchased 4 pairs.
- Downstairs, Red is having an issue, on the floor. It likely has something to do with breakfast. I think our kitchen cabinet is out of oatmeal. I sit on the floor with her and ask her if she wants to go “shopping” with me. Just me and her. We hold hands and run into the garage (I keep extra non-perishable food in the garage on shelves, I guess its the Italian in me that always craves an overabundance of food). I explain that the 3 boxes of oatmeal are there for her, and only her. Our back-and-forth conversation goes like this: Does Daddy eat it? No. Does Big Bro? No. Does Twin Crazy? No. Does Twin Husky? No. Well then, WHO eats it???????. ME!!!!! with a big smile on her face and an unsolicited hug from this little sweetie. I feel on top of the world whenever I fix the issue. However, this feeling does not last for long. Literally 20 seconds later while leaving the garage I accidently step on her toe and she is thrown into another crying fit. Shit!!
- Twin Crazy is walking around “talking” eating bananas. Twin Husky is eating bread and raisins. Big Bro is finishing up a bagel. Thanks hubby for getting them all set up. Red proceeds to eat 2 ½ packages of oatmeal (she boycotted dinner the night before).
- Big Bro requests his sound machine. Now imagine the sounds of fog-horns filling up our kitchen and living room.
- I put a cup of water in microwave for instant coffee. This is the only luxury I give myself in the morning.
- Big Bro spreads out his clothes on the floor as lillypads and proceeds to act like a frog hopping on them.
- Twin Crazy is sneezing non stop and hubby and I are running for tissues non-stop. This is a doozy I hope does not spread to the rest.
- Big Bro fills up a cup by himself with ice-water. He is proud that he has filled his drink to the top “like mommy does”. He proceeds to accidently dump the entire (full) tall cup of ice-water on Twin Husky’s head while I’m giving the poor guy a diaper change (he was already cold to begin with, all exposed and all, and then imagine getting doused with ice-water on top of that). So much for all that hair brushing earlier in the morning. He cries a bit since he scared, but then we all start laughing. “That must have been scary for you sweetie”. Big Bro admits that he was scared too.
- Diaper change for Twin Crazy is thankfully uneventful.
- Then both twins decide to climb up and down the stairs, playing. Breaking the rule of “no playing on the stairs”. I shuffle them down. Oh, forgot to mention that days prior they both worked together to dismantle the gate/board at the foot of the stairs. So now they have free reign of the stairs walking up, walking down, walking up, walking down, etc. etc. etc.
- I run upstairs and take my anxiety pill with my coffee.
- OK, 8 AM!!! Time to go!!! Everyone begins to shuffle out. Finding shoes, finding jackets, finding the toys they want to bring. Big Bro says that for this week he wants to bring only Toy Story toys to pre-school because he likes Toy Story, and also Batman because he likes superheros.
- Red is proud that she buckled herself in by herself. Big Bro has been doing this for awhile now, thank goodness. Makes things much easier.
- I drag the big “Smart and Final” bag of all the kids clothes, shoes, and jackets for daycare.
- Hubby and I make the first drop off: Red and Twins. We let the provider know that Twin Husky is teething with two big molars on each side. I give each of my sweeties a kiss on the top of the head.
- Hubby and I make second drop off: Big Bro; it is crazy hair day! Wait a minute, the ONE day that he does NOT have crazy hair!!! We promptly fix that with water and gel. He now looks like a rock star.
- Hubby and I head to the ferry with plenty of time to spare.
All in all, the morning went well. There were only 2 breakdowns, which really isn’t bad. We are on the ferry now. The day is beautiful. Water is flat. Approaching the city now. For work today I will need to focus on:
- Helping with RFP response, developing question list for further clarification
- Selling phase two for project we are wrapping up; need to outline what Phase 2 could look like
- Beginning Executive presentation format for next socialization meeting with client senior executives
- ON a personal front: need to set appointments for mothers helpers to visit our home. Our current helper found full time employment and her last day will be this Friday.
That’s it for now. I’m in a good mood because of this Mama in Motion project and also since the sun is out. I am thankful for that!
Highlights of my Working Day:
- OK so I get to the office and begin my transformation into career woman – in the ladies room I put on my makeup and pull my wet hair back in a clip. I go inside the office and head directly to kitchen to grab tea and water. I also throw some trail mix in a cup for breakfast (terrible, I know). I boot up the computer and read emails to see what I need to accomplish quickly. I take some time to look at CNN.com for what is happening in the world. Now I’m ready to begin.
- Worked on some business development activities; started the response process to a “Request for Proposal” which basically involved reviewing the document and thinking about what our approach could be if we won the work. Ultimately there are clarifying questions that we need to pose so worked with the team to get these drafted. I packaged the questions and sent off to the potential client – “another great example of good teamwork” [Director comment]. Now we’ll need to put a proposal together to win the business…
- At lunch I responded to a number of potential “mother’s helpers” and set up meetings with several over the next few nights. We need to hire someone by this Friday.
- Started to think about follow on work we could do for the project we recently completed. Thought about the strategic questions the project could address based upon our understanding of the client issues – and also drafted the objectives of the work and thoughts on the analysis so we can help to sell the work and its value.
- Tried to download files from a secure server for a litigation support case we are starting. All to no avail. Will have to work with the technology contact tomorrow to get the files.
I’m on the ferry now and it is still sunny out – beautiful day. But I’ve lost the spunk I had this morning. I am tired, and my heart feels very, very heavy – more for reasons to be discussed later I suppose. The ferry ride should be enjoyable, right? I’m headed home to see my kids, right? Why do I feel this way? I look around at the crowd here and I feel like I can’t relate to any of these people. Hubby is not here so I assume he is taking a later ferry. I’ll pick up kids on my own which is actually fun (think loud music and singing which I can’t really do with hubby) but I’m just not the person I used to be, want to be, or should be. I feel tired, isolated and alone. I’m not sure what we’ll have for dinner tonight. I’ll likely do a quick homemade mac-n-cheese and some sort of veggie. I hope their little faces pull me out of my awful mood. Plus we have a potential mother’s helper coming tonight at 6:30. I must snap out of this.
Dinner and Bedtime:
The evening was relatively good; homemade macaroni and cheese, along with carrots and broccoli cooked in a double steamer. We had our current Mother’s Helper show an interviewee around as a potential replacement. She seems nice. We are meeting two others tomorrow evening.
The kids ate well. The twins ate like teenagers.
The only sad thing tonight was that there was not much time to play with them. Dinner ended too late. The big outing was going to get the mail with Big Bro, Red, and Twin Husky. They like that little routine. Our mother’s helper and Hubby whisked the Twins off for storytime. I was in charge of Big Bro and Red. No major issues. I taught them how to arm wrestle which was really, really cute. My guess is that in 2 years Big Bro will probably beat me. We read books and I kissed both sweeties goodnight. I’ll go back later at my own bedtime to kiss all four sweeties and make sure they’re covered. It’s always cold here.
Overall the day was fine; but my heart still feels heavy right now. I will likely get into those reasons at a later time but for now I am thankful that my kids ate well and they are tucked in bed, hopefully dreaming right now.
Signing off until tomorrow,
Mama K.
p.s., comments appreciated. Do people want to hear this stuff???!?!?!?
Yes, it is great to read. I read it on the bus this morning and have wanted to comment all day. I am sure you get a lot out of writing it, I can tell how important it is for you to be present with your kids and with your work, and this journal is a great tool to help you do that. For me, it strikes so many similarities to my life, too, and challenges I am facing – it’s a good starting point for my own reflection. So thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are embarking on this site at a most convenient time for me as I am going through a lot of transitions (you may have heard, we are moving!) and asking a lot of similar work/life balance questions.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond! We really need to catch up – it has been too long since we’ve seen each other. Good luck on the move. Good luck with the transitions coming up in your life. I think that one of the hardest things a “new” mom can do is making that separation from kids and going back to work. It’s especially hard if you are not thrilled with what you are doing in terms of work… so I hope you at least have that on your side. For me, I’ve been going through the motions and trying to convince myself that my work is worthy… but it’s a tough sell. I think the transitions/evolutions do not end. That’s why I wanted to get this project going. I think we can build a community to help each other, make it easier for each other.
THanks again for reading – I’m about to post the daily journal for today. I had an excellent day with the kids. I was laughing most of the evening!
I read everything, and i feel sad. i feel sad because i understand, and i think you probably don’t want to be doing all of the things you are and trying balance all of it, but feel stuck becuase of the current economic requirements. i really don’t think there’s any such thing as balancing it, if you do one thing, you must neglect the other. for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and our choices are impactful. when i read what you’re writing, i totally understand your “heavy heart” you could write a book, your picture is so clear. deifnately love reading and enjoy supporting your outlet. i don’t know how you do it all Mama K! Do you ever get time for hubby and you?
When are you coming here for a weekend visit??!?!?!??! We’re getting to know each other better over the web than over all of these years?@!???@?! We have alot to talk about. I love that you are reading and “getting it”. I’m trying to make changes in my life lately but I think there is alot more that needs to be done. Will hopefully get there over time but things have been rough for me lately. It’s getting better, but we deserve more as a family. Will you be at Lisa’s baby shower next weekend? Hope so. Would love to see you.
Mama K, this is a full and happy day !!! i kept on reading and started imagining everything you do……….. picture I get is that of super woman !! 🙂
Thank you for this great note! Most times I don’t feel like a superwoman but the thing that keeps me going are my kids. I miss them terribly during the day but I know I am working to make their lives better. I’ve been doing this now for 5 years and I can honestly say that I still have not figured it all out – the balancing act. I’ve developed some tricks that work for me (which I will share through this site) but really it is an evolution as your goals change, priorities change, and as the kids get older.
Thank you for this – I write about my morning on the commute to work and it is perfect timing. I’ll continue as long as folks find it interesting!!